Lights in the Darkness. Work/Play balance. Santa stress.

Chrome seems to be working better now, since it's last update. I can use the blogger website on it rather than having to switch to Safari.

It's pretty late in the week. Fascinating, isn't it? Even though I don't have work, I'm even more behind.

Partly I'm not surprised. There tends to be a rubber band effect with these kinds of things; if I have to be super disciplined and focused for a long stretch, when I finally get a chance to decompress, there is an equivalent amount of time where I am equally undisciplined and unfocused. And I've been working really hard, with lots of focus, for months now.

I'm finally coming up for air, and starting to get more focused and productive again. Thank God for the long winter break.

It's interesting, teaching is quite stressful and exhausting, but being productive and getting things done is actually even harder when one's schedule is totally free and flexible, suddenly having few immediate external demands or accountabilities.

For a long time I just thought there was something wrong with me, but I think that's pretty much how it goes, with most humans.

I had just finally gotten pretty good at being productive even in that kind of environment, when I switched back into an externally motivated "you've gotta get this done by x date for y person." mode, for school and then work. Now that I'm briefly back into that non-external mode, it's taking some time to remember all the lessons I've learned about how to set myself up for productivity in that different motivational environment.

I think life is usually about balance: having too much free time isn't healthy, just like overworking isn't healthy. Working hard and being busy, but not overwhelmed, seems like the optimal state, not just for productivity, but also happiness. I suspect idle people are more susceptible to depression and illness than busy people. (But maybe similar to overworked people.)

In any case, it's the holidays! Just a reminder, if you hate the holidays, you're not alone. It is a trigger point for lots of people to feel bad. For people who are already having a rough time, it tends to accentuate that. The idea that everyone is supposed to be happy makes those who feel bad, feel worse. The various stress around gifts etc., once a year interactions with family that end up emotionally fraught... I think there are statistics about this; the holiday season is extra stressful.

So, if you're feeling bad, know that you're not alone. And if you're one of the ones who loves the holiday season and thinks everyone else should too, be gentle on your friends and family who have a hard time with it.

I'm against the corporate hijacking and artificial expectations that have been injected into the holiday season, but I do love the opportunity to spend time with the people I care about, the celebration of light and life burning bright against the darkness, as the days begin to lengthen again.

I enjoy the heart of all the traditions, which at heart have nothing to do with buying expensive garbage that nobody needs from giant companies, and everything to do with light and love and miracles and rebirth.

Remember what this season is really about: love, light. The warmth that comes from deep connection, the bonds of love we share. If you want to give, what about giving food to the hungry, or a smile/hug to someone who's down, or a sympathetic ear to a friend who needs someone to talk with. Words of encouragement. That kind of thing.

Celebrate the light that shines in each of us as compassion, courage, yearning for truth, faith (in ourselves, if nothing else).

Happy holidays. May you be surrounded by light from the hearts of those around you, may you recognize the light that shines within you.

^_^

-Isaac