Oh. My. Lord.
It's been quite a day or two. It seems like in life, often not much happens to break routine, for a while, and then all at once, it's crazy.
I've been going a little crazy over the last week, for a good reason. So, I believe I said I'd been 'not dating' in an attempt to meet someone. Fun and difficult, that journey. Well, as hoped and planned for, the search has born fruit! Right now and for a bit, I've been swimming in limerence, the scientific term for that first stage of attraction that feels terrific when it's reciprocated and horrible when it's not. It's a bad time to make intelligent decisions, but it's great fun when it's mutual. I barely slept 3 hours last night. I couldn't. You know that jazzed feeling of something romantic budding with someone your really attracted too. ah l'amore. Unnecessary for a healthy happy relationship, but fun. it's the best-friend-ness that's what's really necessary. Not just friend-ness, it must be best-friend-ness. and we have that too. That's what I'm really excited about. Who knows where it will go, but one step at a time, it is deeply gratitude inducing. And good spiritual practice for letting go of expectations and attachment)
But then I had to travel, on those 3 hours of sleep (probably more like 1.5). And still high off of the night before. as the final plane was coming in for it's descent, I was bone weary. That was hours ago. I then had to contend with a horrible car rental company that had given away my car because I hadn't come within 3 hours of the time I signed up for (I have no recollection of being informed of that caveat while renting it) and forced me to rent a more expensive one. And then tried to sell me a bunch of extras, some of which seemed really important and I had to have the lady there try to explain to me what the heck was going on with the toll lane passes, what the difference was, if I even was going to go on them, while a line of other people mounted... (I did NOT sign up for any of their extras. so at least I didn't get additionally fleeced. Never sign up for the extras if you can help it.)
Then I had to drive to my airbnb, which I had rented that morning, because it sounded like the family I was planning on staying with didn't want me to stay at their house. (I could have been wrong about that, but the airbnb was much closer anyways, and I wouldn't feel back working as soon as I got home, so it's more convenient anyways.)
I got to the airbnb, checked my email, and found out that I was supposed to have sent an email address so the person could send me a code to get into the house. I tried to respond but couldn't get into my airbnb account, I tried to text and then call but their phone seemed to be off. The house was distinctly different from all the other houses, though they all looked expensive well manicured suburban, this one had a whole bunch of political posters up on it's lawn, the car in the driveway was old and busted up, (highly unusual in this kinda middle upper class development.) and then the garage door opened, and a very thin middle aged man with a bushy goatee stumbled out, fumbled around clumsily with something, knocking something down, then walked back and closed the garage door. I was wondering if the house was being used as a drug den, and if I was going to have to sleep in the car, but I rang the doorbell. Furious, loud barking from at least two, maybe three dogs and the blurry shapes of them jumping from behind frosted glass. the faint voice of someone, almost sounding like it was coming from the doorbell, which looked like an intercom/camera deal. I waited for a long time. Finally I well put together maybe early 40's woman opened the door, looking distracted, and trying to rein in the ENORMOUS two dogs that were barking and pushing at me, and the much smaller white one that was the barker.
She seemed friendly, though preoccupied, and welcomed me in. The horse dogs (great danes) we nuzzling up to me for pets, and I got led up to my room where I met the man, obviously with a limp, I could now tell, who was trying to get a curtain rod or something up. a nice total reversal of the initial fear, as I was sweating in my car, roomless, parked outside some kind of potential drug manufacturing business. Nope. Kind couple with friendly giant dogs (and yippy small one.)
All this on my deranged state of mind. And somehow I have to get my brain together for tomorrow, where I need to be super focused and diligent for my observations and note-taking. It's surreal. It feels surreal. maybe that's the lack of sleep talking. Anyways, this is the end of the post. I still need to figure out somehow what time I'm supposed to get to the school tomorrow morning.
and then figure out how long it will take to get there, wake up early and review the huge number of very specific steps I need to make sure Im taking, the specific formatting and specific things I'm looking for, review one of the theory papers at least to help me take notes, pick up lunch so I don't have to travel off-site and loose observation hours...
so, I need to go to sleep now. But someone should know. Know about my crazy week. It's just begun. Man I hope it's a bit more mellow, at least once I finish with observations, at the end of the day, and don't have to travel or anything. Right now I'm thoroughly verklempt. But despite all the craziness and sleep deprivation, can't really be anything but deeply happy.
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