OK, I'm on a role with small tasks that need doing. I've got one more big one that I'd like to do today, but I'm not sure it's actually going to happen.
I was recently hit again with the fact of my own mortality. Someone I love... actually, now that I think about it, two people I care about, have cancer that has a scary prognosis. I hugged one recently and they said, "treasure every day." Anyone can say that, but it hit especially hard, coming from them. We should all, always, be treasuring every day. There's not good reason not to. It doesn't cost you anything but awareness. But it is so easy to grow complacent while the sand in our hourglass slips away, never to return. Especially when we think we have a lot left. It can be a useful thought experiment to step into the viewpoint of someone who thinks they might not have much left.
What's really important to you? What is the good life, as Aristotle might have said. I have part of an answer, for myself. In spirituality I found an answer that satisfies me. God realization, Self realization, as the ultimate goal of human birth. I think, if I'm striving for that every day, I'm doing alright. But what does that mean? That's the part that so many people argue about. And that everyone has to find an answer for themselves, or else be ever uncomfortable, since other people's answers will end up chafing like clothes of the wrong size. What's good for one person may not be good for another. It's your own inner voice of truth that is the only truly satisfying one to listen to. Sometimes others will say things that remind you of what your own inner voice is quietly saying, but ultimately it's you who feels good about what you're doing or not.
I'm trying to live with truth, with love, and with a bit of play and laughter as well. I'm trying to do what is right, for my position in the world. Playing my part in the grand drama/comedy of life.
But it's easy to forget to even check in with yourself, about what your own quiet voice of rightness is saying to you. Sometimes, I even find it a little frightening, the thought of looking, maybe finding that the right action is something I don't want to do, because it's scary or uncomfortable or difficult. But ultimately, it has always been massively for my best and the best of all involved, as far as my limited ability to perceive is concerned, when I follow that inner voice to a tee. I've been trying to remember that, as of late, but it is so easy to forget, with all the distractions of the world constantly going on. With exhaustion, and the demands of work etc., to take that moment to stop, get quiet, and ask my inner voice of wisdom, "what should I be doing now?" (and then wait for an answer)
Oh, and sometimes there is no answer, it seems. Or put another way, the answer is, "you could do lots of different things, you choose what you want to do, and I'll let you know if that's ok." Rather than "here is the one pathway that is ok to take."
This is not a magical predictive voice of prognostication, it's just... you could probably simply call it your conscience. The feeling of what is right and wrong, devoid of outside ideas about right and wrong that other people have tried to put onto you.
When I ask my students, "is that a good thing to do?" they almost always know the answer, even though they may not be listening to it. If even little children have this faculty, one could assume adults do as well, though it may have gotten covered over with the over-thinking complexities of adult-hood. or atrophied through disuse. Sometimes we get good at lying to ourselves or justifying our actions, and we drown out that quiet voice, but it's still there, available if we choose to listen.
Live wisely, live well
With love,
Isaac
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