Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Stay Crunchy. Organization as a fun pastime. Defeating insomnia with brute force.

It's a bit late! In the week I mean. It's not late yet at night. Still working on the early bedtime thing. I think I'm earlier than at least 80% of people, but still a bit away from what I'd like. I'd like to go to bed early enough that I can get up at 5am. Not because I'm a masochist, but because I love having my morning to meditate, remind myself of my goals, pray, exercise, get important focus intensive work done, and such. it feels really good to do all that first thing. It's like I've gotten a jump on the day and no matter what else happens, I've already accomplished the most important stuff.

I've been thinking that in order for that to happen, I probably need an evening routine as well. Something that sets me up for success getting into bed and feeling relaxed and settled enough to go to sleep at the right time. If I find myself having problems going to sleep (usually not a problem) I know I can just start on the other end. a few days of getting up at 5am no matter when I went to sleep and I stop having problems falling asleep, I've found. I don't have big anxiety problems though, in general. Anymore at least. I used to have pretty big insomnia/falling asleep problems. My mind would just keep going for an hour or two after the lights were out. I'm not sure what eventually worked, though I could guess. But I've been working on myself from so many different angles and methods it's hard to pinpoint sometimes, what it was that changed things. Though I know I discovered what it felt like to fall asleep instantly after my Scout class where I was in a kind of survivalist spiritual boot-camp for a week getting 4 or so hours of sleep a night. I feel like I just kind of crushed my insomnia through sheer brute force, and since then it kind of maintained that shape. Though I was pretty out of it for a while after the class. Sleep deprivation is an interesting thing. And it's interesting how much bigger the human bodies limits are than we think.

Anyhoo. I've been pretty good about exercising regularly  most days, especially when Suzannah is around. We go jogging in the morning for about 15 minutes, and it's really ideal: it's much easier to do when you have a workout partner, and we also get to feel good that we're helping the other be healthy as well. Sometimes we do indoor stuff when it's really cold. I'd like to increase my workout time to at least 30 minutes a day though, but that's not happening in the morning unless I get up earlier.

I need a paper handling habit. I have an overflowing inbox and sticky notes all over my desk, and more sheets of todo's spread across my desk. The disorder gets to me subtly. It's just not pleasant to sit down and work. I'm not sure how to create a system that will work for me though. I've started on a couple different systems, trying them out, but none of them stuck. I'm not sure if it's a matter of the systems not being a good fit, or my method of adopting them was ineffective, or if it's just a big time investment to learn and turn a system into habit no matter what, and I just don't have the extra bandwidth to do that these days. But it's starting to get up there on my priority list, so perhaps it will happen soon.

I know it will happen at some point, because it's a goal I have and I'm pretty good at eventually achieving my goals. But the lower priority one's can take a while, when there are so many.

I fantasize about having the time to work on this (creating a good organizational habit-set) and when I do it feels like leisure or play time.

OK, that's all for this week. Stay toasty. Or frosty. Or crunchy. Whichever you like. (that link goes to someone rocking a song I like, fyi)

-Isaac

Monday, January 20, 2020

A creative project idea for the future

alright, second post of the day, though I suppose it may appear first, because of how posting works, arriving at the top and then pushing the next entry down.

I was thinking about how, through my obsession with personal development, I've gathered an almost gross level of information, tools, techniques, stories, systems, etc. And because I'm a proponent of putting what you learn to use, I've given most of them at least a cursory try, and many of them an in-depth working-through. I think I've become quite good at identifying the better systems and teachers, and it gives me a kind of big advantage, going through life, having all these tools.

I really, really want to share them with everybody. Many of them are extremely useful, and it's so sad that people don't know about them, but really, my kind of mania is rare, and most people don't get obsessed with self-help, spiritual growth, and scientific literature made commonly accessible on performance, growth, and happiness. They don't have the time to read it, or the motivation to keep trying systems out until finding one that works well. Or continuing to search, looking for even better systems and tools.

I do have that obsession. I love researching this stuff, trying it out, noting its effectiveness, noting the traps and pitfalls associated with learning the different tools.

I also like talking about it, thinking about it, and, though I don't do this much in this blog, drawing little funny and informative comics about it, and my personal experiences with it. I think I could create something of benefit to people if I combined my obsession with my love of trying to boil down and explain things simply and my sense of humor and free, unselfconscious, quick and amateur art/graphics. Comics are scientifically the fastest, most efficient way of disseminating information to people. They are cheap to make and reproduce, and they include a mixture of graphics and words in a way that evokes the human love of story and reliance on visual information. (the back lobe of our brain is mostly about visual processing.)

I've decided this is on my checklist of things to do, once I have a bit more time. Which will certainly not be any sooner than the end of next summer, and may be significantly later than that. But the idea fills me with joy and mirth, so it's definitely on the list. It's an intersection of so many of my greatest passions, it would be a shame to not do it.

I suppose I should give a brief news update? Not much new to report. I got extremely sick for a few days last week and am still in the slow process of getting better. That throws me off my normal schedule because I'm getting as much rest as I can, which means no super early mornings where I can get in all my normal routine things. I have to abbreviate during work days and eat into my daytime during weekends.

I'm very happy to have this three day weekend. It really does feel like a huge gift, just to have an extra day to catch up on errands. I've mentioned how I don't like traditional vacations, but I deeply crave a month or two for a work vacation, where I catch-up on all the to-do's that have been sitting around in my "someday maybe" list for years.

As I get better at my efficiency and focus, getting more work done as I go along, it makes me fantasize about the day when I don't have the huge backlog, and can spend more of my free time learning and practicing skills I want to learn, or working on creative projects, like the above mentioned one.

Anyhoo, love and blessings to you, dear friends and family, and a courteous hello, to the random curiosity seekers.

The Game of Work

Two weeks a gain, so I suppose I should do a two-part-er. I wonder why the frequency has shifted? I've been busy all throughout, I'm not sure I believe that I'm more busy now. Though it feels like I continue to get more and more busy.

However, there is finally a mitigating factor that I've started working into my life. Previously, at the end of the day, or during a weekend, I felt like I needed a break from work. I was so exhausted that I just couldn't get myself to stomach working straight through the weekend as well.

Currently, I'm working (successfully!) on re-framing the weekend and evening work I have to do, as a game. It's my productivity and growth game. It feels good, to get stuff done. So I've kind of made a game of it. It stops being a drag and becomes a puzzle or challenge like in the games I love so much.



I was just listening to/watching a video/podcast from one of my favorite self-improvement guys, and he mentioned that one of the big differentiators between people who are happy and those who are not, is the ability to put your attention where you want it, when you want it. Of course, there is a genetic and environmental element to people's ability to do this, but the good news is it is also very trainable. I'm having fun training it, putting my attention on the work that needs doing.

I'm not sure if you've noticed this, but it's usually the getting started that is the hardest part of chores and work and stuff we're procrastinating. Once we're up and rolling, it's not such a big deal. It's rarely as bad as we're vaguely imagining it to be. That also helps me get started on the work. But the turning it into a game is the most powerful re-framing for me, since I like to use games as a relaxation and rejuvenation activity. Thus, doing different work does end up being rest for me.

I also read that learning something new is more rejuvenating that the traditional activities we associate with "taking a break" on the weekends, like watching TV or just 'hanging out.' Perhaps I'm missing some of the details of that study, when you look at the science it's rarely as clear cut and impressive as the self-help-guru's make it sound, but still, I find that very interesting.

My next step, I think, is getting better at prioritizing which to-do's I'm doing, more rigorously. Right now, I tend to grab them seemingly at random, unless there are some that are time sensitive. But even among the non-time-sensitive one's, I think there are some that will give me more bang for my buck in the long run. I sometimes sit down and write out what I think those are, before getting to work, so I suppose I am already starting to implement that, but especially at the end of the day or when I'm trying to do something productive over the weekend, I tend to default to easier to-do's. Something that will give me a quick win, that I can feel good about completing and immediately see the results of. I don't think that's a bad thing. You can't always be doing the most difficult things, sometimes you have to match your energy and brain-power to the tasks your doing. I like to start off with he most difficult things, and then switch over to easier things, once it's the end of the day and my brain is less sharp.

There is a whole other discussion, about deep work, and how we can only do about 4, maybe 6 hours of really intense work in a day, that's tied in with the highest performing people, but that's a talk for another day. in any case, writing this blog itself was one of those 'matching the task to how I'm feeling' choices. I just felt the urge to write, so I let myself switch to that task. It feels a bit like a luxury, but since it's the weekend and my time is my own, I thought I'd treat myself.

I'm entertained that I've made some work into a 'treat' for myself. Again, framing and re-framing things is a powerful tool. Your perspective has the power to totally alter your experience of the very same situation. It's unfortunate that so few people know how to really use this tool.

This makes me think of the topic for my next blog post. Perhaps I'll go write into it.

Monday, January 6, 2020

Freeing yourself from distraction

alright, obviously a lot of people read the last post I made, which means the numbers of views I'm getting are generally accurate? That is a relief, actually. The thought of lots of people reading my blog is actually a bit unsettling. It's easier to imagine I'm writing for a small audience of close friends.

In any case, I don't have anything to top the last post. I don't suppose I will for a while. It would have to be something like, "I'm pregnant!" to top that.

I'm back to teaching, and at least for a little bit, I have the new found vigor of someone who's gotten some rest, distance, and inspiration. I've been working on overcoming my addiction to distractions. I think society has this addiction in general. In any case, I've been working on it, and it's been working. I felt like I had so much more time this weekend, just because I was spending very little of it on distractions. I was working, or spending quality time with loved ones, connecting or playing. It feels so good to be getting so much more done. This is something I've struggled with for years and years.

I'm not sure if it's a matter of the previous stuff I'd done "loosening it up for ya" like people say when they're trying to open a stubborn bottle, or I've just over time found the things that work the best for me, but I really started noticing a difference when I began doing this with the Cutting Ties method. I'm repeatedly surprised by how effective that method is. It seems so humble, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say. FYI if you want to give it a try, I'd recommend finding someone who knows how to do it and has been doing it for a while. I got the books and tried it out myself, but it really started to shine when I met up with someone who had done that work for years and years, and walked me through it.

OK, That's all I have time for this week, goodbye all, thank you for your kind wishes in regards to my big news ^_^
and I'll talk to you later,
-Isaac



Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Big News

Ok, so I just finished spell checking the post for two weeks ago, this next one is for last Sunday.

And I'm writing it on new years day. It has been quite a year. I think perhaps the biggest news is something... something that this blog was made for. I write posts weekly (though lately it's been two posts every two weeks. Perhaps a symptom of not having a lot of large chunks of time for secondary pursuits.) but really this blog is to keep friends and family updated on what's going on in my life. The big sea changes that happen to all of us bit by bit. But there's not something big like that every single week. Most weeks, there is the less hit-you-over-the-head, more subtle things going on: the areas of my life I'm working on improving, the things I'm learning, the things I'm pondering. But this week, there's none of that little stuff (actually, there's lots, there's always lots. but there's no time to talk about it.)

I got engaged. I asked, in my own sweet, silly, spiritual, thoughtful way, and she said yes. It wasn't a surprise for either of us, we'd been talking about it for a while, I'd actually made several plans for occasions to ask her (which she guessed at right off the bat. We're pretty transparent to each other 😅) but it never ended up working out. But it happened just when it should. It was Christmas Eve (also a night of Hanukkah, if you want a Jewish angle on it) I'd love to go into all the details, but it also seems kind of private. Those details feel like sweet little secrets, that perhaps I'll reveal bits of, when I talk about it with friends and family in person. I don't think it was like a traditional engagement is supposed to look, if your writing a commercial. But it was really good, for us. It reflected us, our dynamic, what we care about, how we are with each other.

I suppose I should give a name at this point. I asked her if it was ok and she said yes, and she's certainly telling people as well. The mystery girl, who is probably not a mystery for 90% of you, is Suzannah Schindler.

I'm so grateful for this relationship. I didn't think it was possible for a relationship to be as good as this one feels. I thought that was total fantasy. But it keeps being that good, over and over. Being with her feels easy and comfortable like being with a best friend. She loves doing things that I also think are fun. And we have fun doing them together. We deeply appreciate each other and let the other person know that. When tension builds, we have a 'keep'n it real' session, and just being open and honest with each other turns emotional distance into deeper intimacy and appreciation. And she makes me a better person. Happier, more playful, harder working, more focused. My heart is softer and more full of love. I make better choices. I've said she's like salt or sugar, she makes anything I'm doing, better.

And stuff comes up, as it does in any relationship, but we are both considerate of the other person, even when triggered, and we are both willing to put in the work, to make the relationship work, to keep it growing and fresh. To work on ourselves, when there's something not working. I have such admiration for her, in many ways, but that way often stands out especially bright. Nothing is certain in life, I know, but I feel like we've got everything we need, to create something wonderful that will last, and continue to grow, for a lifetime.

I feel so blessed, over and over in my life. I've been given so much, continue to be given so much. What can one do, when faced with such overflowing giving coming from Source, from God? When given so much, it feels odd to be asking for even more, but one more thing stands out in my mind, driven by the gratitude:

please, help me give something worthwhile, to others. Love and gratitude have been poured into me, and now the cup is running over. The natural impulse of a heart full of love is one thing: love more. How can I share this grace, this light, with others? Not specifically being engaged, or even in a romantic relationship. Just, love, and light, and grace. In any form. The form almost doesn't matter, in specific. It's the current of love, that matters. It seeks to express itself. It seeks to share.

And I know all to well, there will be more up's and downs, times when I'm exhausted and not feeling the love like I am now. I want to know how to stay in that grateful flow, even when the hard times abound. Because the abundance and love are there even then, and it seems like the least I can do, for all I've been given, is not to stop being grateful for too long, when things look a little cloudy. Considering how much I have been given, I should be bowed down on the ground 24-7 in overwhelmed surrender gratefulness. If I'm spending some of that time up, walking around with a sour face, how am I ever going to meet my gratefulness quota? ;-)

With gratitude to you, my friends and family, and gratitude to God, to the High Consciousness common to us all, for everything that I've been given. May I be able to reflect back to the universe all that I've been given, and treat it with proper reverence and joy and respect.

Happy New Year! This one's gonna be a big one for me  ^_^

idiosyncratic vacations, stuck aa's and broken teeth

I am now running behind again. It seems I've unconsciously switched to a bimonthly rather than a weekly schedule.

I kind of don't like 'vacations' in the traditional sense, where you go somewhere nice, sightsee, eat out at expensive restaurants, for a week or two.
Why:

a) it get's me off my normal routine, which is probably good for me every now and then, but I like my routine. I get up early and do all the things I want to do right in the morning, and it makes the rest of my day way better. Not doing that is clearly less enjoyable. I get less sleep and lower quality, I get less exercise, and I get less done, even if I'm trying to get stuff done

b) that reminds me, I also don't like getting nothing done. I enjoy creating things, I enjoy checking things of my todo list, the sense of accomplishment. My ideal state of being isn't super lethargic, it's high intensity focused work, that meets me right at the level where it's challenging, but energizing, rather than draining (which likely has a lot to do with the kind of work and the feelings surrounding the work, beyond just the quantity). There is definitely a 'too much work' and I've been there for a while, but there's also a 'too little work' and that's just as bad. Though when I'm in my sweet spot, there are also moments or days of pause and rest, because it is a fairly high level of activity.

c) most "vacation" activities don't appeal to me. Eating expensive food until you can barely move feels awful. Most of the really expensive restaurants are serving meat based things anyways. I hate most tourist-trap type activities. I don't like being in crowded places. My idea of a break is a spiritual retreat or a class where I'm learning something interesting or relevant. I like being in nature, but there's not a lot of money to be made in that, it's fairly DIY, so you don't get too much of that in touristy, vacation-y spots. You might go on a tour bus of somewhere natural, but someone is talking to you and you have to keep up with the group etc. I do like hiking or camping, or just chilling, in nature, but I can only spend so much time doing that, if there's nothing else to go along with it, like learning about wild edibles or practicing awareness exercises or meditations.

there are certainly things I do like doing, during "vacation" time, but they don't look like most traditional vacations. Or if they are, it's a greatly abbreviated time frame for that kind of stuff, which would make it unfeasible. You're not going to fly all the way to disney land for one day there.


In any case, I din't haave a normal vacaation, I did my practice teaching, and it was excellent. I think I've raved about the teacher enough, but I never cease to be amazed. She does basically everything I want to do, as a teacher, and does it really well. And runs two schools. And volunteers as a national (international?) teacher and coordinator for an awesome positive values based education program. And she doesn't seem stressed out of her mind, she seems relaxed and energetic. I want some of that! :D

I had a day to explore Austin with my girlfriend, and then got back home, and proceeded to get back to work, a bit at a reduced pace. I managed to finish my... what was it... 40 or so item checklist of the homework assignment that's due at the start of summer classes, but there are a bunch more little things that also need to get done. However, I've got some basic maintenance stuff that I'm going to have to take care of first.

aa) my keyboard is on the fritz. the a and t keys are acting up. apparently this is a known issue with certain recent MacBooks so much that I can send it in to be fixed for free. I worry they won't be able to reproduce the issue though, since it doesn't happen all the time, just once I really get going, aand then only some of the time.

b) aan old filling came out! Or rather, broke, apparently, since fillings don't just "come out." according to my dentist. I'm far away from my beloved dentist though, so I'm having to try someone new. He actually helped me look (he's a super amazing dentist, I want to do a post just on him some day) for aa dentist near me that looked promising, and I'm about to head off to them... right now!