Aaaaaaaaaah all the stuff to dooooooo!
The weekend seems to have become a poor time to update, since it is kind of my busiest time now, thanks to two classes I'm teaching. This in addition to taxes, due very soon, and applying for a specific graduate school, due end of the month. Somewhere in there I eventually need to do laundry and bath myself as well, or else live as a filthy naked shut-in who gets all his food from home delivery services. And while that is attractive in terms of how much time it would save, I like people and I like outside way more than inside, so that's not an option.
So, all that said, perhaps I'll switch up the timing and have an article by... Monday or Tuesday night. Those days have kind of become my weekend, as such. Though at this point they are more like catch up days where I dig into the backlog of stuff that I've been putting off because of the more immediate demands.
I would be dishonest to not also mention the fact that by Monday, I'm generally ready for a bit of a break, and am not necessarily at my most productive. Maybe that has something to do with often being at my parents house, which is lovely and has a forest out back. There might also be some kind of psychological thing that happens, where being in the physical setting where I used to be really easily distracted, and not very productive, energizes those patterns. Whereas the crazy busy, get-er-done patterns were established in New York and are strengthened while there.
Also, in New York, I'm basically alone, which leads to less distractions. Though it also leads to loneliness. I can see how it would be really easy to isolate myself and be nothing but a producer who works works works and then comes home and collapses onto the bed, feet still on the floor, clothes and shoes still on, only to be awoken a few hours later by the alarm for the morning. And another day of the same.
I'm pretty far from that, but I am experiencing how my work schedule (work being a loose term here, as only some of it is earning me money directly), picks up, and, especially with the weekend work, I stop having a social life. I'm trying to stay in touch and take some time to be with good people. But it's difficult.
There's much more I could talk about, but I definitely have to go. I was in fact just planning on writing the first sentence or two of this post, and then saying that might be all you'd get this week. But instead you get much more, because it just came out, rapid fire. Rapid fire like my brain right now. Which is not a comfortable state of being for me. I'm a snail, not a squirrel, and that is the pace of like I am most happy with. I can do short bursts of speed, but I find it exhausting on a deep level, and also aggravating. Rushing seems to give me a temper.
In any case, I feel like by going back and forth between my parent's house and New York, I'm kind of erasing the old lazy-patterns. Which will be necessary if I go to graduate school nearby and spend much of my time at my parents.
I'm already much better than I've ever been in the past. I'd say... conservative estimate, five to seven times more get-er-done, than when I was a teenager, when at my parent's house. Maybe a little bit more when I'm at my brownstone in Queens.
Credit to the amazing teachers I've had, credit the the wonderful, supportive friends, the groups of people that have taught and uplifted me by the power of a high functioning group. Generally also composed of friends and teachers. And most of all to that benevolent power and intelligence of the universe that answers all my prayers. Much of the transformation I've gone through I can credit to nothing but the miraculous, the divine. The core of the changes I've gone through. I do my best, but there's something that picks me up and takes me the rest of the way.
OK, time to do my best some more.
-I Out
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