Hello.
A few quick tidbits from the week:
- New finding: even if you're telling little kids who are upset at being corrected, that you love them just the same, and are not mad at them, the simple fact that you are talking to them about it for longer, seems to make them get more upset. New strategy: just move along, move along. These are not the droids you're looking for.
- Frustration: time management is challenging.
Possible insight: Focus and priority management is much more effective than "doing things quickly." It's the continual "squirrel!" moments when I get sidetracked by some interesting but non-essential to-do that makes the important stuff not get done, even when I'm not doing obviously procrastinatory things like netflix.
I'm going to get this, eventually, and then it will be glorious.
The awareness of decisions and how choosing to do one things means I'm not doing any of the other things continues to be better motivator and willpower fuel that whatever I was doing previous to that.
- I now can make an awesome and healthy salad dressing. Did it twice. I just need a blender and about six specific ingredients.
- I see the potential, in my future (perhaps somewhat far in the future), to feel confident enough with classroom management that coming in to school is like an improv dance where the art created is beautiful human lives. To put more specifically and less poetically, I realize that I have a pretty good sense when something is not right, and what is exhausting is when I don't do anything about it and/or don't know what to do about it.
- I'm working on... I don't know what to call it but self-denial. I know that's almost sacrilegious in our permissive hedonistic culture, but it's super necessary for success in any big endeavor to be able to say "no" to all the little distractions and cravings that would blow one hither and yon off the path one has set out on.
The Bhagvad-Gita likens it to the chariot driver who lets his horses run wild and drag the chariot wherever they decide to go. The horses are the senses. The chariot is the body. The charioteer is your mind. Mind needs to direct senses for a safe and fruitful journey, not be a slave to them.
I'm trying to practice this, and it's really hard. I keep messing it up, forgetting, giving in to temptation. The Gita offers consolation, basically saying, 'yeah, your right, it's really really hard. But you can do it. Don't give up hope, keep at it.' And I am. And 'm getting better at it. Slowly. And I'm getting more done, with less drama and procrastination, as I get better at it. But I'm still a looooong ways away from being an expert chariot driver.
Onto something else...
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| Helped with bags. Missed train. Worth it. |
A pondering:
"How you are with one thing is how you are with all things."
This sounds powerful, wise, and true, and it is. But it's also wrong.
How it's true: how you approach what you are doing, right now, be it large or small, is a microcosm of how you approach anything. Not only is this descriptive, it is prescriptive, in that if you stretch yourself, right now, whether it's doing the dishes or making a series of emotionally and intellectually taxing decisions non-stop for hours on end, your actions, your choices, create a story about yourself that self-reinforces.
Are you someone who goes the extra mile and makes the difficult decisions and doesn't eat that last brownie? It's not a yes or no answer. You are creating the answer, in this moment. If you put off the difficult choice until later, and take the easy path, telling yourself that tomorrow you'll make the difficult choice, then the story you are creating for yourself is one of procrastination and excuses. Tomorrow never comes. It is always today.
Now, how it's wrong (this is more nit-picky, but serves as an example for a point in a previous post, namely, even good wisdom requires you own common sense to guide it's interpretation and application):
We have proficiencies, habits, and though these may appear to outsiders like we are exerting incredible willpower and strength to do certain things, internally those things do not feel effortful. Maybe you have a spotless house, and other people think you're super disciplined, because they imagine how difficult it would be for them to maintain that level of order. But for you, it is a neurotic obsession, and not having the house super neat is like nails on a chalkboard, or perhaps, cleaning is like your drug, your escape from the serious issues in your life that need to be dealt with.
Practically speaking, in this area of your life, you're really together. Moreso than with things that are not easy and habitual. These kinds of things are the exceptions to the aphorism. These special proficiencies don't mean you're really together in all of your life. (Who is ever together with all of there life?)
"How you do..." refers not to external results, but the internal feeling and process that is going on. Are you leaning into growth, or are you coasting? You can be very successful in the world but internally still be coasting because you are smart and/or you have a bunch of good habits/obsessions.
It's like that wonderful quote, not sure the original source which I'll misquote here,
'Others see your deeds, but God knows your heart.'
You can give food to the hungry, but what is the feeling and intention behind that? If it's so that you can put it on your college application, or brag to your friends, it's worthless. Perhaps even poisonous. The intention and feeling behind the act are what determine the outcome. Give because you love, because you feel compassion, because service without ego is a way to purify and uplift you.
In any case, "how you do one thing is how you do all things" is an appeal to lean into your life, lean into growth, now. With whatever you're doing now. I guess right this second, you're reading, so there's probably not much spin to put on that. But think about what you're going to do right afterwards. Is this just going in one ear and out the other? Another bit of wasted time online? Or are you going to ask yourself the golden question, the always fresh query: "what's the best thing I could be doing right now?" and then go do it?
I suppose you could also add (though it is kind of implicit within the first question) "how will I do that thing?" Meaning, what feeling would be best to have behind it? Are you doing this as selfless service? Out of love? Out of your passion for a dream, a purpose, beyond self? Or out of some less bright reason? Fear, self-loathing, anger, etc.
Don't coast, is my recommendation. It doesn't feel nearly as good, as alive, as when you are leaning into your growth zone and giving your talents to the world. This can take just about any form, from writing a book to being a good listener to pumping gas. This is not about peddle to the mettle, super hardcore workaholics. There is the opposite side of coasting, which is... grinding, I guess I'd call it? Life is all about balance. neither too little nor too much. Too much is almost as bad as too little. Sometimes it's worse. I talk about too little because that happens to be my tendency. This is just about being in integrity with yourself.
"What is the best thing I could be doing right now? What would I do if I loved unconditionally (yourself as well as others)? What act is in integrity with my soul's compass?"
Go on, do it. Start now.
"How you are with one thing is how you are with all things."
This sounds powerful, wise, and true, and it is. But it's also wrong.
How it's true: how you approach what you are doing, right now, be it large or small, is a microcosm of how you approach anything. Not only is this descriptive, it is prescriptive, in that if you stretch yourself, right now, whether it's doing the dishes or making a series of emotionally and intellectually taxing decisions non-stop for hours on end, your actions, your choices, create a story about yourself that self-reinforces.
Are you someone who goes the extra mile and makes the difficult decisions and doesn't eat that last brownie? It's not a yes or no answer. You are creating the answer, in this moment. If you put off the difficult choice until later, and take the easy path, telling yourself that tomorrow you'll make the difficult choice, then the story you are creating for yourself is one of procrastination and excuses. Tomorrow never comes. It is always today.
Now, how it's wrong (this is more nit-picky, but serves as an example for a point in a previous post, namely, even good wisdom requires you own common sense to guide it's interpretation and application):
We have proficiencies, habits, and though these may appear to outsiders like we are exerting incredible willpower and strength to do certain things, internally those things do not feel effortful. Maybe you have a spotless house, and other people think you're super disciplined, because they imagine how difficult it would be for them to maintain that level of order. But for you, it is a neurotic obsession, and not having the house super neat is like nails on a chalkboard, or perhaps, cleaning is like your drug, your escape from the serious issues in your life that need to be dealt with.
Practically speaking, in this area of your life, you're really together. Moreso than with things that are not easy and habitual. These kinds of things are the exceptions to the aphorism. These special proficiencies don't mean you're really together in all of your life. (Who is ever together with all of there life?)
"How you do..." refers not to external results, but the internal feeling and process that is going on. Are you leaning into growth, or are you coasting? You can be very successful in the world but internally still be coasting because you are smart and/or you have a bunch of good habits/obsessions.
It's like that wonderful quote, not sure the original source which I'll misquote here,
'Others see your deeds, but God knows your heart.'
You can give food to the hungry, but what is the feeling and intention behind that? If it's so that you can put it on your college application, or brag to your friends, it's worthless. Perhaps even poisonous. The intention and feeling behind the act are what determine the outcome. Give because you love, because you feel compassion, because service without ego is a way to purify and uplift you.
In any case, "how you do one thing is how you do all things" is an appeal to lean into your life, lean into growth, now. With whatever you're doing now. I guess right this second, you're reading, so there's probably not much spin to put on that. But think about what you're going to do right afterwards. Is this just going in one ear and out the other? Another bit of wasted time online? Or are you going to ask yourself the golden question, the always fresh query: "what's the best thing I could be doing right now?" and then go do it?
I suppose you could also add (though it is kind of implicit within the first question) "how will I do that thing?" Meaning, what feeling would be best to have behind it? Are you doing this as selfless service? Out of love? Out of your passion for a dream, a purpose, beyond self? Or out of some less bright reason? Fear, self-loathing, anger, etc.
Don't coast, is my recommendation. It doesn't feel nearly as good, as alive, as when you are leaning into your growth zone and giving your talents to the world. This can take just about any form, from writing a book to being a good listener to pumping gas. This is not about peddle to the mettle, super hardcore workaholics. There is the opposite side of coasting, which is... grinding, I guess I'd call it? Life is all about balance. neither too little nor too much. Too much is almost as bad as too little. Sometimes it's worse. I talk about too little because that happens to be my tendency. This is just about being in integrity with yourself.
"What is the best thing I could be doing right now? What would I do if I loved unconditionally (yourself as well as others)? What act is in integrity with my soul's compass?"
Go on, do it. Start now.
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