Vibhuti

 One of my Sai Baba friends sent us some sacred ash that had manifested somewhere. Actually, apparently it's part of a mixture that they kept adding too, when they went to various places where it had been manifesting. When it starts running out, they mix what's left with some of the regularly created sacred ash that the Sai organization distributes occasionally. This was prompted because they are close friends and have been hearing about the trials and tribulations as Suzannah and I try to get pregnant. This is a first for me, as I've seen pictures with sacred ash (they call it vibhuti) that had manifested on it, even a picture that had manifested an 'amrit' substance that was like rose flavored honey. Apparently it had manifested in such quantities that they had to keep it over a bowl to collect it all. 

Running into those things really rocked my world. I had such an odd sense of cognitive dissonance. Something was happening, or rather, had happened, that was totally outside my experience and understanding of the world, how it worked. It was much easier to imagine these things were just being made up by the people who shared them, but that explanation just didn't tally with the facts. I am a fair judge of character, particularly when I've known someone for a while, and it was extremely unlikely that all of these people were making these things up. None of these occurrences, that I ran into and seemed real, were publicized in any way. It was in fact extremely hard to find them. It was only by talking to people and asking about it, that I was able to find them. There was no money involved, and there wasn't even a big hubub about them. And these were people of the highest moral caliber. The idea of any, let alone all of them lieing and intentionally deceiving people would be deeply bizarre. 

And the people who experience them pretty much universally don't put high importance on them. Love, service, and transformation of heart and character are the kinds of things they value, with the manifestations and miracles more just a confirmation of their faith. I can understand that perspective now, but at the time it seemed mind-boggling. The fact that the laws of physics and how the universe worked was being turned on its head and what that meant about the existential purpose of life seemed pretty important to me at the time. But looking back, I can see how it was more important as a calling card, something to draw me towards a source of positive transformation and good teachings, and to strengthen my faith in a very real, active, and benevolent God.

In any case, I never got any sacred ash to use myself. It seemed wrong to smear my hand on the pictures where I saw it. So having some now is a novel experience. Suzannah is taking a little mixed with water regularly. Can't hurt right? Nothing to do but wait and see.

Stump burning, Autumn weather, The double-edged sword of technology.

 So, today is my designated "do a bunch of small quick tasks to get them off my "to do" list. One of those tasks is by blog backlog. Looks like I've got about six, so I'm not going to do all of that at once, but maybe I'll do 2.

First off, it's finally getting cooler here. Amazing that it took till mid October for that. But I'm happy with this time of year. Not too hot, not too cold, but cool enough that the bugs are dying down.

Suzanna just tried burning a tree stump last night and it was pretty cool, it really worked, and kept smoldering overnight. We saturated the soil around it in a circle to make sure it didn't spread, and it had rained recently, and in fact rained last night, but not enough to put it out. In fact, I'm going to check on it right now... Yeah, still smoldering. It kind of reminds me of an incense stick, with the coals just slowly burning through the wood. In a dryer, more loamy soil, or with dry plant material on top, I'd be more worried, but we have green grass and clay soil, so the risk seems very low. And it tool a lot less energy and todo than using a big noisy stump grinder. Just a bit more time.

I feel like that is often the case: you can do things faster, with more advanced technology and more energy. But you can do it sustainably, if you're just willing to go slower.

I've been thinking recently, about how technology keeps promising to give us more time, by doing things for us automatically or faster, but then we just fill up our time with other stuff, some of which is generated by the technology itself. AI is not new, in this respect. I wonder if there is a way to make use of the technology that is truly helpful, without getting caught up in all the stuff that takes away much of the time it is supposed to give you back.

And some of the stuff it takes away is physical activity, which is not necessarily what you want to be doing less of. Being sedentary is not good for us physically, mentally, or emotionally. Same for being cut off from nature. I think it's possible to take the good and leave the bad, but it requires a lot more discipline, you end up fighting against your environment, rather than letting it shape your behavior naturally in a healthy way. Maybe this is an area for future jobs: designing technology and modern life in such a way that it encourages healthy behavior, rather than encouraging unhealthy behavior and disconnection.

OK, I'll end here and start another one.

One Perfect Step. ROCP. What is Behind My Obsession with Time? St(r)uck.

 I'm going to try and keep this short, but I just had a poignant thought.

After going through a deep design process for clarity around all my time stuff (wanting to use it better, more efficiently, etc.) I got down to the fundamental point that I don't care about time itself, but I care about it because I want to live a life without regrets. I want to live a life that feels deeply meaningful. (As do we all, or just about all, I would think). Therefor, I don't want to waste time. Time waste is life waste, as my Teacher says.

But that's not even the poignant thought, deep though it is. Having come to this clarity, it then followed that the most essential missing thing was having a clear vision of what a meaningful life looked like (and felt like) for me. I had, several months ago. I guess almost a year ago at this point, started a process with Jon Young (a very skillful and inspiring student/mentee of Tom Brown Jr., among other teachers he learned from) that he called "Renewal of Creative Path" (herafter ROCP). That was in essence skillfully attempting to uncover the answer to that question, along the lines of "what really lights you up?" but with many more elements and angles to it for depth and completeness.

I spent a lot of time on it, because it seemed so essential and important to me. And then, I ran out of time, and never finished it, ergo never got to actually use it.

Here I am, again reminded that the key missing piece right now, is that output from ROCP, and I'm st(r)uck by how my desire to "do it right/well" made the process take so long, that I never ended up finishing and being able to use it at all. A kindergarten level of skill and attention span would have been better than that, if it had at least produced some usable product at the end.

So, I'm rededicated to finishing it up, in as haphazard a way as necessary, to actually get it done and usable.

But also, it makes me reflect and wonder how many elements of my life have a shadow of that pattern in it: seeking perfection, and thus ending up with nothing, rather than accepting mediocrity, as the price for actual forward momentum. I need to remind myself, that I don't need to be perfect. Especially right away. Improvement can happen, as long as I'm moving forward, but if I'm paralyzed in place, waiting for that one perfect first step to reveal itself, nothing happens.

See my shpiels on 50 pounds of pottery for another perspective on this, and the importance of balance and common sense, along with Aristotle's vices of excess and deficiency, for cautions on taking this advice too far and thus making it harmful rather than helpful. (you don't want zero deliberation and planning before acting, you just want the right amount.)

Lawnmower Man, Detective Guy

That was a weird movie (Lawnmower Man). In any case, this morning Suzanna discoverd that a rock had been thrown through the back window of her truck. It is surprisingly visceral, how the thought that someone maliciously destroyed your property, effects your body. You feel it in your gut, like being violated somehow. We didn't know if someone was targeting us, or if it was just a mean-spirited but random act by some teenagers, but we tried not to let it bother us, while we waited for a chance to call the cops and have them investigate. But it did bother us.

Then when the cops came (which I assumed would just be them notating what happened and telling us these kinds of things almost never get resolved.) they looked at the rock, and a second one on our driveway, and noticed that they had chunks taken out of them, like they had seen before with lawnmowers kicking up rocks. Long story short, or I guess, pretty short story short, they talked with our neighbor, found out that he had mowed his lawn the other day, and that he had some landscaping rocks that were of the same type, and so it seemed pretty likely that they solved the case. I suspect it was satisfying for them, and it was a huge relief for us. having a broken window by accident feels way better than being targeted by active malice. Kind of interesting, how that goes. 

And perhaps taking the philosopher/psychology hat, how powerful a different it makes in one's experience, the stories we tell. We don't know for sure what happened, even now. the window is still broken. But we both feel way better, viscerally, just from having a different story we believe now.

I guess there are some practical elements associated with it: we were wondering if we had to take more safety precautions, get a security camera, etc., so it was a relief to not have to think about all that extra work. Still, the point remains, it's just a matter of what we believe, that changes one's internal state, and even physiological state, totally.

Awareness, Finitude, Groundhog

Hello. Not catching up, not falling behind. On Blogs at least. Back in the heat of the School semester, with way more I want to do than I have time to do. The solution is simple and in fact, inevitable: do less.

But I guess the question is, do I do this with acceptance and understanding, that I simply don't have time to do all the things I want to do in a day, that expectation is unreasonable, or with guilt and the feeling of pressure, that I SHOULD be doing more, somehow.

Clearly the former sounds better.

But there is at least a little bit more to it. While I definitely can't do all the things I want to do, there is still choice in WHICH of the things I do.

If I pretend that I can do them all, then I tend to do the more interesting or enjoyable things first, or just whatever feels good to do in the moment, with the assumption that I'll get to the other things 'later.' (and of course I don't).

If I accept I can get much less done each day than I expect, which things I do first becomes much more important, because it's not about which things I do first, it's about which things I do, at all.

The acceptance and awareness of that very finite reality, means I can make better choices, and better plans.

But I keep forgetting this reality. I need to remind myself somehow. Maybe a sticky note?

In other news: still have the groundhog. One of the too many things to do, is try moving the no-kill trap somewhere I've seen it come out of, so it can just walk right into the trap in the morning.

Good news: I got an internship site! Woo! And it seems like a good one! Triple woo!

Also, the weather is really nice. Good tempratures, and nice fresh smelling air. Also lots of fresh fruit from all the fruit tree's around.

Also, I'm reading the Sai Satcharitra in 7 days. One of my friends said that's a traditional thing to do when you're asking God for something. So I'm giving it a try. It's a fun book to read too. At least for me. Strange and wonderful. The miraculous stories of a saint.

OK, I should go to bed now.

May your life be full of light and joy and peace,

Isaac.

If you have less time to do something, you'll do it in less time.

 I do a weekly review, most weeks, where I go through my email, archive it, and make tasks out of the ones that have tasks related to them. And then do a similar thing with my calendar, physical inbox (where papers and mail and such go) my digital notes (from classes and projects and such) and my task manager.

It's really nice in that it makes sure nothing important falls through the cracks and I know what tasks and projects are coming up, and my various inboxes stay empty or manageably small. It's great, but it often ends up taking 2-3 hours. sometimes even more, if I've been traveling or super busy and things have built up. I also had all sorts of other nice things built into the review, where I'd go over my big goals and visions and core values and important reminders.

But I was feeling like I was spending too much time organizing my tasks etc. and not enough doing them, so I spent a while trying to make these weekly reviews take less time. I was getting it a bit faster, from an average of 2:30 hours to maybe 1:40, but couldn't get it below that.

Then I had the idea to MAKE myself do it in an hour. I set a timer, and rather than trying to do it "faster" I thought in terms of "I only have an hour to do this, so how can I do that?"

This approach won't work for all things, but it apperently works great for projects that tend to expand to take the time allotted to them. The last two weeks in a row, I've gotten them done in an hour. Makes me want to do a happy jig.

There are downsides. I have to be hyper-focused, so I don't get distracted by anything, and I create a lot of additional tasks, because instead of just doing it while I do the weekly review, I'm filing it away for later, so I can get the review done in an hour. So it's not perfect, but it's a lot better, and I'm pretty happy about that. Often, I finagle and try things out, hoping to save time and get more efficient, only to find it didn't make much of a difference, and I wasted a bunch of time, trying out something new.

This actually worked, and it has me wondering where else I can apply this principle. Where else can I set an artificial, doable but tight time deadline, to make myself do something much more efficiently?

Probably reading textbooks. Household chores. Maybe even my various projects in general. I'm looking forward to trying it out, but it's also exhausting, so I need to pace myself when doing it. It means I'll sleep well at night though.

I think there are some situations where that is not ideal though. When I'm being creative, or thinking deeply, or solving a hard problem, I don't want to be taking shortcuts or feeling time-pressure. Time pressure is more fight and flight systems, which leads to narrowed vision, less creativity and flexibility. Probably also why it can be exhausting. But perhaps like weightlifting, you need to exhaust yourself at least a little bit, so you can get stronger. As long as you also have enough rest factored in.

In any case, when quality and depth are not important, this seems like a pretty great tool.

-I Out

Shorts when it's cold

This is a short, because there is much to do. A story I shared with my volunteer class the other day, on the topic of making good use of your time. A devotee was sitting with a spiritual master, and asked how they could fit into the day all the things they were trying to do, when it constantly felt like there wasn't enough time. (I can relate, obviously, so this story is for me most of all, thus why I remember it, perhaps.) The Master asked, "did you eat today?" student/devotee "yes..." "did you use the restroom?" "yes...?" 'so then, you do have time, for the things that are really important to you. It is not a matter of not having enough time, it is a matter of priorities. If you really feel something must get done, it will get done.'

I don't know if those were the exact words, but that was the jist. It's making me reflect for myself: what are my actual priorities? Am I acting on them? Is there something I really should prioritize, that I'm not, and instead doing something easy or fun or that has a false sense of urgency or importance? An interesting question to ask oneself. 

(And yes, I know it's important to have fun, play, and rest sometimes as well. I do plenty of that, I don't need help with that, so I'm not focused on it. Though I could probably stand to focus on more high-quality forms of rest and play, that give me more bang for my time buck.)

And that's my short for the day, though it is conversly time to pack up my shorts for the season, since it's finally getting cold now. Though it's in that transition period, where it goes from the 40's and 50's at night, to the 70's during the day, so it does get hot by the afternoon, in the sun. But I'm not going to switch to shorts partway through the day.

Oh, did I mention the groundhog? Suzannah set a trap, but no luck. It triggered it the first night but didn't get caught, and has left it alone since then. We may need a different approach, like the groundhog stinkballs to discourage them from hanging out under our shed.