Has anyone else imagined, while putting a comforter cover on, that the cover was some kind of giant, baggy, sea-creature swallowing another, seemingly bigger, blobby, sea-cucumber-like creature? The smaller, baggy creature unhinges its mouth like a python eating a huge pig, and incomprehensibly fits the whole comforter into its mouth, with a lot of slow swallowing and readjusting, bloating to slightly bigger than the size of the giant white sea cucumber. Are there sea creatures like that?
You haven't imagined that before? Maybe I just have a particularly cool comforter cover.
It's even more crazy than the python. It's more like the python swallows another python that's five times as wide as it is, and just about as long. Makes me think of this video, (but both creatures are the size of a twin bed and rectangular):
Nature is so cool!
But I feel sad for the earthworm.
I love earthworms. I think they are adorable.
So, this last week has contained one of the most amazing and life-changing series of events of my life. No hyperbole. (I can't say "literally" anymore because it now officially also means "emphatically." Congratulations people, you have literally just destroyed the original meaning of a word by using it wrong often enough. Our language is doomed. You maniacs! You blew it up! (This clip is amazing by the way, in case you haven't seen the original Planet of the Apes. It fits in so many situations. Also, I'm not actually upset. I think it's funny.)
In any case, I don't feel up to the task or feel like sharing the details with a wide-ranging audience. Suffice to say my budding search for a romantic partner is decisively over, exclamation point, full stop, fireworks, prostration on the ground in overwhelming awe and gratitude of the incomprehensible generosity and magic of the universe. No further applicants need apply.
And just about as magically and well as in that movie. (The dog's a good metaphor too: there are no other applicants. I'm really mentioning this so that all the friends and family I told to keep an eye out for eligible bachelorettes can call off the hounds)
For rizzle, I've said it before and I'll likely say it again, because it is my direct experience and it's so hugely important. Miracles are possible, God is real and holds the universe easily in his open hand, and can literally do anything, right now, if he/she decided to, from creating matter to appearing in a familiar form to give counsel to creating or dissolving the universe. This is not metaphor. This is "literally" before it meant two opposite things.
He/she is not capricious, not childish, not vindictive. He (I'll just settle on my familiar pronoun for flow's sake but you're welcome to substitute she or it or he/she or any other pronoun as you prefer) is immeasurable, unconditioned, always-on love. He hears you. So if you're not getting what you ask for, there's a good reason.
If you want to tap into the very real magic of the universe, suggestions from my experience are:
Recipie for miracles:
#1!: Dharma, dharma, dharma. (For the non-Indiophile: Dharma roughly translates to right action, or right conduct.) Simply put, decide, no matter what, from here on out, to do everything you can to always do what is right.
What does that mean? In simple (but not easy) terms: we all have a quiet voice within us, your conscience. It lets you know what feels right and what feels wrong. Listen to it.
Warning: it's quiet, and there are other parts of our mind that talk over it, or even cover its mouth and speak in a poor imitation accent. If you're not sure you're hearing the voice correctly, do nothing, get somewhere quiet, meditate or pray or something like that to connect with your Higher Power or the High Consciousness or however you conceive of it. Get really honest with yourself, ask, be quiet, and wait patiently and listen.
And remember you have to discard all the outside dogmas that have been heaped upon you throughout your life, when you do this. Those muddy the waters. This is the voice that comes from inside, not outside.
I think it's possible this strategy won't work if you're having a psychotic break or other serious mental imbalances. Or if you want a specific answer more than you want to know the truth. That's the "get really honest with yourself" bit.
But usually you don't have to go to all that trouble, it's pretty clear what your conscience is saying unless you've been ignoring it for a while, or you're really attached to/afraid of something.
#2... no, that's really it. Listen to your conscience and act on it. With determination. Not just when it's easy.
Also love, I suppose. That's the other part of it. If your life is selfish, full of hate, or envy, or egotism... that's wallowing in darkness, like a dog rolling in its own poop. The magic of the universe is light, and you have to choose one or the other. Really that all should be taken care of through dharma, listening to your conscience. But in practice remembering the importance of love keeps dharma from becoming a cold dead shell of dharma, without the warm living heart. Love is the heart of goodness, of Truth, of God, and if you try to access any of them without it, you risk going astray of the real deal. Unconditional love is your compass. If what you are doing is making you love less, you're going in the wrong direction, my friend. Of that I am sure.
Let me be clear about "Love." The thing that I'm calling love is not sexual attraction. It's not the attachment and desire that leads to hatred and jealousy when not given the object of desire. It's not even the giddy rushing river of joyful excitement when two lovers first get together, though there is a thread of it in that, an echo.
No, it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken. It is the intuitive recognition that you and I are one. It is the appreciation and joy and gratitude of seeing that energy of the Ultimat in some form, something, someone. It is that energy that just wants to give of itself, by its very nature, with no thought of return, of selfish motive. It is the fundamental energy of life that caused the cosmos to burst forth into existence because it wanted, wants, to give its love to something, to create something beautiful, to celebrate.
Be happy, my dear child. Please, be happy. That is all I want for you. From you. Your happiness. That is what love is saying. What God is saying.
and #3: Ask for it. Prayer. Prayer is da bomb. Get quiet, connect to God (or whatever you want to call her) and from your heart, ask for what you want. Simply, honestly, deeply. AND, wait and listen, (and ask, if you need to) for what you need to DO, to receive it. Sometimes you're gonna hear things you don't like; "be patient," or "that's not really a good thing for you," or, "you've got a lot of work to do, for that." But if you stick to it, keep asking what you need to do next, and you do it... miracles will happen. Eventually.
I don't know if there's anything in the universe that can't be done with enough patience and persistence. Though if it goes against Dharma, I would strongly warn against pursuing it. It won't satisfy you, it won't last long, and you'll pay the price in the end. Karma is a thing. Do good, good comes back to you. Do bad...you get the idea.
I wonder if I've alienated the atheists in my audience. Atheists, have I alienated/bored you by talking about God a lot? I'm not interested in changing your beliefs. But this is my personal blog so I am gonna talk about my own. A lot of it is definitional, I think. If we really took the time to drill down, we might just be calling things by different names (and have different sets of experiences). "Do you belive in God?" doesn't seem like a very relivant question. The relevant questions are: are you truly happy? Are you kind to your fellow beings? As for the other stuff, at the latest, we'll find out who's right when we die, eh? Betcha a quarter I'm right! 😉
On to the next topic: it's been a while since I actually threw up. Probably because I don't like throwing up. I try to avoid it, as a policy. Unpleasant. Bad for your teeth. But man, when your stomach is feeling really horrible, it is heaven, right after it's over.
So I got really, really sick, right after finishing the last day of my internship last week. It was a bad night. Sometime after midnight, unable to sleep because of the pain, I realized I needed to get to the bathroom, pronto. After finishing...that, and cleaning up, (including a shower; yes, it was gross. I don't have much practice, having never gotten into drinking at all, let alone heavily) I realized I had to de-ice my car and move it out of a snowbank on the sidewalk or I'd get a ticket for parking in a no-overnight zone. So, still with a headache and wet hair and wobbly on my legs, in the middle of the night, I wrapped my head in a towel and threw on all the warm clothes I could get and wiped the snow, scraped the ice, rocked the car free, and re-parked it.
How I felt:
Actual level of proficiency:
Then I went to sleep for a long time. I managed to keep myself in bed with only a few breaks for most of the next two days by listening to "Ready Player One" on audio book. (Really looking forward to that movie) During the last several days I've subsisted on a thin rice gruel called "kanjee" (no idea of the spelling.)
And you know what? the universe is perfect and beautiful and I want to fall at its feet in utter defeat, utter surrender. It has given me so much, I couldn't even imagine it, before getting it. I would have considered it completely unrealistic.
It's given me so much... I've got nothing to give in return, to match it. But I want to give, just like getting a sweet and thoughtful present makes you want to give something nice back. But all I can give is absolutely everything. It's just a speck, in comparison, but I know the universe doesn't care. It wasn't expecting anything in return, it doesn't care about getting anything in return. I've already said it: all it wants is me to be even more happy and at peace. And of course, that just makes me want to give even more. I am immoilated in kindness. Take everything God. Take it all. I give it with joy. I want nothing more than to give it. But what can I give of value? All he wants is for me to be happy. I guess I dang well better stop making excuses about why I shouldn't be then, and get on with it.
But part two is, I'm not special in this respect. Universe loves you this way too. Universe wants everyone to be this happy. And that's the part I really can do something about. Yet another overwhelming, more-than-I-can-conceptualize gift: I can be an assistant for God as he gives to other people.
God is fine, God doesn't need or want anything from anyone. He's the hardest person in the world to get a good gift for. But other people are the parts of God that giving matters too. They are the parts of God that aren't yet totally happy and content.
This gratitude isn't just for the obviously nice things that happened to me, just to clarify. I'm not saying "I puked my guts out but at least I met a cute girl so all good." I'm saying "It has become appallingly obvious that every single breath I take has a ribbon on it and a 'From God, with Love' note attached."
I'm saying even being sick is a chance to tell a funny story and listen to a good book on tape and take a nap and appreciate being able to find gratitude even in unpleasant situations. Even severe stomach pain can be a training session in spiritual awareness because oowee it becomes way less bearable as soon as I stop my constant all-day-long awareness practice, so I won't be forgetting it for that time period. And if I can keep awareness and gratitude even in that situation, then how much easier in every other situation. Mental weight training. Powerful empathy generating experience as well, for other people who are going through something similar. I don't wish it on anybody, but I accept it without hesitation. (Until I do hesitate, at which point it's teaching me humility and where I still need to grow.)
It's all a gift, and it's all working for you, not against you, not even indifferent to you. Once you accept that, once you stop fighting the world and get onboard with learning from the hard stuff, the hard lessons get learned faster and then those classes are over sooner.
Though you certainly can make it look like the universe is uncaring or out to get you. The world is like a mirror fun-house, and when you make a scary face at it, you get a hundred right back at you. Your thoughts, beliefs, and expectations, resound, react, and return to you. That is a thing. But once you realize that, you can start creating the reflections you want. And there is a reality behind the mirrors as well, and that is highly benevolent. My wish for all of you this year and every year, is the discovery of this fact for yourself. It is deeply peace-inducing. And allows you much more conscious control of your experience as a person here on earth.
Good night all. Or good morning. Be well, stay warm if your anywhere that's getting hit with the crazy low temperatures like we are, and love in love.
Happy New Years
-IOut
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