Excessive Paperwork. Filtering Fish. Learning to Drive.

 It is Monday night, which is basically the end of my long weekend. The first two days of my weekend were straight up writing documentation or other time sensitive stuff. I did that right into the night, not moving very much, till my wife came into the living room which was pitch black because I hadn't gotten up from my seat on the couch from when it was light out. I'm doing a lot of work. There is a lot of work to do. It's feeling a bit excessive. I'm super into my work as a counselor, and so I at least for now have the energy for it via my enthusiasm, but I think it's a bit much to be sustainable.

and here I am, almost 9, and there are just so so many more things on my list I wanted to get done this weekend. As always, I wish for more time.

I'm thinking about filtering. I think I often do more than is necessary, because I don't have a good filter that lets me discard unimportant things. I just take whatever is in front of me, and do it as though it's important, trying to do a good job on it. There are many times when it would be better to go "eh, I think that's good enough." And leave it at that, or even "you know what, this is taking too long, it's not worth the time." Or even, "I think this isn't worth doing at all, for now."

Deciding, or figuring out, which things are the ones that should get filtered out, quickly and without a lot of energy expended, is a weak point for me, and so I'm putting some attention on it, because I would like to get better at it. Spending 4 hours per set of intake paperwork is excessive. Even one hour per normal paperwork per client, seems excessive, and absolutely unsustainable, when I have a normal client load.

Some of this is made more difficult though, because there is so much that I am still learning. I remember reading somewhere, one of the things experienced therapists do better than newbies, is filter out the important stuff that gets said in session, from the unimportant. The new therapists think everything is equally important, and so are overwhelmed and often the important stuff gets missed, because they can't pick it out from the rest. I certainly feel that way about what I'm writing in the after-session paperwork. But also with all the little things I have to keep track of. It's like learning to drive: at first, there is way too much to keep track of at once. Eventually, most of it becomes automatic. Until then, it feels pretty nerve wracking and you're always cutting people off in traffic because you didn't check your mirror or put on your turn signal because you were just trying to stay in your lane.

It seems like a skill wholly or mostly separate from doing counseling. I would still want to take notes even if nothing was required for insurance, but they would be a lot different, and take a lot less time. Perhaps there is some use in the structured format they are in. But the amount of time I'm putting in, is more than the use I'm getting out of it. Still working to find the balance of that.

Gotta go now. still need to do dishes before I go to bed. Still very enthusiastic and positive about my internship, but also feeling a bit overwhelmed. Probably a normal feeling.

OK, that's all for this week. Hooray for not falling behind on this.

Oh, P.S. the filtering fish reference in the intro is just a CBT story for kids I heard. That filter was about only seeing negative stuff (or not, and seeing the positive as well) but just the idea of filtering stuck with me, though my filtering is of a totally different nature.

Two Rabbits, One Client, Many Sneezes

I have seen my first client solo! It is wonderful. One client last week, four (planned) this week. Have a head cold and sneezing like crazy. Thankful for soft cloth handkerchiefs, for my nose, and the environment. Feeling very busy, but also excited and grateful. Doing this work continues to feel very good. Such a different experience to teaching.

OK, that's it for this week. Short I know but better than nothing.

There are so many things I want to do, and like doing. That's a good thing, in many ways. I'm engaged in life. But I think it does require me getting better and focusing, because otherwise my energy is going in too many directions and it is non-ideal. What's the phrase? Chase two rabbits catch none? Or something like that.

Anyhoo, good-bye for now and good luck in your own endeavours.

Love, Isaac

Mole-Trip, LitRPG-Trauma, Deliberate-Practice

That last one was actually written February 4th, this one is actually written February 16th. Things are exceedingly busy this week. They were even busier last week, which is why I didn't write anything. I may have my first solo client this week. Exciting!

I just drove up to Iowa City and back to get a skin culture for a mole. I'm very tired. My wife's sister and sister's youngest kid were visiting for the weekend. I'm listening to a fun fluffy LitRPG "He Who Fights With Monsters" by Shirtaloon, and a heavy practical one about trauma and children and counseling called "The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog" kind of need to alternate so I don't traumatize myself with too much of the heavy stuff.

There is no way I'm going to get half of the stuff I have planned for this week done, and the other half is gonna have to get done much more poorly than I like. I spend a bunch of time researching and preparing a presentation where I ended up presenting about 1% of what I researched and then got cut off because we ran out of time. Also I don't think anyone was interested. Was that a poor use of my time? I still don't think so as what I was researching was imminently practical. Deliberate practice as applied to improving oneself as a counselor, as the most scientifically grounded way of doing that. Same general idea I had for teacher training. I really should do more of that, since I'm so passionate about it.

OK, very tired and I think I have more to do before I go to bed so I should cut this short.

May you have love and magic in your life,

-Isaac

Morality, Sickness, Egg salad.

Time keeps passing so quickly. I'm in the thick of things and there's so much going on. Practicum/internship, Career Counseling, A wedding this weekend. Also maybe I'm sick? Headache stomach ache, but no fever, cough, or sneeze. I was able to sleep all day, that's usually a sign my body is fighting something, normally I can't just stay in bed all day with my eyes closed, I need to get up and start doing stuff.

Anyhoo, just wanted to put out something this week, so I'm not getting further and further behind with my blogs. And I like posting a blog every week. Someday I'd like to be writing and creating more, regularly. But now is not the time to add another thing onto my plate.

I made egg salad! That's almost like cooking. I feel confident in my egg salad making abilities. I can follow that recipe.

OK, that's all for now. Going to go to bed before 9 to get extra sleep, I think I will go into internship tomorrow, if they will let me. It's an interesting question though. Is it immoral?

Hmm, coming back to this much later, it looks like I never sent this.

Tracking what I did throughout my whole week, a half-hour at a time: results and insights

Hello! It's been a while since my last post. Life is very full and busy. 

Some quick tidbits: I did a time audit for the last week, where I tracked what I did in 30 minute increments. Though I actually got a bit more granular, as I often do a lot of little things each hour. I guess that's one of the insights that came from doing that: left to my own devices, I do lots of useful but bite-sized things. When I'm at work  (at my practicum site. It looks a lot simpler. hour chunks of seeing clients. very simple. I wonder if it might be useful to set aside larger chunks when I'm not at work, to really move forward on some bigger, important projects.

Other insight: I use my time pretty well. Not perfect, but there were only a few chunks during the week where I was clearly doing something I'd rather not be. Often times it happens from me doing good things, but just doing them for too long. I guess it's a nice pat on the back. Also it tell me I need to take more breaks in the middle of things to check in and make sure it's still a good idea to keep working on them.

So: larger chunks of single things, but also breaks in the middle, to re-align with my internal compass.

Also, some of the few time wastes occured when I was a) emotionally upset, or b) watching productivity videos. Ironic, that watching productivity video's are some of my least productive times.

This was a general issue I noticed, I didn't have many clear cut "just stop doing x" things. Almost everything was "well, that's not really a bad thing to do, just maybe not the best use of your time here." or even, "this might be a great use of your time, but it might be a very poor use of your time. You won't really know until later on when you see the fruits of your labor."

Overall, it have me a few specific insights, but also some self-confidence. I'm doing pretty good. Not terrible, for sure.

Oh, one final insight: it takes me a while to actually get to bed, from the time I stop doing stuff. A long wind-down time, I'd call it. So, I really have to stop working pretty early, like 8:30, if I want to go to bed really early. And yes, it's already about 9:15pm as I write this.

One other thing that has been really helpful, is taking a moment throughout the day, to pause, breath, get quiet, and reconnect to source, then ask what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. This really gives me the course correction I need to feel pretty good about how I spend my day.

I've got plenty more blogs to catch up on, so I'll leave it at that for now, but I just want to add that I'm continuing to love my internship/practicum. I chose a good site, a good supervisor, and I'm becoming more and more confident, a good profession for me. I'm currently taking career counseling as my final academic course, and it's making me think about my journey to here, which has been a long and winding one, and how I hope I can help some other people shortcut that journey a bit, and what a gift it is to find work that suits you.

OK, good night, and have a good week. 

First day of School, First day of work.

It is already January 12th! What to say. It's a short post because there's lots to do. Tomorrow is my first day 'at the office' so to speak, in m practicum. excited, maybe a bit nervous, not sure I'll get everything done to prepare, in time, though most of that preparation is not necessary, just the 'ol "over-prepare before the first day" kind of thing. And today was my first day of classes for this semester. Career development. I guess we'll see how good I did with my own career choice this time, over the next few months. But maybe I'll start to get a feel for it, sooner than that. I'll let you know ;o-)

Parents are in town, it's nice to see them. It's so different, having parents while in middle age, rather than having parents as a kid. Trippy to think of myself as not a kid anymore, even after all these years. I still feel young, like there is so much to do and learn and discover. Though my body is not feeling as young :D

Maybe I will leave it there, and keep it nice and quick. I've got a HIPPA training to complete and a weekly review to do some more on, and it's already 6pm! I didn't squander the day though, I've been working hard and with focus, on things that are important. Can't really ask for much more, except to be doing that with a spiritual constant-integrated-awareness and Bhagavad-Gita-style dedication of the fruits of action.

New Year's Reflections and Visions

There is nothing intrinsically special about new years, but there is something psychologically special. Chronological dates have subconscious meanings to us, and so when there are conceptual 'new beginnings', even if there is nothing really special about the chronologically, they carry extra weight because we believe they do. As such, I figure I might as well take the opportunity to reflect on my past year and think about what I might want to put attention on or have as a vision or goal for the coming one.

With this new year, I'm going to start my practicum. That means seeing actual clients. I'm excited about that! I'm excited in specific, about getting to finally put what I've learned into practice, about getting to finally start learning the skills, in ways that just reading or infrequent mock practice sessions could never accomplish. And I'm excited and maybe a little nervous, to finally get the litmus test of if this career move was a good one. Everything I've experienced, and the opinions of the people who know me best indicate it will be a good fit, but the final test of that is actually doing it, and weirdly I don't get to do that until 2+ years into the program. Weird. But a lot about our education system is pretty weird, so I guess par for the course?

So there's that. There's been a lot of bumps, trying to get pregnant, appointments, medical procedures, all the stuff associated with having difficulties getting pregnant. Suzannah has been dealing with the brunt of it, and I'm running support duty as I can.

Despite all those challenges, it is wonderful getting to go through life with your best friend, which we both get to do. We started playing a game together called Clair Obscur, which is beautiful and has great music and an interesting story and world. It's fun getting to go on an adventure together, without having to leave the house. The fireplace is super cozy, it's going right now, and the cats are perpetually loving and super cute and cuddly. Overall I say: Life is good and I am full of gratitude for it.

In terms of my personal and spiritual development, I continue to push forward and grow and my state of general contentment and gratitude becomes more decoupled from the inevitable ups and downs of life as my sense of spiritual presence and awareness gets deepend and more integrated throughout my day-to-day goings-on.

What about new year's resolutions, plans, visions, intentions?

Well, the intention is to have a kid, but ultimately that is up to the universe and any benevolent intelligence behind it all that I would call God. I will do my part and accept what comes.

In terms of specific things, the #1 that comes up for me is I'd love to get into a habit of going to bed and getting up early, and finishing my morning routine by 8-ish so I can start my work early-on. So far this has eluded me, and I don't think Suzannah really cares about going to bed that early, so I'm not sure how this one will shake out.

For my #2, I'd like to keep my primary vision/goals/values front and center of my mind, and let them direct where I put my time attention and energy. I've already started doing this, but I want it to become more consistant and constant throughout the day. Part of this is making sure I have clarity on what that vision is, and it's compelling and intrinsically motivating, the other part is just remembering to bring it to mind regularly and letting it guide my decisions, plans, and actions. Everything else flows out of this one, and really it should be number 1, not the bedtime thing, which is rather small in comparison, importance-wise.

#3 will be, I'll say, the most obvious and immediate goal that comes out of having my Vision in my focus. It is having a constant integrated awareness throughout the day. Awareness of what? Hard to name it. Spirit, presence, God, Self, What Is, Truth, Love.

The rest are little specific things. I'd love to do more regular creative things, I'd love to have a more regularly timed daily ritual/routine, I want to become a really good therapist (maybe that's a bit premature for my first year, but at least get a good start on it.) I want to get better at staying focused and doing the things that really matter to me, and letting the unimportant things go, even when they seem urgent or important or sticky (metaphorically) in the moment.

I think I'll leave it at that for now. Maybe Suzannah and I will make some collaborative one's together this afternoon.

Wishing you all a happy new year, I hope it brings you good things, connection, peace, love, and expansion of your heart and mind.

-Isaac