The illusion of not enough time, Cat tales.

 Ok, with this one, I'm caught up. One of our cats is running around the house, chasing invisible things (faeries?), trying to burn off excess energy. Can't let this one one (Reiko) outside to do it, because she is not good about coming back in when we call her at night. I think she either gets lost, or distracted, or can't hear us well, or just doesn't feel like coming in until she's good and ready, but it means we can't let her out for a before bed wee, because she might just not come back for an hour. The other one (Ume) is better about it, usually. Ume is finally getting over her cat trauma. She got into a fight and got bitten, and was scared to go outside for a while, and it was really interesting seeing her slowly go outside for a little bit, and then a little longer, until finally she felt comfortable going and staying outside, even without one of her humans nearby. I feel like this process applies to humans as well, getting over trauma in a healthy way. Interesting how much animals can teach us, if we are careful observers.

Speaking of which, even now, well into fall, I'm still seeing hummingbirds every now and then at my sit spot. Saw one this morning, buzzing around the pink trumpet shaped flowers they seem to love. I tried to be quiet, but I think I swallowed, and it went up into a branch, which is fun to watch as well. You have to be careful watching them though, only do it out of the corner of your eyes, because they can tell when you're staring at them, and they fly off. I had a probably 7 minute encounter with one, me being very still and not staring and not swallowing, as it repeatedly moved between all 4 flower boxes, at one point getting so close to me I could hear it's unique buzzing sound and maybe even feel the breeze it kicks up from it's flapping. This time though, Ume came around the corner, and it booked it out of there immediately. Ume likes sitting with my when I do my morning nature sit spot. She's definitly the outdoor cat, and would love it if I spent more of my work time working outside. Which is a great idea, but I need somewhere shady and non-buggy for that, plus not feeling time crunched, which is rare these days unfortunately.

I was reminded today by something someone said, that the feeling of 'not having enough time' is to a large degree, an artifact of perspective. Meaning, if you decide you need to get three things done in the next hour, and there is realistically only time to do two of them, at the end of the hour, you will have two things done and feel like you don't have enough time and maybe also like you're a failure. But if you try and get two things done, and do them, then you feel like the amount of time you have is just right.

I suppose the trick is, there are sometimes other people who want you to get three things done in the hour as well, so it's not just you putting that pressure on you. But a large degree of the time, that's not true, and you are free to make that mental change.

I kind of want to try it.

OK, that's all I've got time for tonight ;-)

Sweet dreams and peaceful waking

-Isaac

2 months. I think I can, I think I can.

Clearly I missed a week, since it's now 2 months exactly now before I graduate, Deo volente. Theoretically, I can extend for one extra week if I'm really close to December 18th. But, fingers crossed, it's looking like I will actually make it. Each week, I recalculate my total internship hours, and for the last two weeks, the ratio (how many hours per week I need) has been slowly going down. Last week, it was around 11, this week, it's around 10. We want that number to keep going down, because unexpected things might happen, such as a bunch of clients missing, or -and I really don't want this to happen- me getting sick. I'm kind of not allowed to do that, so I've got to keep taking all the things that keep me healthy. The main one being: getting enough sleep. Not being super stressed, and getting regular exercise, being the next one.

But, if I keep pushing, it looks like it will be ok. So I'll keep pushing. Important note: that means having a lot of clients, which means having a lot of notes. I have been getting faster, some notes only take me a half hour, which is great news, but some are still more like 45 minutes. But everything is getting faster, bit by bit. Again, great news. Still, with all the school work, plus the paperwork, plus the independent studying for things like the couples I'm seeing, it is quite a lot. I'm feeling stretched thing, but I'm hanging in there, not burning out, and definitely getting some great practice with efficient time management, due to being forced to be efficient with my time.

Speaking of which, I've got two of these to write, so I think I'll finish this one now.

Writing another, after this.

On the edge, Final stretch, 2 1/2 months

 So. I may have been a bit premature in my celebration of being past the burnout zone. I think I am not currently in burn-out zone, but I am in 'divert all energy to basic life support systems' mode. Just really really trying to finish this last semester. I have confirmed that if I don't get all my hours, I will not be able to graduate until next semester, meaning April. That would be unfortunate, since I will be very close to getting all my hours, if I don't make it, so I would be doing, say, a final week or two of internship in January, and then waiting until April to graduate, get my temp license, and start being able to see clients again.

I have been taking on as many additional clients as I can, and last week I finally had a good 11 direct client hours. That is what I need, every week, until I graduate. If two many clients cancel, I don't get my hours, so I still need to take on more clients, because there is always attrition. Often it's a good thing: cliens get their goals met and end treatment, or drop to less frequent treatment. Also, I would say last week was a good week. A lower than average number of clients cancelled. So for that reason as well, I need more clients. I need enough that I'm getting 11 hours on an average week, not just a good week. Unfortunately that means more notes per day and per week, and more intakes, which take even longer than notes.

The good news is it's possible, and at least not unlikely. The bad news is I am going to have to push and keep pushing, hard, for the next two and a half months. Weekends are not breaks, they are time to catch up on paperwork and classwork. I will take the minimum amount of breaks and fun time I can, to not burn out, and the rest is really nose to the grindstone. The other good news is, it's only two and a half months. I can do that.

So... you can expect some short blog posts, if at all. Wish me luck, and if I make it, I will be euphoric. And if I don't make it... well, it will still be fine in the grand scheme of things.

OK, that's all, since that's all I'm thinking about. Oh, I didn't even mention the school work. I've got a final capstone class that's also taking time every week. Plus the trainings I'm doing so I can do couples work, and one for research, for my capstone, and because it seems most likely to lead to me being a better therapist.

Wishing goodness and joy and peace in all of your lives,

Isaac

Puzzle Pieces in the Rain

What is something short I can share? It's been raining a lot. The grass is squishy and tall and the geese are starting to migrate. Oh, I'm really into this deliberate practice course I'm taking. I am in general trying to absolutely minimize the extraneous non-essential stuff I'm doing, but DP (deliberate practice) is a part of my deep passion and the number one most promising thing I've found for my goal of becoming a great therapist (and DP is probably one of the best things for becoming a great anything).

I've always been fascinated by mastery and people who exhibit excellence and mastery, in any field, and wanted to strive for that myself. And it feels like finally I'm in a position to learn how to do that, and actually start moving in that direction. One more piece of the puzzle, coming into place. Deep deep gratitude for all the stepping stones, teachers, friends, mentors, who have helped me along the way, while the puzzle pieces seemed impossibly mixed up and like they would never fit together and form a coherent picture. It feels like they've been starting to for the last several years, and picking up more and more steam, so I can only fall down in gratitude and try to pay it forward as best I can.

Hope you are all finding some time for love and connection and maybe some natural beauty in this crazy hectic human world we live in.

With love, (and gratitude)

Isaac

Mysterious Earthworms, Burnt-out->Grown-in, Gottman and Teaching.

 OK! I caught up last week, I was definitely moving towards burnout, but now I've had a bit of a break, and I'm fresh and ready to get at it again! I'm not getting a real break until December, but the amount of stuff I have to do is not so much it's giving me anxiety. It's still taking a bunch of time over the weekend, not just the work week,  but it's manageable, and there is time to do fun stuff and be with friends and family as well, so, all good. And, I'm starting to get more new clients, so that's also good. I need them, to get my hours in.  But it's at least back to possible.

There are earthworms trying to get into our front door. I'm a fan on synchronicity, but I'm currently boggled by what it means. These huge earthworms are hanging out right in the nook outside our door, one of them even crawled up the top of the door (!!!) and was hanging down, spooking Suzannah, in the morning. And a couple times, we found them inside, right where the doormat would be. What does it mean!?!? (Don't answer that, rhetorical question. I believe people need to interpret their own signs and synchronicities.)

I'm enjoying working with couples. I've been a fan and a student of Gottman's work for a long time, so it's fun getting to go even deeper into it, and to share it with others. The groups I'm leading take the most time, because I'm going over my lesson plan and fine-tuning it each week. But it's a nice intersection of my work as a teacher and my work as a therapist.

OK, Gonna stop there, maybe I'll write another short one to chip away at the blog backlog. (That has a nice ring to it)

I Out :-)

Burnout zone.

OK, I am in burnout zone. I can last a week or two but I can't keep going at this rate of work. I am working all week, and most of the weekend, and it doesn't feel like I'm getting ahead, somehow it feels like I'm falling further behind, while still managing to keep my head just above water. Maybe it's because I'm still doing the things I absolutely have to do, while more and more things that I really should do but don't absolutely have to, are falling further and further behind. I see trouble up ahead, but I don't know what to do about it, so I just keep worrying in the back of my mind while focusing in the next big thing that needs to get done right now. 

I also need even more clients, to get enough hours to graduate, but I'm already drowning in paperwork, along with all the other stuff. 

The positive is that it will all be over in less than three months, which really isn't that long, and maybe it will mellow out a bit before that, once I'm caught up on hours? Maybe. Either way, 3 months really isn't that long, it will be over in a snap. I just don't want to be burned out for my clients along the way.

On the positive side, being so over my head will definitely force me to do a shoddier job on all the stuff I spend too much time on, so that's good.

That's all for this week, gotta get back to it. This blog post is one of those things I'm gonna be doing a shoddier job on for the next while ;D

Hummingbirds, wall-staring, word of hand (not of mouth).

 Hello. It is I. But not AI. I'm writing this by hand, not by mouth (meaning, I'm not dictating it and having AI transcribe it. Faster, but also often does weird things in the transcription process)

Something about handmade goods. I bet they will get more popular in niche ways as AI gets more  ubiquitous.

In any case, another really short one. I'm kind of incredibly busy. I've been working really hard, and really focused. I've gotten a LOT done over this weekend, but there is still a LOT more to go. I'm at the point where I'm cutting out things from my day and routine that I really don't want to. And truncating other things that I'd like to be spending more time on. It is helping. But I'm still just hanging on by my fingernails, it feels like.

Maybe this is ironic? Or just common sense? But being this urgently overful of stuff that really needs to, or that I really want to, get done, is making me more efficient and focused with my time and energy. If I could bottle and duplicate this level of focus and triage, when I'm not this urgently busy, I'd be a lot more productive in general. There is unfortunately a level of stress associated with this level of urgency and too much to do, that is not the kind of feeling you want to live with, day in and day out. But perhaps if I pendulated it (I like that word. 'pendulation'. It's a good therapy word.) and went back and forth between bursts of focused work, and deep rest, it would be good.

OK, I'm back to work now, but only for another... 45 minutes or so. Then I'm going to try to go to bed, nice and early...ish.

Honestly, it feels ok. I think I was inspired by some youtube videos encouraging people to 'take boring breaks'. Meaning, don't scroll, or watch stuff, but just let your mind have some space, sit and enjoy nature (or stare at a wall, apparently) and then you will eventually WANT to get back to work. I don't know if that's the active ingredient in why I'm working better, it might have nothing to do with that and just be about last minute panic focusing me, but I think it's either working, or placebo working, to make the process of focused intense work more pleasant and effective. In either case, I'll take it.

I saw a hummingbird at my sit spot, twice this week! Today, I got to see it sitting still on a tree branch for a bit, and even chirping it's cute little bird song! I always consider a hummingbird spotting magical, so I feel very blessed.

OK, that's all I'm gonna write for this week. Keeping up with things, but keeping them simple and quick. That's the name of the game, currently.

Time, Vastness, Value.

 Hello! Another short one. Expect them all to be this way, for the next few months leading up to graduation. I hope graduation. We'll see how I'm doing with hours. Currently, I'm behind.

Had some fun playing games with friends the other night. Been working all day today. Emails. I need to spend less time on emails. I'm noticing a pattern: I spend too much time writing stuff. This is another one of those strengths/weakness' depending on the context. If my job is writing a lot, and thoughtfully: strength. If my job is writing quick short things: weakness. I really need to design my life as best I can to capitalize on my strengths and not focus so much on my weaknesses.

In any case, My life is now paperwork. As if it wasn't already. Now I've got my capstone class as well, which is just a bunch more writing. Lots of writing. I don't mind that. I just don't want to do it on a deadline that also requires a bunch more writing that can't all fit into that timeline. I will get through it somehow, as always.

Taking breaks, to just sit outside and let my awareness expand, listen to the crickets and watch the wind in the trees, helps a lot. Nature is so much more real and vast and beautiful than this glowing screen I spend so much time in front of. It's kind of odd, to think about how much time I spend writing imaginary words on a glowing screen. What is it that will last or be meaningful, at the end of my life? The time spend relishing nature, for sure. The time spent on logistical email correspondence... not so much. The time spent on writing deep thoughts... maybe. The time and energy spent acting in accordance with my deepest values: definitely.

Thunder, Dosas, Fullness

 I am working hard at all the things. You know, I actually enjoy working on things, getting them done. The issue is just when there are more things than there is time to do them... which I guess is always? 

Anyhoo, I'm not sure I can do it all in the alloted time. I'm wondering if I will need to get an extension on my internship, do an extra semester of it, to make sure I get all my hours in. Kind of like I decided to go down from three to two classes a semester, and it made life way better. If so, better to know sooner rather than later, so I'm not killing myself will all the super full days and long evenings of writing progress notes. Note sure yet.

So much going on. Getting interest in a second therapy group I might be running, doing inake/screener sessions with the people who are interested, about to start the psychoeducational group that is definitly happening. About to start working with a couple, and so wanting to study up on the Gottman method. Doing a paperwork audit and treatment plan updates. Oh, and I've got a dentist appointment. That's all just today and tomorrow.

As I said, too much. Even if I'm working hard at it. I could be working even harder, but at some point of working all the time, you start burning out, and I'm trying to avoid that very carefully.

Lots of cucumbers from the garden! A cooking lesson from an amazing Indian cook! Cat cuddles! Wife cuddles! Life is full and good, and I am behind on paperwork. I guess that's the one-sentence summary. A beautiful full moon, and partial eclipse recently. And an owl sighting, last night. A few end of season fireflies, lots of cricket song (and other bugs as well, I assume, I love the summer symphony of bugs.) And some nice stormy weather, with trees blowing about like a storm was coming, and some thunder today, but very little rain.

With love, and wishes for your happiness

I Out

Vacation! Over.

 Well, it was nice and I didn't spend time doing things I normally do, like update my blog or check work emails (much) or such. Spent time at the beach, spent time playing with extended family. Ate some good food, did some puzzles, went to bed late. Tomorrow is back to work, and I'm currently in transit. It was nice. I can tell because I'm not ready for it to end. That might also be a bit of reluctance to go back to the long hours and hard work and worrying about getting all my hours in. You can see just how much time I'm spending on notes, above and beyond what I should be spending, by the ratio of hours I've got (I'm tracking it, because I need to make sure I get enough hours by the end of the year).

Direct hours this semester: 90

Amount I should have gotten: 120

Indirect hours last semester: 223

Amount I should have gotten: 180

As you can see, I'm waaay over my direct hours, and significantly under my indirect. I estimate I need about 10 hours per week minimum, every week from now on, to graduate, which means usually a full case lode of 5 clients per day, since about a third of them can end up canceling. In fact, of the 10 or so clients I've just added (remember intake paperwork is the worst) Two have left, one hasn't showed up lately and so is probably leaving, another hasn't showed up at all and so is probably not even starting, and another one of my longer term clients has basically met all their goals, and so we're terminating treatment. I need to figure out the churn, of how many clients I need to be continually adding in, to make sure I stay at the numbers I need.

It will be a relief to be off the clock after December and not have to worry about hitting an arbitrary number by an arbitrary date.

I got some cool beach rocks, a squishy stress ball, and some good memories. I was able to have some nice conversations with my relatives. I had fun.

The end!

I out.

Vacation! Almost.

I am on vacation. Technically. Doesn't quite feel like it yet. Just spent 4+ hours catching up on paperwork because my supervisor wants me to practice getting it done in 48 hours as is apparently expected for medicare/medicaid progress notes. (I think this might be a bit more stringent than many people, but it's nice I'm learning best practices. Even if I can't quite achieve them yet because my notes take too long)

Also spent any time I could while traveling yesterday, doing notes.

Spend a little time I couldn't, reading up on Gottman's training, since I might be seeing a couple soon. Or maybe I won't. There is a high attrition rate with clients. Quite a few leave after the first session or two. Once could blame that on the client, but I do wonder what I could do to reduce those early terminations. I think it's lazy to blame that on the client and not look at what I could potentially be doing differently. Even if some of the time, the answer is nothing. Some of the time, the answer will be something.

I do love being able to study exactly what I think is most useful for me as a therapist, rather than what CACREP says are the baseline standards that I need to have looked at to be certified as a therapist. Not to say having that baseline knowledge is bad, I do think its a good basic fluency step, but it's neither sufficient, or, I think, properly proportioned. Looking at the research, there are specific areas of focus that are going to make a bigger difference to my clients, and they lean more towards the practical and the applied, it seems, and to universal principals, rather than specific systems. Though I likely do need a bit more of a theory to hold and help my conceptualizations and frame my approach in a way that makes sense to people and has a good structure and sequence to start from. But at least for me that's definitely going to be an integrated approach.

OK, time to go. I am doing some fun vacation things, such as: sleeping in, eating good food, and soon: an escape room! Yay! Probably! (it will definitely be fun. but we are only probably going to do it.)

I -Out

A busy week.

Today is a busy week.

I am busy doing it.

So, no time for a long blog post. Next week I will be on vacation, so, more time for blog posts. Though, also catch-up on stuff, and I'm always off my schedule on vacations, so I forget the things that I normally have a regular cadence with.

In any case, that's all for now. Be seeing some of you soon ^_^

Crunchy

 So much going on. Just...so much. going from like 5 clients a week to like 12-14. including the 3 hour + paperwork for intakes. and the 45 minutes of notes for each client... I have today, to try and figure out how to do notes faster, and catch up on paperwork backlog, before I go into next week and get buried further behind.

I still love working with clients.

I don't hate paperwork (don't' love it, but pretty neutral on it in general) but if I can't seriously change how I do it, I'm going to burn out and start getting behind. Also, my wife's IVF appointment is happening this week, so it's been numerous trips up to Iowa City (about 3 hours round trip, plus an hour or so at the appointment) and a full day procedure this week. All good things, considering what they are hopefully building towards, but doing paperwork while in the back seat of the car is a lot harder than it sounds, when just trying to type or see what I'm writing is hard with the vibrations and the awkward position, and that's only when I'm not having to drive or navigate. It is most assuredly crunch time, and I feel like the one being crunched rather than crunching. Trying to keep my head above water AND figure out a whole new way of approaching things and adjusting my systems, so it doesn't get way worse as my workload more than triples temporarily, and doubles permanently. And be there to support my partner through these last few intense weeks.

It's a lot. We'll get through it fine, but there is no way I can see to avoid the crunch in the immediate future, so I'm just bracing for it and trying to prepare as best I can.

Hope you are well out there on the other side of the screen,

-isaac

Escalators quicksand and overwhelm

Feeling overwhelmed. I need a bunch more clients, which means a bunch more paperwork, and I don't know how I'm going to manage to get it all done. Next week is ok but probably still to much, the week after that is crazy, way too much, and then I have a week of vacation, which I'm worried will turn into a week of catching up on paperwork instead of actually having a vacation. And I don't know if it's ever going to have a breather, until I (hopefully, still am not getting enough hours) graduate. Feeling the stress.

Even my weekly review, to try and get a handle on things, took like 3x as long as normal, and I can't figure out why. Do I have that much more stuff going on? Am I somehow way more distractible than normal? It's like when things start to go off the rails, my flailing to get them back on the rails makes them go even further off. My classic issue of trying to organize myself so I can get more done, but the organization ends up taking up more of my time than it gives back, so it makes things even worse. Now all the other stuff I wanted to get done didn't get done, and it's 10pm. I wanted to catch-up over the weekend and instead just barely didn't get further behind. 

Things are bad, so I try and make them better, and it makes them even worse. That my friend, is very disheartening.

There's got to be some way to simplify things so I am actually keeping the worthwhile stuff, while discarding or streamlining the majority, so I have more time for the important, but when I try to do that, I fail, and somehow end up with even more stuff. As I said, quite disheartening. Feels like I'm trying to walk up some stairs but I'm on an escalator going down. Except the harder and faster I try and go, the faster the escalator goes the other direction. Maybe it's like quicksand? The more I struggle the more I get sucked down?

In any case, these are all first world problems, as they say. Ultimately, nobody's going to die or even be seriously hurt if I don't get all the things done. It will all work out one way or the other, and the worst that's likely to happen is just being stressed out for several months. Not enjoyable, but doable. I did it for years while being a teacher. Maybe I'll even figure things out and get good enough at the paperwork that it's not so ridiculously time-consuming.

Shots! Administrative Paperwork! More Peaches!

The blackberries are really coming in now! Also, massive massive numbers of peaches. It's finally reaching the end, but it must have been like 50 pounds of them. Picking and processing them during harvest time seems like a full time job.

I think I already mentioned, that I passed the test? Yes, looks like I did. And, I'm getting ready to start my group sessions, which is happening, Yay for that. And, my clinical director put the word out that there was a free intern taking patients, so I've started to get more clients very quickly. So: woohoo! Looks like all my worries are over. Except for paperwork. And the actual process of counselor development. Which is way more fun and interesting and seemingly important than paperwork. And with all the new intakes, it's going to be A LOT of paperwork. I'm sure I will eventually get fast at it, but until then, it's really a lot of time. Working on it. Also trying to work on the actual counseling, but sadly that gets second place because the paperwork HAS to get done and the development does not. Seems backwards. And I often can't resist study to improve myself and learn more about the mechanics and science and theory, when it seems useful in helping my clients improve.

Also: injections. One of my cousins who has a young child was at a bat-mitzvah with me and the dj played a song that one of the teens demanded that was probably inappropriate and part of the song was chanting "shots shots shots shots" and my cousin turned to his little daughter and said something like "he must really like going to the doctor to get shots, huh?" So now that's our theme song when we have to do the hormone injections. Adds a little lightness to something she's really not looking forward to.

Blackberries, Peaches, Star Trek

The blackberry bushes are exploding. The peach tree is giving us boxes and buckets and bowls of peaches. 50 pounds? 60? A lot. Just picking them all is a lot of work especially in the summer heat, but then they have to be processed (they can't all get eaten). It's a lot of work. Just to be clear, I'm not doing much of this work, this is Suzannah, who has a passion for peaches currently and gardening always. What a wonderful thing to be passionate about. But I'm at max capacity already, with work and school and learning how to do my job well. I'll help keep our house plants alive and the need-to-do chores done. I think I've said this before in grad school, it sounds like the star trek thing where their engines have been shot at: energy systems at critical levels, transferring all remaining energy to basic life support systems. I've already gone down in classes as much as I reasonably can. It's time to just push through now. It's only for a little bit, so I can do it, and most of the time, it's not quite this intense. It's just when several sometimes-things overlap.

It's very sweet having the nephews over though, so I say worth it.

OK, that's all for these two weeks, I out

Passing, Pouring, Progesterone-ing

 I have completed my NCMHCE, the counselor licensing exam for Iowa, and... I passed! by a bunch! Woo! Now, we've got family (Suzannah's sister's family) visiting and staying with us for a week, and I need to finish writing the curriculum for the group I'm going to lead to get my group hours. Also a bazjillion other things, so it seems and feels like. I still love the work I'm doing, but it feels like a "when it rains it pours" situation, with lots of paperwork, some of which is kind of backlogged from me focusing on studying for my test, plus the additional inputs required from visiting family, plus Suzannah starting her next round of IVF and all the additional medical stuff to keep in mind. It's a lot.

It kind of seems like me getting behind on my blogs is a good thermometer for how busy I am. I am looking forward to the possibility of being able to slow down for a bit, after I graduate. At that point, I can kind of set my own pace, to a larger degree. Until then, (December) it's a race to the end. Now that my test is done, and it looks like I'm going to get my group hours, the one remaining hurdle that still needs jumping is getting all my direct client hours. I don't have enough clients currently, and though I'm open to getting more, there just aren't many new clients for me currently. I'll figure it out, but it's not yet figured. I'm working on it well in advance though, so that gives me a lot of time to course correct.

OK, gonna end here for this post. Maybe another short one to stay current after this.

The magic of Deliberate/Purposeful practice

 Another! (I am slowly but surely catching up to my blog backlog. How about that. Nice.)

This post is about something I am very passionate about: deliberate practice, as applied to helping professions. Normally, deliberate practice is about the science of mastery, and is applied to fields like professional music or sports (both physical and mental, such as chess.) But the founder of the idea Anders Ericsson, asserts that it is relevant to any kind of mastery that anyone develops, thought it gets a bit more fuzzy (and thus is called "purposeful practice") when it is in less clearly defined and developed fields, where 'success' isn't as exactly measured, and there aren't coaches and systems of training that have been refined over years. In general though, it seems to apply pretty universally, though, interesting and important note, even taking account of deliberate practice, there are still a lot of other factors that seem to influence mastery. 

To my understanding, deliberate practice or its relative purposeful practice (I'm just going to abbreviate that to DP for short, so I don't have to keep typing it out), maybe accounts for 30% of the variance in skill levels of people (that's a gross oversimplification.) That may seem small, but the key to remember, is no other single variable they've been able to identify accounts for close to that much of the variability. It's just a general mush of "other stuff" which is not at all helpful, in gaining mastery. 

In any case, the punchline is this: most of the things we do, to try and make people better at their jobs: doctors, teachers, therapists, is useless. It doesn't actually make them better. But DP does. My first big aha about this, was going through my education masters, being boggled by the lack of scientifically rigorous and proven preparation, for us teachers. We could be making teachers so much better, if we followed what the science said about training for skill mastery. I was sad, because there was literally nothing available to me, to do that, even though I wanted to. It seemed like a gross oversight, and I wanted to do something about it, though I was woefully unqualified to head such an operation. Nowadays, DP has gotten a little more popular and talked about in the literature, though it getting operationalized practically speaking still seems to be in its infancy.

However, the field of psychotherapy, perhaps because it is more closely linked with academia, has a little bit more research minded people behind it, and thus there is actually a small but strong movement of people who are trying to operationalize the science of DP as applied to psychotherapy. This is super exciting to me, especially since the research also clearly shows that just about everything else has close to zero effect on improving therapist outcomes. There seems to be quick growth at and around the begining, where there is a lot of learning, and then stagnation for the rest of their career. This is not isolated to counselors, it's true of many professions where they don't get immediate feedback on the results of their work, like primary care providers, and usually, teachers.

So I am super excited to learn about, and start implementing, DP into my own practice, and maybe someday, help support something that gives that opportunity to teachers as well.

Good enough grades, Group work, and Getting hours

 So I've been diligently practicing for my NCMHCE test, and seem to be getting on average a bit over 70%, which should mean a pass. That is fantastic news, and I'm looking forward to that weight being off my shoulders. The next looming deadline is really just getting all my hours in. If I don't, it's not the end of the world, but it is a whole other semester I'll have to take of school, which would be a big waste of time, since I'd likely only be short by a few hours. But at my current rate, I'm not gonna make it. Though I am ramping up to have more clients per week, so that will hopefully be enough. But I need about 12 per week, which is 4 per day, to make that work currently I'm at closer to 8. Or I might go up to 4 days a week so I can do 3 per day, if 4 ends up feeling too intense. (Seeing 4 clients a day is totally fine. also doing 4 hours of paperwork, not so much.)

Not to mention, I need 10 group hours, which is the hardest thing to get so far, because there are no already-in-action groups going on. I've created and advertised for two groups already, at considerable cost to my time, designing the group, designing the posters and facebook posts. Nobody signed up. Not a one. So I'm looking into other avenues. Seeing if someone else in town is already running a group, and would be willing to let me co-facilitate, or begging my friends to attend something I make for them so I can get my hours in. 

We will see. Hopefully one of the avenues I'm pursuing will bear some fruit.

Wish me luck,

-Isaac

Wishes, Wonder, Work

 I'll do one more short one. Some celebratory news. I think it was just last week, as I was feeling deep gratitude for being able to do this work, that I noticed I felt a bit more confident in myself as a therapist. Part of one of the things that I do differently from most therapists is track the client's progress, as measured by themselves. Through that objective measure, and the people I'm working with's self report, it genuinely seems like what I'm doing is making a positive difference in people's lives. I think it took me this long, to see enough different people, and for long enough, to confirm for myself that it wasn't just a fluke. This is a wonderful feeling, and makes it a bit easier to convince myself I don't need to spend quite so long planning and taking notes, because I can see and feel what I'm doing that's working, and it's not about writing copious notes. (though I do believe thinking deeply about my clients and coming up with possible next steps and trouble-shooting are some of the the things that really help.)

It's also really satisfying, getting feedback about what's working, and what's not, and then working to change things, and seeing positive results from the changes. It feels like what I'd always wanted from my teacher training, but never been able to get.

That's something worth inventing: a system for training teachers that includes a simple, well validated way to quickly measure how students are doing after a lesson, both academically, and socially/emotionally. Did they learn it, did they enjoy it? How could it be improved? And same for classroom atmosphere/culture. My friend deliberate practice and Anders Ericsson. I wonder if that would work to improve teachers skills? I would have loved it. Though I also would have loved a clearer synthesis of what factors actually make the biggest difference in student outcomes. Though I don't care only about academic outcomes, I would want to know if school is helping them become better human beings as well. Otherwise what's the point?

OK, I'll end there for today. Hope you're enjoying the lush summer greenery out there. The fireflys are out in force these nights, and it's magic to behold.

Wishing you well, wherever you are,

Isaac