Love, Unity, Peace. Pumpkins.

 I have a few more pictures to share, so I'll start with that:

My Shiva pumpkin with a strange top (I couldn't tell you a specific reason I cut it that way, it just seemed like a cool idea. I can confirm, it was quite satisfying to fit the three prongs into place, kind of like a giant key fitting into a lock.) In any case, I think it came out quite well.

Next up, our cats are getting cuddly due to the cold weather. This morning Reiko just wanted to curl up in my lap and periodically look up into my eyes while I pet her, purring like a gentle motor. It's easy practice for loving the God present in another. No words to distract, no emotional baggage, just simple affection. 

I like to take these moments to practice gratitude, and think about how the Creator is present in each of his(/her) creations, and to love and cherish and treat them with kindness, is to treat God with kindness. I think when we consciously remember to see the God in others, it uplifts them as well. It's like the Pygmalion effect, which I was introduced to and had illustrated to me in my teaching. If a teacher thinks a student is especially bright, they perform especially well. Same is true, unfortunately, if the teacher thinks they are not bright, or a trouble-maker. We all contain multitudes, and whichever facit we put our attention on, in others, is what we tend to enhance and strengthen, in those others.

And, perhaps an even deeper lesson, is we enhance those qualities we see, in ourselves as well. Thus it behooves us to see the best we can, in all those around us. (while avoiding being pollyanna and gullible, of course.)

And even further, others see us, and if they see us talking and thinking poorly about others, they assume we are doing that about them as well. To criticise is to throw mud on yourself. Or perhaps you could think of it as getting mud on yourself, when you attempt to throw it at someone else.

I could probably say something about this current election (or most elections, really) but I will refrain. My prayer is for peace and understanding among all of us, and a reaching of hands across the alienating and darkness filled divides that separate people from each other. We are all trying to do our best, we all have reasons for our feelings, our choices, and if we could only find each other in a meeting of minds and hearts, our unity could bring about positive change, even if we continued to hold differing views. The division and hatred weakens us, diminishes us, makes us more vulnerable to manipulation by bad actors. 

I know it's terribly hard, but the way out is through love, understanding, and peace, while holding to what our conscious tells us is right (not convenient or easy, but right.) And that is different than what hatred or fear tells us we should do. An example of one man doing this sucessfully, here.

In my recent readings, I came across a cool question, for guiding one's actions, it's something like this, "does this diminish or expand me?"

All the best, and I hope you find peace and love and good people to support you in this stressful time.

-Isaac

Fire, leaves, play

Coming up for air, and that means a blog. Or two, in this case.

I'll just give a few quick impressions, for this post:

Playing 'catch the leaf' as the wind blows them off the trees.

(This is a picture of all the leaves I caught during a particularly fruitful walk.)

Reveling in the fall colors.

Starting my first indoor fire in a fireplace (at least as far as I can remember)

I had no idea how much I enjoy creating, having, and tending a fire until I did this. It's absolutely magical. And especially nice as the fireplace insert makes burning wood actually energy efficient and not bad for the environment (it burns up most of the bad stuff that comes out in the smoke). And safe and mostly not smoky. I'm a convert.

As a side note, it's interesting, how 'magical' is one of my favorit words for something I really enjoy. I think that says something about me and what I like. It's true: I quite like magic.

Lots of things to enjoy in this fall season. Continuing to be deeply grateful for the extra time I have due to taking classes a bit slower. It just makes everything better.

I'm thinking about how I'd like to have a habit of being creative every day. That free-flowing creativity I've experienced with a few of my favorite teachers, have been some of my favorite times in my life. So why am I not doing more of it? Haven't yet figured out how I want to incorporate that without making myself super busy again, but I think I'm going to give it a try some time soon.

Alright, see you in a second with a second post ;-)

Time to breathe, SMART is dumb, quick and dirty clean.

It's blog time! I appreciate the fact that it's on time! I am currently feeling pretty good about being on top of things. It's a nice feeling. Gratitude for past me for going down in the number of classes I'm taking. I keep coming back to how nice that is. If I ever stop being grateful for it, I need to make myself super busy again (not for too long), so I can feel and appreciate the contrast. 

I also need to make good use of the time, so it's not wasted. How to do that? I like the idea of deciding what is really important to do, while outside in nature. Being away from technology, distractions, etc., allows me to more easily take a larger, more comprehensive view of things, and set my goals based on what is truly most important to me. And just what is most important, for me to get done now. It's easy, once I'm in the midst of things, to lose track of that, and just do the next thing I see in front of me.

The other element is having something ambitious to be working on. I've heard that in actualty, SMART goals are not actually that smart. Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic and Time-bound. It's kinda a dumb acronym. Yes, it should be Specific, but that really should already include time-bound and measurable. And yes, it should feel possible, but actually it's missing an essential ingrediant: it should be a stretch.

Just like Vygotsky talks about with his "zone of proximal development" and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in "Flow" talks about appropriate challenge, if our goals are too easy, then we may do them, but we're not doing our best. It is only when something is within our reach, but challenging, that we mobilize to give our best effort. Lack of challenge leads to stagnation boredom, and underachievement. So basically, I  need to make sure I have clear, inspiring and challenging goals, for when I've got some spare time.

Or else use it for some positive recreation/rest activity.

I've gotten into the habit, at the inspiration of some spiritual text I read, to pray morning and eveing, "for the strength and courage to stick to the right path" with a few specifiers for what I'm particularly focusing on. I do it with a visualization/symbol ("the hourglass") from the Cutting Ties work that I really like (someone from a Jungian perspective crossed with my favorite spiritual teacher) and it seems to be really helping be to do that. It's always exciting when I find something that's really effective for me. I'm also continuing to enjoy the "personal kanban" system I've been using to track my tasks and projects, so that's in the same vein of "something that's working for me."

What I'm really excited about is now having a little bit of breathing room, and taking the time to do some organization and cleaning of my spaces. The intention is to do this quickly and efficiently, not spending a long time on making it perfect, but just making simple, quick, homes for everything, so it is actually possible to put it all away, relatively quickly, while still being able to find things, relatively quickly. I've put this off for a long time, because there's always been a fire that needed putting out, but I finally find myself with the time to do this. Maybe. Still only about an hour to do it today, but that's an hour more than I've had for weeks if not months. This "just put it away quickly and don't get precious about it" is a new approach, so we'll see how it actually goes. There might be a learning curve.

Alright, I'm off!

With love, and prayers for peace in the world

-Isaac

Costco, Yom Kippur, Vijayadashami, and Snow White.

Alright, it feels good to be on schedule. Yesterday was Yom Kippur, and during my morning sit spot, I was absolutely inundated by birds. cardinals, red crested wood peckers, large pretty blue and white birds, small brown birds. It felt like a scene out of Snow White. It felt quite magical. They were getting closer than they normaly do, as well. I have no idea practically speaking, why this happened, but it felt like a little communication between God and me, letting me know today was special for me, perhaps for all Jews.

In addition, it was the tenth day of the Navaratri celebrations this year, which felt special as well. Since I consider myself a hinjew, those holidays falling on the same date made them extra special. I spend the day fasting, reflecting, meditating praying. I took care of some practical matters as well, but not too much, and I taught my spiritual class for children in the evening as always.

I used the day to reflect and repent, as is traditional. What are my personal faults that most need remedying? And then making the determination to change them (and praying for the "strength and courage" to do so, and stick with it.

I don't believe that you can magically make up for all your past misdeeds via one day of prayer and fasting. But perhaps it can help seal my personal commitment to remidy my faults.

Incidentally, part of the class I taught was about that. appropriate for the holiday. (though we also talked about strengths and spiritual goals.)

-whoop, gotta go! I'll tell you about it later. Costco trip! First I've got to extract myself though:

(so cozy)

I could tell you about the Costco trip, now that I'm back, but I think that is enough of a blog post. It wasn't particularly interesting to watch, I'd guess, but it was enjoyable to spend time with a dear friend on the ride up and back. Said friend is also teaching me his favorite easy and tasty recipes, and though I don't eat salmon, I'm learning how to cook it, since Suzannah may need the easily digestible protein, and making a fancy salmon dinner is major husband brownie points :-D

The sticky-note board as a low-tech productivity technique I'm test-running. Aesthetically and kinesthetically it's quite pleasing, but the main point is just to limit how many projects I'm working on at once (to, generally, 3 or less) so I don't feel overwhelmed, and stay focused on a those few tasks to completion. Though it is also pretty useful to have the list of stuff to do, what I am working on, and what I have completed, in front of me, as a reminder. In any case, it didn't require any extra money outlay, took about 20 minutes to set up, and seems to be helping a bit, while also making work a little more fun, so I'll call it a win. If you're interested, the idea is called "personal kanban."

Alright, goodbye for now, wishing you sucess in all your endeavours that bring joy peace and goodness to you and the world.

I out

Content warning: probably-boring-to-most-of-you musings on the spiritual path, devotion, and suffering.

Haha! I'm ahead of schedule now! Here is my heady second half of the post from my previous blog, about my thoughts on devotion, the quote about Krishna and calamities, the purpose of suffering, and one's spiritual path. If that doesn't sound interesting to you, now you know you can skip it!

Recap:

Kunti, the Queen of Kuru thanked Krishna for helping her and her
children in many calamities, and said may there be many more such
calamities if it means Krishna will keep coming to help them so they
can see Him.

I think this is a beautiful lesson for anyone who is going through a rough patch in their lives (and so many are these days.) Not the same but related, I subscribe to the belief that whatever happens is for my good. It's a belief in a benevolent God. But how do you reconcile that with painful and 'bad' things happening in your life?

Well, first off that's quite a big philosophical can of worms to get into, but as I understand the idea of karma, part of that is that you get the reflection reaction and resound of your own actions, though often not right away. But the other part is, using an analogy, a parent giving their child some bitter medicine to cure them of a dangerous disease. It may not be pleasant going down, but it is for the long-term good of the child. Often our greatest learnings and transformations have an element of discomfort, or sadness or loss involved in them. The whole Bhagavad-Gita came about out of the "yoga of despair" of Arjuna, overwhelmed with grief on the battlefield from the thought of having to kill his teachers and extended family, and thus finally surrendering to Krishna (God) completely, out of the despair of not seeing any good path forward. From that, all the great teachings of the Gita came.

I agree with my dad's sentiment that going out and looking for pain or suffering seems counterproductive to a good life. However, I also think avoiding things that matter to you because it involves some discomfort, or shunning it as bad or wrong if discomfort happens to you, is also counterproductive to a good life. In our fear of discomfort or loss we insulate ourselves not just from pain, but from life itself. In our resistance or labeling of pain as wrong, we resist it and thus empower it further.

And this idea that whatever happens is for my good alone, is a way of taking unpleasant events, and prompting oneself to find a way to reframe them in a positive light. It may be unpleasant, but what is it teaching me? By asking the question, the pain can be converted into growth towards something better.

The quote from the Bhagavatam is similar, though perhaps even more intense and profound. Not just a little pain, but even 'calamities.' And not just finding something to be learned from them, but, if they bring God close to you to rescue you, even welcoming them. 

I suppose one could argue that not everybody gets Krishna to come to them personally to help them with their problems. It was Kunti's intense devotion to Krishna, that caused him to intervene so dramatically, I'd say. And her sentiment is more an illustration of that state of mind and heart, rather than a pathway to it.

But it does stand in my mind as a role model to look up to. I aspire towards such a deep level of trust in God and yearning for Him (/Her/It). I mean, what I really want is closeness and experience of God, but I suppose my spiritual search indicates to me that the yearning itself for God, is part of what draws Him to us. 

Oh, one final note, that I was reminded of in the email (though it's not what was said, it just made me think of it) was the idea of 'which spiritual path is better?' between Bhakti and Jnana Yoga. I'm not really a fan of that debate. Everyone's path is unique and that is between you and your guru (if you're lucky enough to have a personal, enlightened guru) or else between you and your inner guru (that's most of us.) And in either case, your guidance is going to give you what you need, which may at one point be intensely doing stuff, at another focusing on love and God, and at another inquiring into the nature of Self, to name just a few possibilities. While there are certainly missteps one can make, I don't think they are so simple as to be condensed into 'this path is right and that is wrong.' I think of it more like a dark wood we're trying to get through with just a dim lantern, and there are various pathways through it to the other side. And all the paths have roots and holes and stuff that you need to watch out for.

But the 'my path is right, yours is wrong' debate seems basically the same as the 'my religion is right, yours is wrong' debate, which I think is responsible for a significant amount of people doing really crummy things to each other, and has produced no love, kindness, joy, or peace in the world. I'm having a hard time imagining a single good thing that could come from that viewpoint. I suppose I could go back to one of my initial points, and the suffering and/or pain caused by that belief could be used to teach me something and help me grow. But as with any pain or suffering, even though I can learn from it and grow from it as I accept it, I wouldn't wish it on anyone, or consciously decide to seek more of it out or promote it. Which I suppose was the point of my dad's email. On the other hand, in reference to Kunti's quote, if pain or suffering could somehow get me personal time with Krishna, I think I might enthusiastically say sign me up.

Funny thing is, it's easy to say that, but in practice, my actions indicate that I would in fact not choose that, and would instead choose comfort. And that's why they pay devotees like Kunti the big bucks, so to speak. True devotion is easier said than done.

OK! If you read this post, I hope you enjoyed it and I accurately described the content beforehand. And otherwise, I hope you read the 'content' warning at the beginning and skipped it, in which case, I'm quite confused how you are reading this, but love you just the same.

Love and peace to you,

Isaac

Krishna. New seeds. Devotion.

 I feel like I should include a picture to conclude the saga of the plant, though I think I already gave away the (unsurprising?) ending:

It DEAD.

However, I have a larger species of the plant that is growing right outside my window. Most of it has been weeded but one plant survives. I gently touched some of the flowers, looking to see if there were seeds inside and ripe, and they fell right off, so I caught some more in my hand and brought them back.

I'll try growing from seed this time, and hopefully won't have the aphid problem, or the transplant shock problem. Though I may have the wrong soil type, as mostly I see them growing between rocks and such. Maybe my soil is TOO good, and they won't like it. In any case, the experiment continues. Maybe I should actually do some research, but who writes about how to sprout weeds? 🤣

Answer: apparently, me.

I should probably also use my plant id app to figure out the name of the plant, to facilitate searching.

I had to pause for a while, because I wasn't sure what else to talk about, and there was something I had specifically wanted to talk about. I remembered:

The quote from last time, about suffering if it meant constantly remembering God. My father sent me an email about it (he's not fond of suffering as a spiritual practice) which made me try to find the original quote, and thanks to Devala's encyclopedic knowledge about all things Hindu, I was able to locate the actual source. Thanks Devala ^_^

It is something Kunti said (the mother of Arjuna, Yudhisthira, etc.), in the Bhagavata (Which I believe is a bunch of stories mostly focused on devotion to Krishna.) The actual sentiment is more this (just taking his words from the email): 

"She thanked Krishna for helping her and her children in many calamities, and said may there be many more such calamities if it means Krishna will keep coming to help them so they can see Him."

Which is a slightly different sentiment. It's not asking for suffering, or even calamities, but more saying, I'll accept anything gladly, even calamities, if it means getting to be in your presence (Krishna's presence.)

If you're interested in looking up the quote for yourself, Devala kindly provided that as well:

Shrimad Bhagavata Mahapurana,
skandha 1, chapter 8, shloka 25

I wrote a bunch more about this, but it was kind of heady, and I don't think all of you are here for that. Maybe I'll turn it into a seperate post with a informative heading so you can skip it easily.

Love and warmth to all of you,

Isaac

Fractal God Geometry, Childlike Awe.

 I started talking about this in a previous post: the return of childlike wonder. I was thinking about it, as I washed my hands the other day, and noticed the soap happened to be making particularly good, big bubbles. Maybe there was something about the light as well, but it was beautiful, and made me reflect on being a child, and playing with bubbles, with joy and awe and wonder. Soap bubbles are pretty amazing. this perfect, super thin sphere, swirling with iridescint colors. And if your hands are soapy enough, you can even hold them and move them around. And the way they interact with other bubbles, an organic, fractal kind of geometry.

I remember making wire-frame type structures to dunk in bubble solution, and making different shapes with it, like cube bubbles, and such. And I was just feeling grateful, that I could still wonder at and enjoy the beauty and order and mystery and depth of complexity, in the world. In fact, it doesn't feel like I can 'still' do it, but more like I had somewhat forgotten how to do it, and slowly, it is coming back to me.

It reminds me of some of my recent dreams. At least two, maybe three recent dreams, I've been bawling in them, deep heaving sobs crying. You might think that's a bad sign, but I really enjoy that kind of cathartic depth of feeling. My emotions are generally pretty even, and so something like deep, moving sadness, can have a refreshing quality. Like the tears are washing away some long caked on dirt. Sometimes, in my dreams, I'm sobbing for God. I'm feeling, deeply, the loss of God not being there, or at least, not feeling him there, in my heart, in my experience, and I wonder if that is a little taste of what some of the Indian scriptures talk about, with the Gopi's, the cowherd women devotees of Krishna. That deep heartfelt yearning for God draws God irresistibly to you, so say the scriptures. And so that kind of sadness, those tears, are precious.

Because I believe that journey to One requires incredible focus, dedication, intensity. And so a depth of feeling, yearning, is a great gift in that journey.

One phrase that has stuck with me, I think from the Bhagavatam, a series of stories about God in his/her/its various forms, I think in fact another Krishna story, one devotee (maybe even a gopi devotee) says something like 'may I always have pain, so that I never forget to think of you, oh my Krishna.'

Finally, the soap bubble motif made me think of another saying from my favorit spiritual teacher, that goes something like, 'the body is like a water bubble, the mind is like a mad monkey, so don't follow the body, don't follow the mind. Follow the conscience, which is the voice of God within you.' That part about the body being a water bubble, made me think of those bubbles. He's talking about our bodys impermanence. Not even a soap bubble, which can last a little longer. Just a water bubble. Appearing for a moment, only to pop and merge back in with the sea.