Why is this break different from all other breaks? (on this break we eat only Matzah)

 So, what's different this break? I'm not 100% sure. 

One of the things the book I'm reading mentions is how bad we are at explaining the reasons behind our hunches, (unless we are an expert in that field) and how in fact, trying to explain them can make them much less accurate, as we then try and match our actions to the reasons we've given, which is no longer making use of the unconscious super-computer brain system of ours. For example, maybe you just get a bad feeling about someone you met. But then you either a) try to explain it away rationally, and don't listen (and the hunch was correct) or you try and put a reason to why you feel that way, like "he chewed with his mouth open" and then start judging other people who chew with their mouths open, as bad, even though you are not getting an actual hit from your subconscious pattern recognition apparatus. Even just switching from intuitive non-verbal "right-brain" feelings and intuitions, to trying to explain it with logic and words, tends to reduce peoples accuracy and ability to access accurate information from their subconscious.

There are other factors that can interfere as well, aside from going verbal and logical, but that is one of them.

All this to say: I'm gonna do that, and take a guess, but I don't know if my guess is actually relevant to the change I've noticed. 

But the change itself is this: I've been more focused on my tasks. I've got a list of the things I'd like to be working on, and instead of, say, binging an anime, or going down a rabbit hole fiddling with non-important projects, I've been working on the tasks I've written down, to a fair degree.

It feels a bit like discipline, or sense controle. Directing my attention and actions where I want them to go, according to my deeper values and priorities.

This is way better than in the past, when I'd have a break, get really excited about all the stuff I was going to get done, and then either totally goof off, of go down deep, deep, unimportant rabbit holes for hours and days.

One thing that I think is probably related, is I have a nice curated list, of small-ish, but important, projects, that I want to get done. It makes it really easy, when I'm feeling low energy and low brain-power in the evenings, to still have things on a list, that I really want to get done, and that I can do even when not at my sharpest.

In addition, after finishing a task, I don't have to just wait for some immediate cue to direct me on to my next one, I can go back to my list and see what I've decided is most important, when ranked against all my little tasks that I could do. (in general. I don't have them numbered, just generally grouped in terms of "do soon" "do after that" and "maybe never do")

However, I've noticed an issue with this: while it's quite satisfying, and does get a lot done, it tends to neglect the bigger tasks I need to do. I avoid them in favor of the low hanging fruit. I can hear the ghosts of productivity books past wispering in my ear: "break those big projects into at least one, small, immediate next action, and put that on your list instead, to reduce the barrier to entry." And that may work, in some instances.

But I think some of the tasks just need numerous hours of sitting and working through it with minimal interruptions, and so I need a different strategy, like blocking off a good sized chunk of time in my day, ahead of time for just working on one of those types of important projects.

In any case, always room to improve, but already, it feels like a great improvement. Continual progress being made, rather than occasional. Momentum, and focus. And feeling good about how I spent the day, at the end of it.

Oh, one other thing that might be helping with that: I write down all the things I did accomplish, throughout the day, so I have an artifact at the end of the day, proving to myself that I actually did a bunch of useful stuff. Seems unnecessary, but I tend to forget most of the stuff I do, and then feel bad at the end of the day, wondering what I spent all that time on. This lets me feel a bit more accomplishment, which is itself a motivator that then gets me doing more stuff. Also, if I really didn't do much during a day, that's good to know as well.

OK, gonna stop catching up on blogs for now. The other thing the list does, is create an subconscious kind of motivation for me to be frugal with my time. I look at the list, of all the meaningful or important things I want to do, and then the less important things get put into proper perspective. Maybe I still do some of them, but I spend less time on them.

Other uses: when I'm between tasks, or I need a break where I'm doing something physical, I can look at my list and find something important and chore-y which uses my body. Or if I only have a few minutes before my next appointment, I can choose something short.

And importantly, I've always got the things I need to do, that are coming up soon, at the top of the list, so I don't let important things slip through the cracks.

I think the main issue is that the system doesn't work well with the big intensive long projects. At some point I want to install the habit of a deep work time-chunk, where I only work on those big tasks. But that's a new habit to instal, so I have to make sure there are no other big habits I need to work on more urgently. Though come to think of it, perhaps that is a good one to do...

No, I think first I want a "get up early" habit, so I've got a nice morning chunk, to do that deep work in. And for that to be sustainable, I need a 'go to bed early' habit, so that's the one I need to focus on to start with. But keeping that longer term goal in mind: a good, regular chunk of time where I work in big, important, maybe creative, projects, is good motivation for doing it.

OK, that's all for now, probably not another one till the party is over.

All the best,

Isaac

Partys, Projects, and Being Old.

 What else... well I suppose the big thing coming up is my birthday! I'm going to be almost 40. I'd be alarmed at how old I am, but I basically accepted that I was a fossil some time around 28, and I've had the mentality of a cranky old man since I was in single digits, so it doesn't really feel like a surprise. Not to mention I'm always thinking about my own inevitable demise and the utter uncertainty of when it will be, in an attempt to spur myself on to using what life I have in a good way, particularly the present moment (which is all any of us ever have).

In some ways I feel like my whole life is a dress rehearsal for my death, so that when it comes time to leave I can do so without a gnashing of teeth and fear, but with a sense of acceptance, gratitude for the life I had, and satisfaction with how I used it. Not there yet, but getting there more and more.

I've got a birthday party coming up, that is a lot of work and energy. I'm trying to make it a ritual that is meaningful, and gives something back to my dear friends and family, who add so much richness to my life.

And I've got a few projects I was trying to get done during my break between classes, but it's looking like that's not going to happen, since classes start back up next Monday. It will be less intense than last summer, since it's only one class, but I still don't know how much I'll be able to get done while the class is going on. We'll see. There's also a bunch of travel, which will make it more difficult to get multiple big projects done or moved significantly forward. There tends to be a certain amount of time and focus needed, to bring a project to completion, and when my focus is split too much, it seems not to happen. I'm working on it though, and definitely making some progress, in how I approach these things. (The main improvement recently simply being "stop trying to do so much stuff.")

On the plus side, I've been really productive so far, this break, and it feels like a whole different pattern from usual. But I'll save the rest of that for my next post.

Uncle-ing Sprint Conclusion, Blink, Appearance vs. Content

OK, things are simmering down a bit. I just had Suzannah's sister's family visiting for a few days, and so I was on full-time uncle duty, which is rewarding but also exhausting, so yesterday was basically recuperation. They were only here for two days though, so I gave them as much of my time as I could. 

And before that was cleaning up the house to make it presentable for company, a concept I am familiar with, but in the same way I've heard about cultural customs in different countries. If I'm having somewhat over, The only cleaning I'm doing is to clear things off of surfaces so there is a place to sit and put things. What you see is what you get. Which is not terribly messy, but I've always been a content guy, more than an appearances guy. But Suzannah very much wants a clean house for guests, so I'm helping.

This makes me thing of the book I'm currently listening to, which is making a point that appearance affects the experience of content. Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell. He talks about marketing researchers that found the packaging foods are in significantly affects people's perceptions of the thing in the packaging. Not surprising, but not something I think about every day. I'm listening to the book because I had a dream where I was part of a book club on it, and the dream had some other elements that made it impactful. So, two months later, it's off the waiting list and I'm going through it when I have time.

Which is less than previously, as I've discovered I'm unfortunately less efficient when doing chores while listening to books on tape. Sad, as that was my main opportunity to listen, so I'm still doing it a bit, but I'm also trying to get a lot done, so often I'm just really focused on, say, cleaning dishes quickly. Especially tasks like cooking that require a lot of focus for me because they are far from automatic and require paying attention to inputs like sounds and sights and smells and careful timings and some off the cuff problem solving.

Hmm, I have a lot of these posts to write to catch up, so I'm thinking I should end this one here and just start another one for my next train of thought.

Though I've kind of rambled, so I'd like to give some kind of concluding wrap up. I'm really into the book, it relates to my 'navigation by felt sense' idea I've been playing with, as well as some other experiences with intuition, especially from Tom Brown Jr.'s courses.

May Birthdays

 Another short one, because I can, and to keep up. I'm in spring break, but I'm not lazing about. There are lots of things I want to get done, and I'm working through them as best I can. Sometimes breaks seem even more full, because there is no schedule, and I can try to do too much, in my euphoria of having free-time. I'm trying to keep it focused this time, and maybe half succeeding? Also, it's beautiful spring weather, which I'm really enjoying. cool breeze, dappled sunlight, not many bugs yet, getting to know a Cardinal pair I'm calling Romeo and Juliet, which I think might be building a nest right behind my morning "sit and enjoy nature" spot, in the Japanese maple growing there.

OK, off to the next thing (which is a fun thing. Board game with friends! Actually, dinner first. But then!)

Also, May is full of birthdays! Happy Birthday to my Mom, to Dylan (a friend from college) and tomorrow, to Ted!

I've been listening to a book called "Give and Take" by Adam Grant, and he mentions that people tend to like other people, places, things, that share some quality with them, such as part of a name, or an unusual hobby or interest. I suspect that is what's going on with my collecting of May birthdays. But in any case, it's fun.

See you next time!

-Isaac