Spring Awakening

 Spring Awakening

I think there was a play by that name. I don’t recall any of the specifics, but I think it was supposed to be kind of weird. Didn’t see it myself, just heard about it.

In any case, last night, I took a walk around the block, and was floored by the gentle beauty of the spring sunset. A strong but warm breeze, all the new leafs just starting to grow out, a colored sky, and a sense of peace. I was just allowing myself to take time to enjoy, and it opened something in me that had been shut down a bit. The ability to enjoy and love doing things. I felt like I got back in touch with that a bit. It was nice. It reminded me that there were, are, things that I love to do. That give me deep satisfaction.

Ultimately, I’d like a job where I’m doing something I love, that uses my gifts to be of best service to the world. I think that’s what I was trying to do, being a teacher, as I thought that was the most important job for the world, perhaps tied with being a parent. But then, just recently, I came to the conclusion that being a teacher is not a good fit for everyone, and didn’t seem like it was a good fit for me. At least a traditional teacher. I do like teaching, but there are a lot of other things I’m really not a fan of, that are required to be your standard classroom teacher. I have deep respect for the people who can do this, but I don’t think I’m a great fit for that position. So I need to get a clear sense of what the things are that I do love to do, so I can then triangulate how I can get paid to do those things, and how I can do those things in a way that utilizes my unique gifts to best effect in serving the world. The first step of that, I think, is getting clear on what I love to do. So it’s nice to see that getting started.

On the other hand, I’ve just been confronted with the truisms of “happiness isn’t doing what you like, but liking what you do.” And the idea that no external things will bring you lasting happiness. However, as I like to come back to, the example of my relationship, and my friendships in general, are a clear counterpoint. They very simply make my life better. Maybe not every second, but on the whole. And nearly everything is at worst a net neutral, while the vast majority is a plus. I think having a job I like is a similar category. I think it will make my general experience significantly better. I can’t rely on it for lasting happiness, but it’s ok to ask for and get.

I suppose the point to remember is that ultimately the game that’s going to get me the most important things is the internal game, the spiritual journey, which can happen no matter the outer circumstances.

OK, that’s all the time I have, bye for this week!

-I Out