Friday, June 14, 2024

companionate love, mini vision quest, Travel!

So, this last weekend, I traveled to a nephew's bar mitzvah. It was maybe 5 times as much travel as it was actual time at the bar mitzvah and after-party, but it was really good food, and the nephew did a really good job. They obviously worked really hard, are really intelligent, and care about fairness and justice and such, if their speech is any indication. It was sweet. But it did mean I was having to write papers and read textbooks on plane rides and car drives.

That explains why I didn't remember to post a blog over the weekend. It was quite busy. It is immediately back to the grind as well. Just when I leave for the wedding it goes into overdrive as well, for the last few weeks. Looking forward to July 15th, when classes end and I get a few weeks of real rest. That is to say, time to scramble to do all the stuff I haven't had time for because of school work. Hopefully take an actual break in there as well.

Suzannah just made some amazing decaf coffee ice cream in a novel way: frozen decaf coffee, plus vanilla ice cream, in a blender. Apparently the blender can't handle the ice cubes well, it starts to overheat, but it tastes amazing. Quick google says you need liquid in with the ice and it should work well. I kind of want some now...

Lets see, what's coming up. Well, this weekend is just homework and prep for the trip, the trip itself will be mostly work, I may do a mini vision quest for my Nature Outdoors and Adventure Therapy class final project, and then I'll drive from my parents house in Connecticut to New Hampshire and celebrate my long-time friend getting married!

Currently reading (techincally listening to the audiobook): The Myths of Happiness, by Sonja Lyubomirsky. Interesting read, talks about hedonic adaptation (things that make you happy, or unhappy, you adapt to quickly, so dont' expect any external thing to make you happy long-term) and ways to avoid or mitigate it. I'm still in the beginning, but appreciation is part of it, enjoying what you've got, and adding little bits of novelty to your life. A

lso, most of the things you think will make you happy, won't, long term. You'll tend to just go back to your happiness set point. A great argument for not doing work that makes you miserable short term in the hopes that it will make you happy once you "make it". 

I suspect there is nuance to this, and having close meaningful relationships definitely does contribute to happiness and well-being. But relying on romantic sizzle is a bad long-term plan, apparently. Spicy love turns into companionate love, if you're lucky, but doesn't stay in the limerence fireworks phase forever. The myth that it does or should is just hurting people with unreachable expectations. Interesting read.

OK, that's all for this week. Though it's almost the weekend so I should be putting out another of these in a day or two, if I can stay on top of things.

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