A story of Devala

Devala has a lot of really good stories that he has lived, so I couldn't call this Devala's story. But it's one of his, and I wanted to capture it somehow. I thought, rather than sealing it away in a note somewhere, I'd share it, because I think it has some good lessons to teach.

I talked about my dear friend and spiritual brother in my last post. He has a lot of interesting features, but the two I'll mention here for context is that he has a really strong emotional immune system, by which I mean, he is almost always in a generally good mood, and even when really bad things happen, he tends to get over them quickly. The second is, perhaps related, he doesn't seem to have much filter between knowing that something is probably a good idea to do, and doing it. If he thinks it's a good idea, he tends to just do the thing, and not ruminate, vacillate, or procrastinate. I would actually call this simple habit/way of being a simple but very useful superpower, and if everyone had it their lives would probably be way better.

Since this is a semi-public forum, I'm gonna leave out some of the more personal elements of this story, thought they would probably  make for an even more engaging one.

So, several years ago, One of Devala's closest friends suggested he take his love of researching and writing about Vedic and Hindu scriptures and such (also other things spiritual and esoteric, and even historical. Quite a wide range, but especially the Hindu realm), and start posting on Quora, using what had been dubbed by that friend "Deva-pedia" to answer people's obscure questions. He gave it a try, and really enjoyed doing this, and so it became one of his main pastimes. Researching and answering questions on these topics. He was prolific, and good at this. Over several years, he actually got a significant following. This was not a job, didn't pay anything, it was just what he loved to do. His day job was fine, content management, technical writing, at one point earlier on pizza delivery. Then he lost his job, right as the tech industry was utterly bombing, and found it near impossible to get another job that would pay enough. There were other elements of his life that went topsy-turvy around the same time, and he found himself living in his parents house, applying to (I think) literally hundreds of jobs, without success, over more than a year. He was looking for a job with a certain baseline level of pay, and then looking for a place he could live that had a high Hindu population, first on the list being Chicago, for that very reason.

One week, as we were chatting on the phone along with another friend, he mentioned that, at the suggestion of another friend who had done this, he was considering just moving to Chicago, without a job secured, and just making it work, going door to door looking for work and starting with a worse paying job and spartan living accommodations, that he would then work up from. We had often had conversations about his job search, sometimes we'd offered ideas and suggestions for finding work, and often Devala had already tried, or was doing, those suggestions. He was not resting on his laurels.

In any case, as he talked about this rather risky leap of faith, it reminded me of a quote I'd heard, that had stuck with me, though I had to look up the name of the source. It goes like this:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets:

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”

― William Hutchison Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

If memory serves, we talked about this twice, one week, he was considering it, and the next, he told us that he had decided to do it. That's when I shared the quote.

We don't have an exact timeline, but it was somewhere between later that day, and maybe 3 days later max, that a friend he had made, via his Quora presence, alerted him to a job opening they'd seen: the job was not website management or search optimization or technical writing, but literally researching and writing about Hindu stuff. Pretty much literally what he had been doing, unpaid, for years, on Quora, just because it was close to his favorite way to spend his time (at least when he wasn't playing with friends.) He applied. He got the interview. He got invited back for the second interview. He got invited back for the third interview. As one of his weekly (online) friend groups, we were on the edge of the seat, rooting for him each week, trying not to get our hopes up too much, but thinking, "I really hope he gets this, this is his dream job, he was made to do this job, this is better than anything he had been planning on doing or applying for previously." But we didn't want to expect anything, because it was so good, it would be such a let down if he didn't get it. And there had been previous times he'd gotten an interview or two, but eventually, it hadn't worked out.

He had even started thinking about going back to school. He had researched the best paying, most employable jobs that didn't require a long stretch of schooling, and picked from the top few the one that sounded like the best match for him. But, he admitted to us, perhaps during the same conversation, staying in Oregon felt kind of like he was stagnating, even doing the schooling, which would have kept him in Oregon for another 2 years, was starting to feel like he was wasting his time. Thus his impulse to just move to Chicago, trust the universe, and deal with the difficulties of a lower paying job and rudimentary housing, as he continued to network and search for a more sustainable job (meaning, something that actually met his minimum salary requirements he'd be happy with), while there.

By the 3rd interview, he had mentioned that, though he was going to move to Chicago regardless of whether he got the job or not, if he did get it, he was moving almost immediately. Well, he sent a message saying he would be in town next week, because he was moving to Chicago. And when games night came around, we all collectively cheered, when he confirmed it was because he had gotten the job. One of the interviewers had even met him previously for a short time, when they were both in Hawaii, and she admitted to binge-reading his Quora posts before the interview. Those posts clearly showed he was the perfect match we all knew he was, and he got offered the maximum from the salary range they had posted, right off the bat. NOW we could all throw our hats up and cheer.

I think this story is really dang moving for several reasons, one of which is perhaps personal to me and his other friend, who are all cheering for him. But additionally, he worked really hard. He did his thing where he didn't shy away from hard things (getting rejected over and over as he applied to job interviews), he kept learning and trying new things (rather than phoning it in) and going outside what would be most people's comfort zones, repeatedly (though I don't think it was actually outside his, but that's his emotional immune system I'd guess.)

And then, he did that William Hutchison Murray thing, he took that first step, he began something that certainly would have intimidated most people, when it felt right. He decided to move, without a job already set up. It would have been hard work and not comfortable living, for an indefinite period of time, without any certainty of success. He began it, certainly with boldness, and ultimately, it did seem to have magic within it.

As I talked with Devala about this, he added an important point, which was that in the end, it was his continual dedication to doing the thing he loved, researching and then sharing his knowledge with others, that ended up getting him the job. He had just been doing that, for years, because he loved it. That was where he met the person who mentioned the job to him (but he had been putting out that he was looking for a job, doing his own work) and it was pretty much certainly the vast volume of high-quality work that he had put out over the years, for the love if it, and as a service to others, that got him the job in the end.

I don't know about you, but I find that all pretty inspiring.

"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now"

Indeed.

Next time: Story! Autumn comes. A welcome change of pace.

The leaves are starting to change colors, the wind has a hint of coolness and fall in it, even when it's still hot in the sun. Classes have started. I am officially only taking two, and it feels way better. I don't feel like I am required to neglect my non-school duties. Which I did feel, when I was doing 3 per semester.

I want to take some classes on the vision quest with the teacher who ran my first few vision quests, but I don't think I can get away from classes for the week or weeks I'd need to be away, to do it. I'm a little torn, after hearing about Tom Brown's passing, I'm worried that this teacher, who's around the same age, will also pass on before I get a chance to learn about the vision quest, from him.

One of my dearest friends passed through Fairfield, on their way to Chicago. It seems like their start is on the ascendant. I kind of want to tell their story, maybe I'll do so in this blog. It's a good story. I think it has some teaching lessons imbedded in it.

In any case, he's a scholar of Vedic/Hindu things (among others) and so I got to ask him a bunch of questions about what the Vedas say about various things, like the nature of enlightenment, superpowers, and reality. It was a thought provoking and uplifting conversation. He feels like a spiritual brother to me, so I'm always happy to be with him, and also happy that things seem to be coming together for him in a great way.

I'm a week behind on these posts, so I think I'll finish this one and the next one will be his story. Just a short version, It could be longer, but I want to at least capture the highlights.

Caught. Thirsty. Not overthinking.

 Alright, I think with this post, I'm all caught up.

I really need a drink.

Time to get the cats anti-flea + dewormer medication that I glorp onto their back where they can't lick it off (they have really flexible necks and really want to lick it off, so this is challenging finding the right spot, beyond just holding them down long enough to get it on them.)

Ahh, wow, water is so good when you're really thirsty. That's probably a good sign I've been sitting for too long.

This is one of those times, where I sit and think, like I've forgotten something, trying to think of what to say, because something doesn't feel complete yet. But I think my lesson is, if I can't think of it, then I'm done, and that's ok.

So, goodbye for now.

Hmm. Saying goodbye is much more poignant, after having said it to someone who died the next day. It's a reminder, that though unlikely, that could be the case with anyone you say goodbye to, or don't talk to at all, today. A good reason to always speak kindly with people.

Anyhoo, I out.

Love and good to all of you.

Love in Action.

 I'm not going to a spiritual/wilderness course this week. I was vacillating about it for the last week, trying to decide what was the right decision.

I think this is the main or second to main reason why (the main one just being my felt sense of rightness):

I've done a lot of intellectual learning, and taken a lot of classes, even really well taught classes that really integrated experience and practice into them. But all that has to be balanced with practice, action, doing, in life. I think the ratio is maybe 80-20, with 80% being the actual practice and only 20% the learning of new things. I've leaned really heavily on the learning, because I love learning and am good at it. Good at being a student.

But what is really needed for advancement and mastery, is practice. I don't need to go anywhere for that, I just need to do it, and filling up all my time with classes and trying to learn new things, can end up meaning there's no time for that necessary practice.

One of the translations of the Yoga Vasistha that I've read, and many other good sources of spiritual knowledge I've run across, harp again and again on the idea that enlightenment, and, frankly, everything else, comes from your effort alone. Even though the grace of God is also needed, so they say (and makes perfect common-sense to me), that part is out of your control, and so not worth worrying about. Except to put in the effort necessary to earn that grace, as is possible. 

Even though enlightenment can never be achieved through the mind (again, as the books I've read on it and saints I've listened to say, not being enlightened myself), it still takes the activity of the mind, to remove the problematic elements of the mind. I love the saying, "it takes a thorn to remove a thorn." For this idea.

So, in any case, I am trying to simplify down my life, and consciously choose to take action on the things that are most important. That means focusing on my own practice. I've got plenty of information already. It's like I've been reading lots of books on how to work out well, going to courses that show me how to work out well and give me some practice, but ultimately, unless I'm in a course all year long, I need to learn how to work out, regularly, on my own, as part of my life. So, in service of that, I am continually trying to say no to extra things so I can focus on taking action around the few things that really matter to me.

I don't need to go somewhere and take a class to do that, I just need to do it.

I was thinking about titling this "just do it" after the nike thing, but apparently that was inspired by the last words of a death row inmate, so I thought, maybe not. (I wonder if that is actually true, maybe it's fake news, but if so it fooled all the major news outlets). Instead, I'm thinking of another phrase that's more uplifting, "love in action." I didn't come up with it, but I like it a lot. The love part is really important, actually, as it's easy to get too intense, self destructive, other-destructive, and unbalanced, if you don't add that into the mix. So it's a good catchphrase for focusing me on what I need to be working on these days.

I wonder if I'm caught up now?

Amma, Mr. Rogers, Role Models.

 Just a quick catch-up post: I went to see Amma (Amritanandamayi) in Chicago over the weekend. It is such a blessing to be in the presence of a real saint. the atmosphere, the energy, is recharging, inspiring, transformative, just to be in. I love just sitting there, watching her give absolute attention and unconditional love to person after person. I love learning about all the humanitarian efforts and activities she does for people, I love seeing a person who is so totally unselfish, who's whole life is about giving to others, who is so moral, integrous, honest and good.

There is so much greed, lies, duplicity, selfishness, in our world. Even in the spiritual field, or religious field, where you want it to be all about goodness and service and truth, there is so much two-faced stuff, so many self-proclaimed gurus or religious leaders, putting on a show, looking at making money or earning fame, saying one thing and doing another. Commodification of spirituality. Use of religion to justify hate and violence and alienation and power and control. It is easy to become deeply cynical, and assume that is all there is. It is really nice to be reminded that it really is possible to be a deeply good person, without a secret dark shadow side. Amma does that for me, Mr. Rogers does that for me. There are other good ones as well, many, and I'm grateful for them existing in the world, but I suppose you could say they exist along a continuum, of just how selfless and surrendered to God they are, how benevolent and impeccable, and Amma is right along the furthest end of that spectrum.

It's an inspiration to know it is possible. And even though I intellectually already knew it, to be reminded of it, concretely, right in my face. 

And to have a role model, no matter how far removed from where I currently am, to aim for. Someone I can observe in their minute, minute by minute interactions with other people and begin to absorb and learn to resonate with their energy and way of being, at least a tiny bit.

Juice, Life, Time.

 I had already canceled part of my trip, I'm now canceling the rest. It was a hard decision, but I think I should be here for Suzannah, I think travel, especially plane travel should only be done when it's really important, as it affects the environment, and I think I have so much to do, I really need to stop adding more things to the mix and start working on the things that are already there.

As I've mentioned before, I realize I'm not going to get more hours in the day, or be able to do things much faster, so my only hope of having more time is to do less stuff.

There's more to it. Not getting distracted. Not taking a long time on something that only requires a short time. And more than just doing less, being really conscious and deliberate in what I do choose to do.

Moving faster when appropriate is a part of it too. I am slow.

Thinking less as well. I seem to have a tendency to do a lot of thinking. I think that is one of my gifts, sometimes, but it is also sometimes inappropriate, unnecessary, a symptom of FOMO (fear of missing out) or procrastination, instead of being useful problem solving, deliberation, or creation.

I have a pretty simple overarching goal right now, but it is deeply complex and challenging. I just want to end my day, with the knowledge that I really squeezed the juice out of it, used my precious time, day, life, well, and can go to sleep without any regrets. If I can do that day by day, then that will build into a life that can end with that feeling as well. A day, a life, well lived.

I'd say, when I was younger, in a scale of 1-10. I was living a 2-3 generally. My days not well spent, my life not well spent. Now, I feel like I am kind of at a 6. For a while, it was a 5. right in the middle. Not badly spent, no deep regrets, but also, not great. The feeling that there could be so much more. Now, it feels like I am just starting to peek into that possibility. Just beginning to touch something that feels deeply satisfying, meaningful, in my life, day to day, as a way of living.

Trying to move into that more is like trying to push through a rubber barrier or something. It requires continual focus, effort, pushing against my own inertia, both physical and mental. But it is intrinsically deeply rewarding as well.

In the Indian cosmology, time is a form of God. My awareness of time makes me grateful for each second I have, and makes me want to honor that gift by making good use of it.

Spring ahead, fall behind. Legacy of love. Wake.

 I'm noticing that despite my intention to catch up on these, I think I am actually continuing to get further behind. And this is during my off weeks, when I supposedly have more time. What does this mean?

- maybe being off my normal schedule means that my normal habitual things don't get done as regularly

- maybe I just have a habit of trying to always pack too much into the time I have, and it doesn't matter if it's 'vacation' or school.

- maybe I really want to get some specific things done during the break and so other stuff is falling by the wayside even more than usual.

- maybe something else that I haven't identified.

Suzannah's aunt passed last Friday. It's been hard on her, both emotionally, and just in terms of organizing the funeral service and various related things. I've been trying to be a support for her, as she is kind of a support for the rest of the family. Many other friends have come out to be supports as well, it's really touching to see all the love she has around her. It is understandable, I certainly think she's wonderful, and so it's no surprise other people do as well. But it's nice to see. 

Likewise, it was nice to see all the support and love from people, for Joyce (that's the name of Suzannah's aunt that passed). She was also a really lovely person, who never wanted to be a bother, was patient, was accepting, was soft spoken and kind. She also was wonderfully creative, and had several rooms full of paintings, quilts, and other things she had created over her lifetime. And she had some traveling adventures as well, kind of breaking the mold or expectations one might have for her. I think I would be happy if I had as much love and beauty left behind me as she does. 

It makes me want to make sure I do so, with my life, while I'm alive. And makes me think about how I want to do so. It won't look like how anyone else does it, so what does it look like for me?

At the same time, what I most want with my life is to have used it diligently for what I believe the purpose of life is, which does not require leaving a legacy, though a life well lived, seems likely to leave a positive impression on the world. I suppose there is still a part of me from my childhood that wants to be a superhero and save the world, or fix it, but another part of me is trying not to be attached to the fruits of action, per the advice in the Bhagavad Gita. Though part of that advice is so one's action can be more effective. It is a real riddle, sorting out how intensity and non-attachment can co-exist, but I'm sure you want both.