Escalators quicksand and overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed. I need a bunch more clients, which means a bunch more paperwork, and I don't know how I'm going to manage to get it all done. Next week is ok but probably still to much, the week after that is crazy, way too much, and then I have a week of vacation, which I'm worried will turn into a week of catching up on paperwork instead of actually having a vacation. And I don't know if it's ever going to have a breather, until I (hopefully, still am not getting enough hours) graduate. Feeling the stress.

Even my weekly review, to try and get a handle on things, took like 3x as long as normal, and I can't figure out why. Do I have that much more stuff going on? Am I somehow way more distractible than normal? It's like when things start to go off the rails, my flailing to get them back on the rails makes them go even further off. My classic issue of trying to organize myself so I can get more done, but the organization ends up taking up more of my time than it gives back, so it makes things even worse. Now all the other stuff I wanted to get done didn't get done, and it's 10pm. I wanted to catch-up over the weekend and instead just barely didn't get further behind. 

Things are bad, so I try and make them better, and it makes them even worse. That my friend, is very disheartening.

There's got to be some way to simplify things so I am actually keeping the worthwhile stuff, while discarding or streamlining the majority, so I have more time for the important, but when I try to do that, I fail, and somehow end up with even more stuff. As I said, quite disheartening. Feels like I'm trying to walk up some stairs but I'm on an escalator going down. Except the harder and faster I try and go, the faster the escalator goes the other direction. Maybe it's like quicksand? The more I struggle the more I get sucked down?

In any case, these are all first world problems, as they say. Ultimately, nobody's going to die or even be seriously hurt if I don't get all the things done. It will all work out one way or the other, and the worst that's likely to happen is just being stressed out for several months. Not enjoyable, but doable. I did it for years while being a teacher. Maybe I'll even figure things out and get good enough at the paperwork that it's not so ridiculously time-consuming.

Shots! Administrative Paperwork! More Peaches!

The blackberries are really coming in now! Also, massive massive numbers of peaches. It's finally reaching the end, but it must have been like 50 pounds of them. Picking and processing them during harvest time seems like a full time job.

I think I already mentioned, that I passed the test? Yes, looks like I did. And, I'm getting ready to start my group sessions, which is happening, Yay for that. And, my clinical director put the word out that there was a free intern taking patients, so I've started to get more clients very quickly. So: woohoo! Looks like all my worries are over. Except for paperwork. And the actual process of counselor development. Which is way more fun and interesting and seemingly important than paperwork. And with all the new intakes, it's going to be A LOT of paperwork. I'm sure I will eventually get fast at it, but until then, it's really a lot of time. Working on it. Also trying to work on the actual counseling, but sadly that gets second place because the paperwork HAS to get done and the development does not. Seems backwards. And I often can't resist study to improve myself and learn more about the mechanics and science and theory, when it seems useful in helping my clients improve.

Also: injections. One of my cousins who has a young child was at a bat-mitzvah with me and the dj played a song that one of the teens demanded that was probably inappropriate and part of the song was chanting "shots shots shots shots" and my cousin turned to his little daughter and said something like "he must really like going to the doctor to get shots, huh?" So now that's our theme song when we have to do the hormone injections. Adds a little lightness to something she's really not looking forward to.

Blackberries, Peaches, Star Trek

The blackberry bushes are exploding. The peach tree is giving us boxes and buckets and bowls of peaches. 50 pounds? 60? A lot. Just picking them all is a lot of work especially in the summer heat, but then they have to be processed (they can't all get eaten). It's a lot of work. Just to be clear, I'm not doing much of this work, this is Suzannah, who has a passion for peaches currently and gardening always. What a wonderful thing to be passionate about. But I'm at max capacity already, with work and school and learning how to do my job well. I'll help keep our house plants alive and the need-to-do chores done. I think I've said this before in grad school, it sounds like the star trek thing where their engines have been shot at: energy systems at critical levels, transferring all remaining energy to basic life support systems. I've already gone down in classes as much as I reasonably can. It's time to just push through now. It's only for a little bit, so I can do it, and most of the time, it's not quite this intense. It's just when several sometimes-things overlap.

It's very sweet having the nephews over though, so I say worth it.

OK, that's all for these two weeks, I out

Passing, Pouring, Progesterone-ing

 I have completed my NCMHCE, the counselor licensing exam for Iowa, and... I passed! by a bunch! Woo! Now, we've got family (Suzannah's sister's family) visiting and staying with us for a week, and I need to finish writing the curriculum for the group I'm going to lead to get my group hours. Also a bazjillion other things, so it seems and feels like. I still love the work I'm doing, but it feels like a "when it rains it pours" situation, with lots of paperwork, some of which is kind of backlogged from me focusing on studying for my test, plus the additional inputs required from visiting family, plus Suzannah starting her next round of IVF and all the additional medical stuff to keep in mind. It's a lot.

It kind of seems like me getting behind on my blogs is a good thermometer for how busy I am. I am looking forward to the possibility of being able to slow down for a bit, after I graduate. At that point, I can kind of set my own pace, to a larger degree. Until then, (December) it's a race to the end. Now that my test is done, and it looks like I'm going to get my group hours, the one remaining hurdle that still needs jumping is getting all my direct client hours. I don't have enough clients currently, and though I'm open to getting more, there just aren't many new clients for me currently. I'll figure it out, but it's not yet figured. I'm working on it well in advance though, so that gives me a lot of time to course correct.

OK, gonna end here for this post. Maybe another short one to stay current after this.