Mole-Trip, LitRPG-Trauma, Deliberate-Practice

That last one was actually written February 4th, this one is actually written February 16th. Things are exceedingly busy this week. They were even busier last week, which is why I didn't write anything. I may have my first solo client this week. Exciting!

I just drove up to Iowa City and back to get a skin culture for a mole. I'm very tired. My wife's sister and sister's youngest kid were visiting for the weekend. I'm listening to a fun fluffy LitRPG "He Who Fights With Monsters" by Shirtaloon, and a heavy practical one about trauma and children and counseling called "The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog" kind of need to alternate so I don't traumatize myself with too much of the heavy stuff.

There is no way I'm going to get half of the stuff I have planned for this week done, and the other half is gonna have to get done much more poorly than I like. I spend a bunch of time researching and preparing a presentation where I ended up presenting about 1% of what I researched and then got cut off because we ran out of time. Also I don't think anyone was interested. Was that a poor use of my time? I still don't think so as what I was researching was imminently practical. Deliberate practice as applied to improving oneself as a counselor, as the most scientifically grounded way of doing that. Same general idea I had for teacher training. I really should do more of that, since I'm so passionate about it.

OK, very tired and I think I have more to do before I go to bed so I should cut this short.

May you have love and magic in your life,

-Isaac

Morality, Sickness, Egg salad.

Time keeps passing so quickly. I'm in the thick of things and there's so much going on. Practicum/internship, Career Counseling, A wedding this weekend. Also maybe I'm sick? Headache stomach ache, but no fever, cough, or sneeze. I was able to sleep all day, that's usually a sign my body is fighting something, normally I can't just stay in bed all day with my eyes closed, I need to get up and start doing stuff.

Anyhoo, just wanted to put out something this week, so I'm not getting further and further behind with my blogs. And I like posting a blog every week. Someday I'd like to be writing and creating more, regularly. But now is not the time to add another thing onto my plate.

I made egg salad! That's almost like cooking. I feel confident in my egg salad making abilities. I can follow that recipe.

OK, that's all for now. Going to go to bed before 9 to get extra sleep, I think I will go into internship tomorrow, if they will let me. It's an interesting question though. Is it immoral?

Hmm, coming back to this much later, it looks like I never sent this.

Tracking what I did throughout my whole week, a half-hour at a time: results and insights

Hello! It's been a while since my last post. Life is very full and busy. 

Some quick tidbits: I did a time audit for the last week, where I tracked what I did in 30 minute increments. Though I actually got a bit more granular, as I often do a lot of little things each hour. I guess that's one of the insights that came from doing that: left to my own devices, I do lots of useful but bite-sized things. When I'm at work  (at my practicum site. It looks a lot simpler. hour chunks of seeing clients. very simple. I wonder if it might be useful to set aside larger chunks when I'm not at work, to really move forward on some bigger, important projects.

Other insight: I use my time pretty well. Not perfect, but there were only a few chunks during the week where I was clearly doing something I'd rather not be. Often times it happens from me doing good things, but just doing them for too long. I guess it's a nice pat on the back. Also it tell me I need to take more breaks in the middle of things to check in and make sure it's still a good idea to keep working on them.

So: larger chunks of single things, but also breaks in the middle, to re-align with my internal compass.

Also, some of the few time wastes occured when I was a) emotionally upset, or b) watching productivity videos. Ironic, that watching productivity video's are some of my least productive times.

This was a general issue I noticed, I didn't have many clear cut "just stop doing x" things. Almost everything was "well, that's not really a bad thing to do, just maybe not the best use of your time here." or even, "this might be a great use of your time, but it might be a very poor use of your time. You won't really know until later on when you see the fruits of your labor."

Overall, it have me a few specific insights, but also some self-confidence. I'm doing pretty good. Not terrible, for sure.

Oh, one final insight: it takes me a while to actually get to bed, from the time I stop doing stuff. A long wind-down time, I'd call it. So, I really have to stop working pretty early, like 8:30, if I want to go to bed really early. And yes, it's already about 9:15pm as I write this.

One other thing that has been really helpful, is taking a moment throughout the day, to pause, breath, get quiet, and reconnect to source, then ask what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. This really gives me the course correction I need to feel pretty good about how I spend my day.

I've got plenty more blogs to catch up on, so I'll leave it at that for now, but I just want to add that I'm continuing to love my internship/practicum. I chose a good site, a good supervisor, and I'm becoming more and more confident, a good profession for me. I'm currently taking career counseling as my final academic course, and it's making me think about my journey to here, which has been a long and winding one, and how I hope I can help some other people shortcut that journey a bit, and what a gift it is to find work that suits you.

OK, good night, and have a good week. 

First day of School, First day of work.

It is already January 12th! What to say. It's a short post because there's lots to do. Tomorrow is my first day 'at the office' so to speak, in m practicum. excited, maybe a bit nervous, not sure I'll get everything done to prepare, in time, though most of that preparation is not necessary, just the 'ol "over-prepare before the first day" kind of thing. And today was my first day of classes for this semester. Career development. I guess we'll see how good I did with my own career choice this time, over the next few months. But maybe I'll start to get a feel for it, sooner than that. I'll let you know ;o-)

Parents are in town, it's nice to see them. It's so different, having parents while in middle age, rather than having parents as a kid. Trippy to think of myself as not a kid anymore, even after all these years. I still feel young, like there is so much to do and learn and discover. Though my body is not feeling as young :D

Maybe I will leave it there, and keep it nice and quick. I've got a HIPPA training to complete and a weekly review to do some more on, and it's already 6pm! I didn't squander the day though, I've been working hard and with focus, on things that are important. Can't really ask for much more, except to be doing that with a spiritual constant-integrated-awareness and Bhagavad-Gita-style dedication of the fruits of action.

New Year's Reflections and Visions

There is nothing intrinsically special about new years, but there is something psychologically special. Chronological dates have subconscious meanings to us, and so when there are conceptual 'new beginnings', even if there is nothing really special about the chronologically, they carry extra weight because we believe they do. As such, I figure I might as well take the opportunity to reflect on my past year and think about what I might want to put attention on or have as a vision or goal for the coming one.

With this new year, I'm going to start my practicum. That means seeing actual clients. I'm excited about that! I'm excited in specific, about getting to finally put what I've learned into practice, about getting to finally start learning the skills, in ways that just reading or infrequent mock practice sessions could never accomplish. And I'm excited and maybe a little nervous, to finally get the litmus test of if this career move was a good one. Everything I've experienced, and the opinions of the people who know me best indicate it will be a good fit, but the final test of that is actually doing it, and weirdly I don't get to do that until 2+ years into the program. Weird. But a lot about our education system is pretty weird, so I guess par for the course?

So there's that. There's been a lot of bumps, trying to get pregnant, appointments, medical procedures, all the stuff associated with having difficulties getting pregnant. Suzannah has been dealing with the brunt of it, and I'm running support duty as I can.

Despite all those challenges, it is wonderful getting to go through life with your best friend, which we both get to do. We started playing a game together called Clair Obscur, which is beautiful and has great music and an interesting story and world. It's fun getting to go on an adventure together, without having to leave the house. The fireplace is super cozy, it's going right now, and the cats are perpetually loving and super cute and cuddly. Overall I say: Life is good and I am full of gratitude for it.

In terms of my personal and spiritual development, I continue to push forward and grow and my state of general contentment and gratitude becomes more decoupled from the inevitable ups and downs of life as my sense of spiritual presence and awareness gets deepend and more integrated throughout my day-to-day goings-on.

What about new year's resolutions, plans, visions, intentions?

Well, the intention is to have a kid, but ultimately that is up to the universe and any benevolent intelligence behind it all that I would call God. I will do my part and accept what comes.

In terms of specific things, the #1 that comes up for me is I'd love to get into a habit of going to bed and getting up early, and finishing my morning routine by 8-ish so I can start my work early-on. So far this has eluded me, and I don't think Suzannah really cares about going to bed that early, so I'm not sure how this one will shake out.

For my #2, I'd like to keep my primary vision/goals/values front and center of my mind, and let them direct where I put my time attention and energy. I've already started doing this, but I want it to become more consistant and constant throughout the day. Part of this is making sure I have clarity on what that vision is, and it's compelling and intrinsically motivating, the other part is just remembering to bring it to mind regularly and letting it guide my decisions, plans, and actions. Everything else flows out of this one, and really it should be number 1, not the bedtime thing, which is rather small in comparison, importance-wise.

#3 will be, I'll say, the most obvious and immediate goal that comes out of having my Vision in my focus. It is having a constant integrated awareness throughout the day. Awareness of what? Hard to name it. Spirit, presence, God, Self, What Is, Truth, Love.

The rest are little specific things. I'd love to do more regular creative things, I'd love to have a more regularly timed daily ritual/routine, I want to become a really good therapist (maybe that's a bit premature for my first year, but at least get a good start on it.) I want to get better at staying focused and doing the things that really matter to me, and letting the unimportant things go, even when they seem urgent or important or sticky (metaphorically) in the moment.

I think I'll leave it at that for now. Maybe Suzannah and I will make some collaborative one's together this afternoon.

Wishing you all a happy new year, I hope it brings you good things, connection, peace, love, and expansion of your heart and mind.

-Isaac

Squirrels!

As I was sitting out in the backyard this morning, I saw a pair of squirrels chasing each other right in front of me, dashing in and out of the space under our shed where we think the groundhog is hibernating. Then I saw a third squirrel join in. It was quite cute, with them going under the shed in one place, then coming out another, jumping on the wood piles or fences. Then a FOURTH joined in! I haven't seen that very much, if ever, usually it's just two playing, and if there's a third it's doing its own thing. Then a fifth joined. Then a sixth. It was a whole squirrel family, out for playtime. They hung out with me basically the whole time, some getting quite close, occasionally standing up to check me out and make sure I was cool, but generally ignoring me. I've never seen that before, and was delighted. I wonder if my regular sitting out there has gotten them acclimated to me. I wonder if they are all from the same litter or something? I wonder if they were stealing the groundhog's food or peeking in at her.

I also noticed that the squirrels had pretty different tails. one looked like it had a chunk taken out of the side, by a lack of fur in one location, another had a tail that was generally scraggly and thinner than the others, with very little fur at the end. I imagine it's better in winter to have a nice poofy tail they could use as a blanket and door for their squirrel nests, so I hope the scraggly tail one is all right. A squirrel's life must be tough. Regardless, they were playing on the warm sunny day and getting along, and I counted it a blessing to get to witness it.

That's all for this one. Next one maybe I'll talk about New Years.

Bergin and Garfield, Libraries and Due Dates

Hmm, again, a lot of time has passed since my last post. 20-ish days? that's almost three weeks! Kind of crazy to think it's been so long. It feels like a flash.

I've been working with intense focus for the last few days trying to read and take notes on the interlibrary loan book that was due back yesterday. Bergin and Garfield's handbook of behavior change and psychotherapy, or something close to that. It was a really fascinating book, for me. Basically, a bunch of experts in the field wrote chapters summarizing the current research in their respective areas of expertise. They all had a researcher bent, but many also had a practitioner lense, and so the chapters contained nuanced summaries of the best research in the field on various topics, among which I was particularly interested in the chapters talking about the characteristics and skills of the most effective therapists, elements and approaches that have the most robust research, which approaches work best for which issues, suggestions for psychotherapist training, and a nuanced explanation of the research and how to read and understand the research.

If you are just reading the popular articles or youtube videos talking about 'how to be a good therapist' you are not getting the whole picture. I think that's true for quite a lot things. Nutrition, healthcare, goal-setting, etc. There is a difference between catchy phrases that people use to try and sell you on their product or program, and the research itself, which often doesn't lead you to the same conclusions the people who are trying to sell you stuff are reaching, if you actually read the source material.

Research has significant limits on what practical information it can actually give you, and good scientists make that clear. Salesmen typically don't. All that just to say, it was a great read but I definitely ran out of time, and by the end was just quickly taking pictures of chapter summaries to read later. Thankfully I planned for that eventuality and prioritized the chapters that were more important for first. That being the case I'm grateful for the artificial time deadline of the return date, and it kept me focused. I'm looking forward to going over my notes and summarizing them further to help cement the most useful information into my brain and make it easier to recall later, and stop worrying about the research question of "what can I do to make myself a good therapist" because I have as much information on that as I can reasonably get via research, at the moment. Now it's time to put it into practice.

I've got a little more I want to talk about, but this is already a long one, so I'll split it up into a second post.