I am quite a bit behind on my blogging schedule, so I'll do a second one now.
This is just a short experiment I ran last night. It ties in with the previous post, as it was kind of inspired by this feeling-directed, unusually effectively self-reflective mode of operating that I've found my way into.
When I'm by myself (such as this week, when Suzannah is visiting family in another state) it can be hard to get myself to go to bed early. This has always been the case, and the reason is almost always one of two things:
1) I feel emotionally unsettled, empty, or otherwise bad.
2) I'm doing something that I don't want to stop.
And #2 is often linked to #1, as stopping is made harder by the thought that, if I stopped, I'd be left with these negative feelings. Though this attachment or compulsion to do things that aren't really important is a whole other topic, which is again related to this overarching thing I've got going on (it would be handy to give it a name so it's easier to talk about, even if it's not sufficiently descriptive... how about... felt-sense based navigation and self-analysis. Not great but I'll go with it for now.)
So, last night, I just decided to try and feel out what a gentle, settling evening routine might feel like. I slowed down a bit, and would pause and take some deeper breaths, almost sighs, letting myself sink in. I was a little hungry, so I had some hot milk, which was actually really nice, that one's a keeper. I thought about listening to a book on tape as I got ready for bed, but when I thought about it (felt it out) I realized that actually wasn't so great, although it was enjoyable, it kind of... how to explain...it was like a pleasant distraction, but didn't actually soothe me, so as soon as I would stop, I'd not only go back to feeling a bit bad, but it's almost like there would be added negative feelings to it. Like water pressure building up because the outlet has been stopped. Instead, I just let myself continue to be present, take relaxed breaths, and enjoy the slow process of winding down. At some point, I think brushing my teeth, I did want to listen to something, but I felt out what would actually be soothing, so I listened to a very relaxing and uplifting spiritual talk, nothing deeply heady, with some nice background music. Almost a guided meditation.
And then I went to sleep, feeling quite good. Oh, I think I did a little journaling as well. It was nice!
I suppose the thing I'm figuring out here, is that letting my felt-sense guide me can be used imaginatively, to more accurately predict how various things will make me feel, in the future. Referring back to my friend Ben's idea about letting pleasure guide you, this seems similar. Maybe it's the same principle in action, with idiosyncratic surface differences.
I also wonder about Dan Gilbert's research
about how we are lousy at predicting what will make us happy. I wonder if this is either a different, more effective approach, or if it is still not doing a great job. I think it is relying on accurate felt-sense recall of previously doing something though, which makes me think it likely is more accurate, but perhaps limited, if what you are thinking about isn't like anything you've done before.
Alright, this post is also already long, and I've got more to catch up on, so I'll stop this one as well, and continue on to the next topic, in another post.
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