At my sit spot (or stand spot, as the case may be) this morning, as I was doing my routine, which involves gratitude, introspection, my vision and steps to achieving it, and surrender. As I was standing, basking in the morning light and birdsong, I noticed an incredible creature. It was probably a worm, but like none I'd ever seen before. it was about as thick as a pencil lead, around ten inches long, mostly dark grey, with both ends a lighter yellowish white. It was very vigorous, squirming around a lot, climbing up a pot onto a strawberry leaf, moving partly by thrashing around. At first it looked like a pea tendril in a time-lapse clip, and I thought maybe I was seeing some kind of fast moving vine plant (not beyond possibility, venus fly traps move fast enough to capture bugs.) How cool our world is.
Then, as I went for a super short walk, just down to the end of the block, I saw an SUV drive by, and it wasn't until after it had gone that I realized it must have hit a squirrel, because there was a squirrel on the road, in the wake of the car, thrashing around but not walking or running anywhere. It was kind of heart breaking, and I couldn't help being a bit angry at the SUV, wondering if it was carelessness that had killed the squirrel. I prayed for the squirrel to find peace, and by the time I opened my eyes, it had stopped moving.
It's been a full day. I also wrote, shot, produced, directed, and acted in a brilliant pop-art/neo-impressionist piece about the nature of desire. Not really. I'm being silly. I just made a super simple and very odd (and I think hilarious, but my sense of humor is odd.) little video that had popped into my brain at some point and entertained me enough that I didn't forget about it. I thought it should just take like, a half hour to make, but you know how video editing goes: it's always about four times as much work as you think it will be. At least until you're a pro. Then you know ahead of time that it's going to take four times as long as it should, and maybe it only takes two times as long.
I'll save that for later. Gotta space out my posts. Because... um. Why do people space out their posts? I guess I'm doing it because I assume people are intimidated by long posts and would prefer shorter ones, in the same way that a quadruple decker sandwich is just too big to be convenient for consumption.
Though I think the main reason it's a more popular format is because people trying to sell you things want you to develop habits of consuming their object/media, and training people to come back to your website for the next little food pellet over and over again builds in that habit more strongly.
This is one of the reasons I prefer to consume my media in occasional all-day bursts. The hope is that by doing so it is less habit forming and results in less overall time spent on such things. I don't know if this is actually the case.
But it does make me think strongly of facebook. That website is a drug. Those of you who are getting here via my facebook posts (most of you? I have no idea what the demographics on that are. As far as blogger is concerned I get 0-4 page views max, so I think it's a bit broken. I know for a fact at least 6 people read my blog.) Anyhoo, ahem:
Facebook is a highly addictive drug. I recommend avoiding it as much as possible, if you value your time, or if you do not want to be addicted to things. This is probably true of lots of forms of social media.
It sucks coming up for air and realizing you've just flushed hours of your life down the drain thanks to the glowing screen in front of you.
I know how difficult it can be to overcome addictions, so you have my deep compassion, if you are an addict. The first step is recognizing you have a problem. I think?
Speaking doing things you know you shouldn't be, I need to stop writing and go to sleep.
Still not finished with my apartment room cleaning/organizing. But getting close. So close. There's my addiction right now. Or perhaps obsession would be a better word. Two of my teachers/mentors, both named Tom, have said that, to get really good at something, it is useful to have a degree of focus bordering on obsession. There is just something so satisfying about it, for the control freak in me. I do stuff, and I see an immediate improvement in my surroundings. I am confident in my ability to succeed. I am bringing order and beauty from the chaos, and I am discarding excess baggage, simplifying my life, approaching the zen purity, beauty, and simplicity that I find so aesthetically pleasing. And if I can wrangle it down to a small enough size and order it properly, I can keep it organized moving forward. That's the real motivating vision that I am striving for. Finally having a living space that is clean and neat, and stays that way, rather than exploding days or minutes after being cleaned up.
Good night!
-Me
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