I don't have time for much--you should know this already by the fact that I'm not posting till after Sunday. There would be so much to cover, I can't, I'll just have to summarize.
trip to Austin Texas to observe at the Montessori school: excellent, strange (in regards my airbnb place) and deeply inspiring and instructional (watching really excellent teachers do their thing, each with their own style but all with some core similarities.)
Relationship: really good and budding long distance, then I arrived, had a date (a real date, not a "not date") that was both wonderful, because being the person is wonderful, and kinda bad, for reasons neither of us expected. we over-ate, had stomach aches, and decided to watch "the last unicorn" as our date night movie. If any of you have nostalgic memories of that movie like we did, beware: if you watch it again you'll find some beautiful music and forast montage scenes, and interesting story, a whole bunch of nightmare inducing horrifying things, a bunch of acid trip kinda things, and a super blandly acted, relatively small love story that ends pretty sadly, though the ideas are interesting. Don't show this movie to kids. I think kids remember it so well because it scared the living daylights out of them and so they will never forget it. Also there are some nice scenes of unicorns prancing in beautiful gardens, which is nice.
Anyhoo, there was some more, I haven't mentioned the main thing that happened that set things askew, and I won't, not having time to properly write about it, and wanting to chew it over some more privately. Suffice to say the next day I was feeling sick to my stomach and wondering rather strongly if the relationship was going to end when I saw her again in the afternoon.
The we both finished with some Sunday work and got back together to talk it out, and basically after talking about it for a while I helped her identify how she was feeling and helped her break up with me in the most kind and supportive and respectful way I could. We ended up still best friends, because we just are that, no matter what. But somewhere in there, perhaps partly because of how good I was about breaking up with her? (this makes me laugh inside still) we ended up getting to talking like best friends again and then talking about all the tension and expectations that had been building up and the little ways we'd been trying to force things and not being totally honest with each other, holding things back, and then things ended up feeling so much better and so good we realized without knowing it that we were back together and stronger than ever, though a bit more wary about trying to un-naturally speed up the getting to know each other process.
So I've just been on a crazy rollercoaster, super high ups, quite low downs, and though I'm at a place of deep peace right now, I'm a little... well, I've had a nights rest, so I'm doing better, but at the end of last night I was totally exhausted. We'd both been on quite a trip, in a short period of time. I need a rest. Aaaaand, now back to school! It sounds kinda crazy, this 'no breaks' thing, with the Montessori training I'm doing, and it is, but at least now that I'm getting regular hugs I'm feeling a bit more buffered from the stress, in general.
Ok, that's definitely all for this week.
Hope you have good week too, all you out there across the glass screen from me.
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