I think I've totally missed my normal blogging time. Probably because I'm off my normal routine. Two kids in my class tested positive so we went online for a week. Also we had parent teacher conferences this week. I guess I'm just now beginning to catch my breath from that.
Apparently my birthday is coming up soon too? I think I'm turning 35? I think I decided I was an old person once I turned 30, so nothing new there. Though as I've said before, I kind of felt like a grouchy 90 year old man since I was fairly little, so no difference there. If anything, I've gotten younger as the years have gone by, in that sense.
Thinking about time, as usual. I think one element of expanding my sense of time, looking for the spaciousness I want, is awareness. Awareness of what I'm doing, what I'm choosing to do. And being aware either as I do it, or in the breaks in focus between doing one thing and another.
I'm also taking more responsibility for my time, and how I spend it. Sometimes that's depressing, when I feel like I've squandered it. But that's just another self-defeating habit of thought. Something that can be worked on.
Currently I'm being reminded that emotions, such as that depression/guilt, are ok, and should be gently accepted, vs. repressed or labeled as bad or as something wrong. That non-judgmental acceptance is key to being able to efficiently process them and move on. Being transparent, being real, authentic. Doesn't mean ruminating on things, but also doesn't mean doing a spiritual by-pass. (trying to always be happy, pretend the 'negative' emotions don't exist.) It's hard to describe. Acceptance, but not passivity or meta-emotions of worry or despair. (meta-emotion means being sad that your sad, or angry that you're sad, or something like that.)
OK, on to other things. Talk to you in a few days, hopefully.
-I
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