Quest

 I am in beautiful Rehoboth beach, in a multi-million dollar house rental, (the rental isn't millions, but the zillow estimate is maybe 3 million for the house) with a multi-generational family (nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins and parents and wife.) All together helping to pay for the rental and the chef that makes dinners for us.

And I took today to fast and meditate and quest. The fast is to prepare for the 4-day fast involved in the vision quest coming up for me. The spiritual activities are to take advantage of the fasting, and also prepare for the activity of the quest, and to seek answers and clarity, just the the full quest itself is for.

Many would look at this externally and say, why are you wasting a day of paradise for deprivation. Not eating the delicious food, not having fun with family or at the beach. Or they would say, wow, that's intense, I couldn't do that.

The reality is, I'm not questing or fasting because I'm masochistic. I'm questing because questing is good. Fasting and prayer and meditation is food for the soul, when done right. After just a little of it, I feel a sense of peace and beauty and gratitude that is somewhat intense, and definitely outside what I experience in my everyday life. Even some clarity on deep questions I have about myself and my path.

Life is not all about doing easy pleasurable things. Eating and sleeping and playing games to pass the time. We all crave purpose, peace, love, and joy. Food, external things, will never give a lasting version of these. It's when we answer the deeper promptings of our heart and soul, that life really reveals it's sweetness. Like a flower blooming. Give, help others, for its own sake. Revel in the beauty of the world and dwell on all you have to be grateful for. Seek the spiritual font within for your primary joy and solace. Do what you know to be right, even when it's difficult.

There's a verse in the Bhagavad-Gita that goes something like, "for the wise, day appears as night, and night as day." It makes me think of this. Most of the world thinks the external things are "day" and will give them happiness. It's not totally wrong. You get some happiness from them, sometimes. But the wise know it is the internal that really is where to look for happiness. That is "day" for them. And each see's the other option as "night"

If you want to look externally for lasting or deep happiness and fulfilment, it's what I mentioned. Serving others for its own sake. Living a life based on righteousness, love, truth. Those values that are the external manifestations of the internal like within.

People maybe think I'm a little crazy, or if they're generous, just eccentric, but I think the same thing of them. And they'd probably think what I thought, if they'd experienced what I have. I did think what they thought, before I experienced it. I don't really think they're crazy or eccentric. I get why they act the way they do. 

I'm definitely not anything like done, but I've gotten enough experience to confirm the general hypothesis to my own satisfaction, and the main emotion that goes along with that, is just gratitude. And so, I am grateful for my little mini vision quest.

I think that's one of the differences, between my novice spirituality, and my now journeyman spirituality, is that I now do the spiritual work, because I like to. Because it feels right, and makes my life better, richer. Rather than, because somebody told me to, or I think I'm supposed to.

Makes me think of the habit formation advice for establishing an exercise routine. You need to choose a good "why" for your exercise. Not "so I'll look good in a swimsuit" or even "so I'll be healthy" but something more immediate, like "because I feel better after running" or "I have more energy for the rest of the day."

Anyways, the quest is done, all that's left is the night, which is actually kind of a lot more time to fast, but I'll probably be asleep for most of it.

Sacrifice is essential to life, and is not a bad thing. I sacrifice some food and comfort, for peace, clarity, meaning, and joy. What you have to remember is to look at the right time horizons. Most of the deeper satisfactions come after a period of struggle, when it's not fun. The easy pleasures are often like junk food. They taste good in the beginning, but later you get indigestion. The longer lasting pleasures are more like complex carbohydrates. They don't taste as good as candy, but they give you good energy throughout the day.

Good Night! Next time I'll have some stories from my trip to New York, probably.