I am exhausted. This is only the first of four weeks where I am working Monday through Sunday. And already I am bone weary. More and more grey hairs. I have so little mental and energetic space to think, to reflect.
I'll be fine, but a grim, soldier's stare kind of fine. I'll be alive, generally functioning, but ragged. My brain is sluggish. It's only two more months, and I'm all done, flung out into space and the unknown to find my own way. It would be easy to just grit my teeth and dream of winter break and freedom, but I don't want freedom. I want to be an awesome teacher. I want to learn how. And I'm not going to be doing very good learning, with my brain percolating like a lazy slug through my skull. So much precious opportunity that I can't grasp. I want more time to reflect, to plan, to improve, but all I've got are little bites as I run from one thing to the next. I'll do my best while trying to maintain some semblance of balance. But I don't think it's gonna look pretty.
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