Quest-ions

 I leave for my vision quest in 4+ days. So, my main focuses are:

- make sure I've got everything I need for the quest, packed and ready, including my travel plans, which are going to involve a fair bit of public transport

- make sure I've got the questions I want to bring into the quest, ready at hand, deeply thought about and researched

- prepare for my SSE online classes, with some lesson plans and activity ideas

So, aside from going through some simple todo's, I'm thinking deeply about what questions I want answered. In general what I want is obvious: I want a job, work, that I love.

But how can I get specific about that? the more specific the questions are, the more useful they will be. What constitutes a "good job"? I want to enjoy it, but I also want to be financially comfortable. Should I entertain the idea of doing something I'm good at but is ho-hum, part time, so I can do something I really enjoy, the rest of the time? or should I keep searching until I find something I enjoy that can also make me enough money to feel financially secure? And I also want to be doing something that is helping others. Will that need to be a separate consideration? Should I think about that after I've thought about what I enjoy? What about the role of working with my strengths? If I'm going to be useful to others, it makes sense to work with my strengths. Same for being financially secure. Using my strengths means I'll do a better job that average, probably.

In addition, how will I know if what I think is a good choice, actually is? My only clear way to figure that out is to try it, in some way. But if I'm taking the time to think about this a bunch, which I'm doing now, and planning to do in the vision quest, I'm not going to have the opportunity try out my hypothesis. Which will likely improve as I try them out and see, 'yes, this i really is enjoyable, no this actually isn't, yes, I am strong in this, no I actually am average in that.'

In addition to those questions, I'm thinking about what my underlying values are and why, thanks to a book called "The Pragmatists Guide to Life," which is offering some questions and thought experiments with the thesis that the most important and fundamental thing to identify is: what are your intrinsic values? Things you think are important for their own sake. And which are your highest values, that supersede the others?

Do I try and work this out before going into the vision quest, or just bring them in as well?

It's been a while since I really journaled voluminously, but I used to do it all the time, at length. I'm feeling like it is time to revisit that practice, to help me get some clarity in my thinking. I can't do it here, because it usually produces a very large quantity of materiaal, with no editing and often fragmented trains of thought, and may be very personal or potentially offensive. I don't think it would actually be offensive, but it definitely could be more personal than I'd like to share publicly, and just the act of writing something knowing it will be read by others changes what gets written.

But writing itself helps me organize my thoughts. I usually end up typing, because it's the only way to kind of keep up with my thinking, and I sometimes find it better than speaking, because I can look back at what I've written. Though often I don't. So, that's what's up next on the menu. I may not have a post next week, because I'll be in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, again. If I do post, it will be by Saturday, since I'm traveling Sunday. If you don't see it by then, you won't get anything until after the following Sunday.

See you later, where I can maybe tell you a little about my quest (though you're always supposed to keep some of it to yourself, not shared with others.)