Spring, birthday, garden.

 I need to write more posts, so here's a short one that's more of an update than a musing: the leaves are fully out now, spring is in full leaf, the early flowers have bloomed and dropped, the weather is warm and sunny and delightful to be outside in (as long as you are in the shade, or out during sunrise or sunset.) So far the bugs haven't been bad at all, which is a huge blessing here in Iowa, where mosquitoes and biting gnats are the norm. Not sure if that's because of the huge temperature variations waking them up and then freezing them, or it's just not time for them yet, though there are certainly bugs out. Haven't seen any fireflies yet.

I'm thinking about plans for my birthday party. It's 40, so I should probably do something. I feel like my larger parties are more about me giving a gift to others, rather than about me, whereas the small one I do with a few intimate friends, are for my own sake.

Suzannah is hard at work on the garden, pulling up grass/sod to create a vegetable bed, and planting perennials and trees and some of the seedlings she's been growing in the guest bathroom.

The fruit tree's she planted last year had lots of flowers on them, now dropped, and I was worried their branches would break, if they all became fruit, but it looks like the trees were smart enough not to turn any of the flowers into fruit this year, which is fascinating.

OK, I'm gonna arbitrarily end there for now. Perhaps you'll get another some time soon, but probably not until the end of the week. We'll see how things go as I start up internship and need to start adding more clients to my caseload so I can get enough hours to graduate.

I hope you're getting some spring beauty where you are now as well, both internally and externally. I always find it easy to be happy during spring, as long as I get outside regularl.

The end of break. Fancy names and fancy hats. The right time.

It is the last day of my wonderful week long break. I'm now in the familiar stage of thinking/feeling "oh no, there is so much that I wanted to do that I didn't get done" with the accompanying worry.

On the other hand, it's much milder than when I was a teacher, probably because I'm actually looking forward to the work I do each day. And, rather than feeling like I had squandered my time and didn't get anything important done, I did in fact make a lot of progress on the #1 task I had set for myself this break, that is, cleaning up the mess in my office. I did several other areas as well, throughout the house, and set up some very simple systems to keep my office nice and tidy (very simple: throw all the stuff on my desk into a box at the end of the day and put in on a shelf off to the side. Simple, but effective.) I also got a bunch of little tasks done. Items that were just sitting around, not getting done because I didn't have time and not getting put away because I didn't want to forget that they needed to get done at some point.

It certainly reminded me how nice it was, to have periods of time that are not high demand, where I can take care of my environment and myself. There were still a bunch of other things I did during the week, I didn't get to spend the whole thing cleaning and tidying. There were various tasks, and I spend some of the time doing further research and reading related to becoming a better therapist. I find that whole field of research fascinating, which is a good sign, since it will not take much effort to get me to keep learning and growing in this area. I am naturally very curious and motivated. I wish I had more time for that now, but currently I really need to focus on the basics of graduating, getting certified, and making sure I can do the basic, often administrative tasks that are fundamental to the insurance, ethical, and legal requirements. But I'm really looking forward to when I'll have more time to dive deep into the nitty gritty of how to get better at the actual work of counseling.

I think I probably shouldn't wait till I come across the perfect time, as I don't think that will ever exist. But this week gives me hope that, though I can't do as many projects as I would like, I can at least do one every now and then.

The next big one will be preparing for and passing the NCMHCE exam, that will allow me to become a mini licensed counselor. "Mini" meaning I still need a few thousand more hours of supervised practice before I can work independently. The official term is "temporary" but I'm not a fan of fancy names for simple things. Though I do like fancy words. But I like them like an elaborate costume hat with a giant feather : it should not be worn seriously, but for the entertainment of all.

On another subject: I know I talk about time a lot, and using time well, and that may seem excessive, but consider this: time is so precious that no matter how much you pay, you can never get a single minute back, once it has been used, and all other forms of wealth, happiness, love, and purpose, can happen only with the grace of time acting as a container for all the other experiences. There is a Vedic saying,  that time is God. Though they also say everything is a part of God, so it's not actually special in that sense, the fact that they name it as such, is a reminder of it's value. To waste time is to literally waste life, the two are inseparable. So, a focus on using one's time well is not a mere pastime, but a goal of essential importance in everyone's life.

May you use your time well and cherish the time you have,

I Out