Cat cuddles, blood tests, and spiritual detailing

 I was busy last weekend, so this is for that.

I enjoy cuddling with my cats. I hold them in my lap, or on my shoulder, for Ume who likes to jump up and perch there. Or lean down and nuzzle and pet them when they're hanging out on the couch. It's a special moment to appreciate each other, and something about the sound of purring right up against your ears is very soothing. It's also a nice way to know they love me back. 

I also enjoy cuddling with my wife. Nobody would have known it (except me) before I got a girlfriend, but I'm very much a cuddler. I like physical contact, if you subscribe to the "love languages" idea, one of mine would be physical touch. I'm just taking a moment now to reflect and be grateful that I have the option for that now, in my life, after really not having it very often, for many years. And gratitude that my wife is also a cuddler.

In other news, the spiritual retreat was great. It really feels like taking my care in to get washed, detailed, and tuned up, where the car is my physical, mental, and energetic bodys. I would like to remember to make such occurrences happen on a regular schedule, maybe 4 times a year, as I'd be much happier that way. Maybe two big ones, in summer and winter, and two smaller ones, in fall and spring.

I'm not trying to get as much done as I can in this intervening week, before we leave for a little getaway together. These weeks of vacation are precious time, that won't be available once classes start up. Though hopefully I'll be a little better at homework triage this next semester.

It's not all work though, it's also precious time to connect with friends and family, again, while I have a little more space. Though at some point, it gets as full as when I had classes, with all the things I'm trying to cram into it, and I don't want that crowded feeling during my vacation times as well, so I'll try and keep it mellow.

One of the things I'm trying to get rolling is stuff for my health. I've finally connected with a really good doctor, and am starting to set up appointments for a thorough set of tests, something I haven't had time to think about for a while. From there, I can start working on my health, both preventative, and hopefully also actively, to boost my energy and focus.

That's all for now!

Take care, be well, cherish your loved ones,

-Isaac

Preparations. Velocity without hurry.

 A few days of chilling, and now it's back to working with focus. But now, it's working on stuff that's (mostly) non-school related. Cleaning the house, preparing for spiritual retreat, taking care of odds and ends. I'm grateful for the time to do so. Cleaning while listening to books on tape, catching up on various important to-do's, with focus but without rush, feels quite nice. I want more of it. And I'll get a bit more of it, I think, during the rest of the break, before classes start up again.

I leave early tomorrow morning, so I've got a fair bit of time sensitive stuff to do for the trip, and some things I want to get done before the trip, so that's what today looks like. Then I'm off to get my spiritual batteries recharged. Maybe a general tune-up.

I'm hoping I'll get my course syllabi soon so I can start reading ahead a bit to get a head start on course work while I'm relaxed and time-rich.

Speaking of which, it strikes me that being time-rich, once basic needs are met, seems even better than being money-rich. And perhaps even rarer. And even rarer still, is being aware of how precious time is, and using it well and with proper savoring and enjoyment.

OK, I'm off to the races.  But not too fast ;-)

-I Out

Essential.

 Well, I did it. I really did. I still have a final draft of a paper due Friday, but I've submitted my semi-final draft into the writing center for an edit, and there's nothing more for me to do now but wait, and then do a not-too-long final pass once I get it back. Even if they say there's a lot of work to be done, I really don't care, I'm just going to do a quick editing pass, change things that really have to be changed.

I'm pretty clear that I want to do counseling, but I continue to be iffy about the how. Part of me wishes I'd chosen the other, more expensive counseling program. The teachers I've had have been very mixed, and the classes themselves have been very mixed. But honestly, I just need the certification. I'll have to learn to be good, on my own. Or better, find someone who can be a good mentor for me. And I've got a few people I can think of that might be willing and able to do that for me.

What I've really got to worry about is getting a decent internship, since that really will be an opportunity to learn a lot, along with a good supervisor. I should probably start looking around for that now.

I don't think counseling is unique in this respect. In any field you go into, there are people who really care about being excellent, and then there's a lot of people being good enough for most things, and some barely acceptable people. It's not the school you go to, or your schooling, that makes you one or the other. It's how you approach your work, how much you strive for excellence.

But man, I find that disappointing. It's been my pet project for a while, to create education that actually follows good pedagogy, along with good common sense, and good humanity. There is such a dearth of it. And I think it's because everybody is going 150 miles per hour with their hair on fire, trying to prop up a falling down burning building, that nobody has the bandwidth for the careful consideration necessary to think through and implement these things in a good way. It's all just bandaids. Maybe that's what's going on with our whole government. Everyone is moving so quickly, they keep making things worse, and feeling like they have to move even more quickly.

I'm currently thinking about a personal philosophy that I want to call "Essentialism" about doing what is really important, and putting a cap on all the other stuff. A limit. Not wasting time, money, energy, etc. This is not a new idea, nor is it my idea, but it feels like an important idea for me, for now. And probably for a lot of people. Our consumer, more is better, rush culture is making us all sick, making the earth sick. It doesn't lead to lasting happiness or satisfaction, it seems to lead to emptiness and waste and anxiety and depression.

What does make us happy is love, connection to others, time to savor and feel gratitude, being of service, using our gifts, being in nature and relation and reality. And yes, play, and creativity and beauty. But that doesn't have to be gotten via having lots of stuff.

As I sit in a room full of stuff that is waiting to be organized, I am made extremely aware that the having of lots of stuff comes at a steep price. It takes away your time. It takes away your peace of mind. It takes away your attention.

It's not a good idea to try and 'do all the things.' Because your time is limited and non-replenishable, and there is not enough of it to do all the things. You can only do a very few of the things. So rather than just going down the list, trying to do them all, it would be better to single out the most important ones, and do those first.

Do what's important, and let go of the rest. Have what's important, let go of the rest. I think that's kind of the idea of essentialism for me. 

"Important" is a very nebulous term, and the actual practice of doing this in a good way seems like something that could take a while to figure out. How to decide what's important. How to do this in a way that brings joy, and isn't just another way to feel shamed or like something is wrong with you or like you need to give up all the things that make you happy.

I'm pretty sure there's already a book called "essentialism" so maybe I add a subtitle to give a bit more meaning. Maybe "Essentialism: practical philosophy for joy and peace" or something like that to give the flavor.

In any case, I'm not really trying to sell anything, this is the philosophy and practice that I want to integrate into my own life, for my own joy and peace.

-I Out

Crunch Time.

OK, this one is for this week. I'm in serious trouble. I have a LOT of things due over the next week and a half. Two papers, a video recording, and two presentations. I rage at the lack of pedagogical intelligence. Maybe I should be a college professor so I can 'do it right' or else have some compassion for how hard it is to 'do it right' in practice.

In any case, that is my life for the next week and a half. Though unfortunately it's also when I need to figure out my healthcare, so I've got at least one non-school thing that I don't have the option to ignore. And there are various ongoing meetings and responsibilities that keep requiring time every week and I can't just pause until I'm less busy. But as much as possible, I'm cutting out anything extraneous. Including long blog posts.

Hopefully when I post next it will all be over and I'll have a chance to relax and decompress.

Love,

I

Thanksgiving, gratitude, love in action. Short one.

 OK, I'm writing this Monday Nov. 27th, which is a week late for this post. But I really don't have much time for blog posts, let alone two. So both these will be quick.

Thanksgiving: Suzannah was amazing, she was working full throttle for two days straight, and a fair bit of time before that, cooking, organizing, cleaning, to get things ready. I really admire her dedication to family. All that she was doing was, I think, a kind of gift to her family, creating space and time for warmth and togetherness. Other people cooked stuff as well and contributed, but she really did the lion's share. I'm glad I had the week off from school so I could help and support, because it was a lot.

I think it's good to admire your partner, so I'm grateful I've got a partner I really admire. She's got a big heart and puts her values of love and family into action.

It was nice to get a little break from school. Though I probably should have been working full throttle on the assignments coming up. Now I'm in trouble.

That's all for this one I think.

-I Out 

Time and recreation, positive and negative.

This week feels a bit like just continuing a line that was already started previously. Working on papers, reading textbooks supporting a friend. It's been a bit lighter on papers, so I've had some time to clean things up a bit in the house, have some fun with Suzannah, and finish assembling IKEA stuff. It feels very nice. I would like more please.

That said, after I finish this, I'm going to go back to paper writing, due this weekend, and then classes until 6:30, followed by more paper writing and classes tomorrow. However, it is a step down in busyness from the previous few weeks, so I'm grateful for that.

I was just reminded this morning about the eureka moment I had a while ago about time and hurrying. I'd kind of forgotten about it. The feeling of working diligently, with focus and intention, but without hurry, rush, or worry. Calmly sitting down and focusing on what needs to get done, right now.

Last night, I almost checked out at 7pm, doing something I'd call a waste of time, because I was tired. However, before I got started on that, I read something spiritually uplifting, and it changed my mental and emotional state enough, that I instead started working on a pleasant, low-brain-power task I'd been meaning to work on for a while. It was satisfying to do, and at the end of it I'd made a big dent in the task. This strikes me as a great way to get a lot more of the stuff I want done, done.

It falls under the category of "the problem is not having too little time, but too little energy." Meaning often, I realize that I have time where I could be doing tasks I've decided are important, but I just can't bring myself to do them, at the end of a long day or long sprint (multiple days of hard focused work).

The solution, at least in this case, was to shift my internal state enough that I'm willing to do something productive but easy, rather than unproductive. Sometimes a simple change in the type of work being done, can be rejuvenating. Or, the type or rejuvenating activity I do can be something I also consider productive. I think the simplest example is doing something creative, rather than passive. Passive is watching TV, creative is writing something, or making something, or learning something, or fixing something, or helping someone, etc.

So, I suppose we will see shortly if I am able to lean towards doing that more often. It seems possible.

In other news, my slightly less busy schedule has given me some opportunity to tidy up the house and I love both the process and especially the outcome. It's so nice living in a clean environment. I'm not there yet, but I'm closer to that, and even that feels loads better. And is inspiration/motivation to get me to do more.

That's all for now,

With love,

I Out

Less papers. Life. Journey before Destination.

 Still thinking about my friend, and how to support someone who is going through grief. It's a tricky situation. You don't know what to do. They don't know what to do. They're not in a position to sit down calmly and think about what to do, so it seems like the onus falls on those of us who care to educate ourselves in how we can be genuinely supportive and not end up making things worse while we try and make them better.

Life is hard, man. But also touching and beautiful and full of love and joy and goodness sometimes.

I think I'm getting better at it, year by year. But there are always new challenges to meet, and so I need to remember to make the journey itself better. It can't just be all about when you finally arrive. The present is the only moment you will ever have, so the practice of making good use of it seems at least tied for most important thing.

Two papers to finish by Monday, but this is a lighter week: I'm already on the final draft, with feedback on the larger paper, and the second paper is just a simple reflection on some readings.

Next week is another big paper, and a second, medium sized paper, but the week after that is NO papers. Woo! I can get a leisurely start on the final papers and presentations, and maybe do something fun and non-school-related.

(Note, "journey before destination" is cribbed from one of Brandon Sanderson's fantasy series, though the idea itself is cribbed from philosophy/spirituality.)