Oh, I thought I was two weeks behind, but I'm actually approximately on schedule. I guess it's felt like a long week. I think a lot of people can related. There is probably quite a bit of shared experience between people right now. What's it like, staying at home all day?
I'm actually quite happy about that part of it. Right now, I was scheduled to be practice teaching during my spring break, but I actually get to take it! I'm thinking about how much I want to spend on video games and movies, and how much I want to spend, catching up on work. I suppose I'm lucky, in that I have perhaps years of backlog of stuff that I could work on. I'll be back to work remotely come next week, but I could easily spend a couple months working through all the todo's I've got stored up in a list, and another couple years on the creative projects I've written down to work on "some day." So I don't have to worry about boredom. I treasure days or weeks like this, where I have the time to work on these things.
I almost never get a chance to really sit down and play a game, but I've kind of turned the work I have to do into a game. There is great satisfaction in setting goals for myself and then ticking them off. There is something about the realness of that which usually trumps computer games, even when the computer games are beautiful works of art, akin to a painting and a novel and a symphony that are synced to an interactive sport, all put together. In many ways, that's what the best computer games are (except you don't actually get to move your body much, like you would in a real physical sport.)
Even so, the game of real life is usually more satisfying. Often with video games I end up being more of a taster. It's why I like buffets so much: you get to try a tiny bit of a whole bunch of things, decide what you like most, and have more of that. I think I would have fun as a review writer: I like to research, try things, analyse, and write my thoughts.
In any case, often I just have time for a taste, but perhaps I'll have a little more time this week.
I spent a good part of monday of last week cleaning and being super productive, imagining that's what my break would feel like, and then the rest was setting up and doing stuff for my students and parents for home-school stuff, since our school is closed.
I was hoping to do that for a full week now that spring break is actually here, but I've got a weird stomach bug that's keeping me low energy. I don't know what the heck it is. It's not intense, but my stomach feels 'tender' pretty much all the time, and if I eat too much, I get a full on stomach ache. I tried fasting one day and that was really bad, I felt weak and got dehydrated and it didn't seem to improve anything, so I'm just eating lightly and taking it easy, hoping my immune system will fix things. Not sure what else there is to do about it. But kind of a bummer, when I want to be going full steam ahead with all the stuff that's been put off till now. I'll have to settle for half steam, until it's better. It's been dragging on for... maybe 6 days now. It's a bad time to get a weird medical thing, because I don't want to go into a hospital if I can help it. Objectively, it's not that bad, but these kind of things are always worse when you couple them with the unknown: Is it just a weird stomach flu? Is something wrong with my stomach and it's not going to get better until I get medical help? When will it be over it?
I just got in digital line for a phone-call doctor visit. There are, as expected, unusually long lines for that, and half of the intake questions seemed to be covid related. I half expect her to pick up the phone, discover I'm not asking about covid, and hang up on me in disgust. Or else be relieved to have something different to think about. We'll see how it goes. Can they diagnose me effectively just over the phone? Perhaps I should have just called a cousin or friend who's in the medical profession? My experience with western medicine with these kind of minor chronic things is not good, but it seems like the responsible thing to do.
It's been a crazy few weeks, hasn't it? I went to Chicago to practice teach, and had to turn around and drive back two days later, because the schools closed the day after my very first day teaching. The whole world is seemingly in lockdown, except for those who are on the front lines, doing medical stuff or providing needed services, like food and gass. I'm sure their lives have just gotten way more stressful. What used to be relatively average jobs, stress wise, like groceries, have become super intense suddenly.
And the rest, who have to stay at home, are having to deal with economic worries. Business owners are worried about losing their businesses. Others, their jobs. People are rushing to stockpile food and other staples.
The world suddenly doesn't seem as safe and stable as it once did. The reality of the fragility of our systems is kind of hitting home. Even though it doesn't seem like this is close to the straw that breaks the camel's back, it is making it clear that such a thing could happen, even hear, in the US. It makes me think of the first time a really close friend died. Death seemed kind of foreign, far away, not real. After that happened, it suddenly became real. Death itself became real. We human beings are not good at being motivated by emotionless facts. We need personal stories, emotions, for something to move us, most of the time. A cool calculated analysis that says our systems are reaching a breaking point in the next few decades doesn't motivate many to change. But a tragedy striking close to home does. Perhaps this will be a bit of a wake-up call to people. I know it is for me. It makes me think of the need for resiliency and self-sufficiency, among families, groups, communities. I already think about the need for change in social and environmental policies and practices and have for many years. Perhaps more people will realize it now.
In the meantime, you may want to get some exercise every day, and spend time outside in nature, even if it's just your backyard. Being inside too much certainly makes me go a little weird in the head, I assume some of you are the same. Just in general, I hope you all take care of yourself. Stay aware and don't pretend nothing is happening, but also, it's ok to enjoy life now. You don't have to be anxious just because that's fashionable these days. A lot of you probably have a bunch of time on your hands: that's great! Any hobbies or skills you've always wanted to learn? Books you've wanted to read? People you've wanted to get back in touch with? How wonderful that we have the internet to connect us to others, even using live video. For free! And practically infinite resources for learning just about any skill you could want. Grow a garden, learn a language, or an instrument. Or, like me, just catch up on your todo list.
And keep yourself emotionally sound. panic and anxiety won't help you. Stay socially connected, even if you're physically distancing. Do your top self-care activities, be it dancing, meditating, playing games with friends, getting enough sleep at the right time, eating well. We all have our own top things that help us have a good day. Now more than ever it's important to practice those things.
Stay connected to your community, your tribe. We need each other especially during stressful and uncertain times. And if you are feeling down, as one of my friends reminded me, one of the best things to do is help someone else. Take the focus off yourself, and see what you can do to make someone else's day brighter. Give a loved one or friend a call, or a nice email, or a funny cat photo. Send a few bucks to a relief fund that's doing something good. Pick up something for an older or at-risk person. In serving, we are served.
Take care everyone. Life is not going as usual, but it's these unusual moments that we end up remembering for years to come. These are the stories we tell to grandchildren.
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