Very Busy

I'm not sure what to do. I'm so far behind on my homework. I'm working on it, but it takes me so, so long. and there is so, so much of it. I think maybe there was some skill that I missed, somewhere along the line? but no, this sounds familiar from my graduate degree. Same thing, and just about everyone was feeling the same way, and I eventually got it done. Just not right away. Except I had a few weeks to work at it after school had ended, and now I'll be coming back immediately for intense prepping for school and then teaching.

I...  I think it will be ok. Eventually I'll get it done. I think. But that's not even the scary part, the scary part is apparently the next class is going to be even more intense, and strict about getting things in on time. I don't know how I'm going to do that. I just don't work that quickly. I don't think I'm working super slowly. But I'm definitely not working quick enough for that to be possible.

I mean... maybe if I only slept 4 hours a night, and really did almost nothing else... maybe. But I've never done that before and I frankly don't want to start now. When i'm sleep deprived I'm not absorbing anything in class, and class is 7 hours a day with awesome teachers. I'm not going to miss that because I'm exhausted trying to keep up with an impossible schedule.

It should be ok, as long as they don't kick me out for being late with my homework. But then I have to wonder how long is it going to take to actually finish all of it? Am I going to have to come home from school at 4:30, work for two hours on school stuff, and then another two on homework stuff, for basically the whole year? And then there is always life stuff, paying the bills and doing laundry and shoving nutrients into my face hole. That means I would be doing nothing else. I would just be a work hermit, for I don't know how long. Months. That may be the most likely outcome of all of this.

Right now my only strategy is blind hope, and that's not a good strategy. In need information, on what's gong to be required of me and what the repercussions and limitations are, and then I need some kind of really good scheduling to figure out how to make that all work. And then I need to actually get my meat robot to obey my commands. (that's just one of my pet names for my body, including central nervous system.)

Anyhoo. I had some fun homework today that involved observing and writing my observations on an animal, so I got to go to La Jolla Cove and watch seals and sea lions play and sleep. Mostly sleep. there were other cool animals around too, it was a good afternoon. But here I am again at the end of my weekend, with a few things checked off my list and many more still to go. It's disheartening and frustrating. I keep trying to do more in the same amount of time and it's not working.

Well, this class at least will be ok. Perhaps I'm worrying about nothing. But in either case I really want to get more...what's the word. More efficient with my time.

OK, I'm exhausted, time for my sweet nightly reprieve.