Am I excited? hopeful? I figured I should catch my thoughts now, as they will be unavoidably tainted after the experience.
I have low expectations. Though I am very much aware that these things are sometimes super amazingly accurate and real, I'm also aware that cold-reading is a real thing as well and perhaps more common, and this may in fact just be that, or some mixture of that and the real thing. Do I actually expect them to find it? Expect is a strong word. I'm open to the possibility, but at this point, after so many disappointments, I'm no longer jumping up and down like a puppy. I'm kind of in the stance of, "yeah, I know this may never end up happening. That's ok. I don't expect it or feel entitled to it. But I'll stay open to the possibility if the universe chooses to provide it."
I'm doing amazing things transforming my life and bringing my dreams to fruition through hard work and courageous trust and surrender to my highest self and my experience of God, which grows more rich and warm/loving day by day. I don't need a leaf to tell me what my future will be. I will make it, together with the Creator, and it doesn't matter so much what that ends up being, what is important is the process itself, that I live with dignity and integrity, moment to moment. That's what's important, that's what matters, that's the really important magic, the magic that has the potential for the greatest positive effect on my or anyone else's life, even if it is less flashy than a leaf having me and my parent's name written on it five thousand years ago.
Perhaps this is just sour grapes, but as Dan Gilbert (or Gilbert (sour) Grape, as I feel like calling him) has discovered, that synthesized happiness is just as real as the happiness we think should be real, so why complain about it?
(here's the video again, if you don't want to click the link)
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