On the precipice of adventure

I’m sitting in the airport, waiting for my second flight. I really don’t know what to expect for this upcoming spiritual workshop. It’s got a lot of hype around it, in a way, which makes it difficult to live up to. I’m trying not to come into it with expectations, but it’s stirred up a bunch of stuff for sure, even before arriving. I suppose that’s good for a spiritual workshop. The point is to see through the maya to truth no matter what, so if there’s specific stuff that’s blocking that from happening, it’s good to become aware of it.

I suppose you’ll hear about it next week, probably. For now, I’ve been spending the week taking care of immediately important stuff, taxes, finances, and chipping away at the new house, putting stuff away. And some playing. Suzannah and I got the newest Zelda game, and we’ve been exploring the beautiful world they’ve created. Again, like its predecessor, this game is truly a work of art. Like a classic movie, except instead of being two or three hours long, it’s like a hundred hours long. So, maybe a bit more like an epic fantasy novel series. One of those big ones where each book is a thousand pages and there are ten books in the series.

But different. Epic fantasy novels are always doing stuff, but this game allows you to live a bit of the in-between moments, wandering around exploring, discovering. Cooking even, and gathering things to cook. And the game makes it all charming and fun.

The other thing I’ve been doing is making sure I’m ready for this trip, and continuing to journal and research and think about my conundrum. I haven’t yet come up with a better solution than counseling graduate school. I looked at MSW’s, I looked at coaching. I thought about just trying to do stuff with no credentials.

I think most importantly, I’ve been thinking about what it is I want to do. The credentials and education are not an end-goal in themselves, they are just a means to an end. The more clear I have that goal, the easier it becomes to make any intermediate decisions. The problem of course, is that it’s a better idea to gauge what you want by actually doing it, and then course correcting. We humans often incorrectly predict what will make us happy.

Anyways, I’ve still got at least a few weeks to decide on graduate school, if I get accepted. Everything is done for one of them, and everything but the interview for the other one. I’ll probably know if I’m doing that, and thus so will you, by somewhere around the beginning of July.

It’s clear that I like creating and writing, I’ve done that with great joy already. And I’m pretty sure I like counseling. I did it a bit when I tried being a life coach several years ago, and though it wasn’t perfect, it felt like generally the right direction. And I know I don’t want to be a classroom teacher from extensive experience, unfortunately. What kind of counseling work do I want to do? I’m not going to know that without some experience.

I suppose my main worry is that I will somehow be wrong, and I will dislike counseling as much as teaching. Or that I could do something I enjoy just as much using my teaching masters, and the counseling degree is superfluous. That’s a question to journal on and research I guess. Before I get another degree, can I do what I want, with my current one.

OK, talk again in another week.

-I Out