Spring, relationship, observation, work work work.

Forgive me for what must be an exceptionally short post. So busy. So so busy.
Yesterday, Sunday, I was up at 3:45 to make my flight back out to Austin Texas for my second classroom observation.

I’ve noticed that I can function reasonably well, mentally, on a bit less sleep, but my body let’s me know when I haven’t gotten enough sleep very clearly, by giving me a headache. It’s very clear.

The relationship continues to grow. It is truly a thing of beauty and joy. I did not have high enough expectations, in my first few relationships, and it caused both parties pain in the long run. The quality of our interactions and friendship in this relationship is very strong, and that makes everything else so much easier. It also makes it such a delight to spend time together. I think one of the issues with my previous relationships was that they enjoyed spending time with me more than I enjoyed spending time with them, and at least subconsciously they could tell, so they were sad, and it was draining for me, so I was sad. I had low expectations, I thought I could make do with an ok friendship and turn it into a deeper friendship, a best-friendship. Perhaps that could have been possible, if I’d known about Gottman and both of us had been down for it, but my theory is there’s a certain amount of that deep resonance that you can’t really control, and that is pretty intrinsic to who you and they are. This is part of the, “don’t have a project, have a partner” truism comes from. You need to really like your partner from the get go, so that even if they don’t change at all, you are happy to be with them.

On the other hand, there is a lot of specific stuff on people’s wish lists for partners, that I think isn’t particularly useful in finding a really good partner. Some of the more superficial compatibilities, shared interests etc. Sometimes people give up the really important things, for those things, and that’s like giving up happiness and time for money. Having a high-paying job, but not time to enjoy life or the money you have.

Anyhoo. She is very good. Some day when I have more time, maybe I’ll go through my most recent ‘list’ and talk about her and how she fits, but for now I’ll just say, she has what I call the deep resonance, or the best friend feeling, in spades, which is the most important thing, for me, and perhaps, described a bit differently, with Gottman (I don’t know, maybe I’m just projecting that onto what Gottman’s actually saying, but it’s something like that.) And she is tremendously giving and considerate, which feels so nice, because I also am that way, and it feels good for it not to be lopsided. We both are givers, we both are easygoing and willing to compromise, we both care deeply about how the other feels and want to support them. It feels really wonderful. I feel held, cared for, and so does she. There is quite a lot of mutual... things, in this relationship. But we are also delightfully different in many ways. We’re not too similar.

In any case, we brighten each other’s lives, and make each other better versions of ourselves.

This week is all about my classroom observations, but I really hope and plan to get some work done on the huge mountain of homework I have due before summer starts. I won’t have a huge amount of time, but hopefully I can have at least two hours a night, after the observations end, to start chipping away at that.

OK, goodbye and good morning, I hope you have a good week. ^_^
-Isaac Out