Thematically related to previous post: I had a conversation with myself, where I was talking about how frustrating it was that another person wasn't doing something. Then I realized I wasn't doing that thing. So I started doing that. And let go of trying to control the other person. Now I'm happier and in a better place to support that other person. There's a quote about that, probably from a Zen monk or something. It sounds Zen. It's, "Attend your own lectures."
It's very often true. If you find yourself giving advice in your head to someone, double check if that advice isn't better delivered to yourself. Usually it is. Even if it would be useful for someone else, you have no control over what they do with it, but you have supreme control over what YOU do with it.
Also useful for keeping oneself humble. If it's such good advice, or so simple to follow, you do it first.
If someone else is stressed out, and it's stressing you out, and you want them to stop being stressed out so you feel better, you should probably figure out how to deal with our own stuff first. Once you actually have, the other person being stressed out is a moot point, and again, you're in a better position to be of actual help to them.
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