With this, I remain two posts behind rather than falling further behind. It seems like I need a three day weekend to make any forward progress, otherwise the weekend is just recuperating from the week and taking care of basic upkeep tasks. But I did have a three day weekend, and I did get some things done. My office is looking pretty nice and feeling pretty organized. This is a huge relief. Having a messy space leads to more distractions and inefficiency, as various things that are lying around call to me to do something about them, even though they’re not really important, and finding what I want is harder, and tasks, todo’s, meetings, etc, get lost in the shuffle from one place to another.
I sat down yesterday and asked myself where I wanted to be going. This exercise is born from something I read, I think the quote goes something like, “there is nothing more useless than doing efficiently that which should not be done in the first place.” And the analogy of putting a ladder against a wall and climbing for a while, only to realize once you’ve gotten to the top, that it was the wrong wall you were climbing. So, before you put in a whole bunch of effort, it’s a good idea to make sure you’re climbing the wall you actually want to be climbing. It didn’t take long, but it was helpful. Just as in general keeping your goals fresh in your mind is helpful. You need direction, and a compass, to keep you on track, if you want to get somewhere specific. And if you don’t have a specific location in mind, then either random circumstances or someone else is going to determine where you end up. And the process of getting there is not a one time check-in on your goals, it’s like an airplane navigating, where fairly often the course is measured and small adjustments made so that they are staying on course.
I am typing this during my lunch break. It’s one of the few opportunities I have to do something like this. The weekends, where I have larger stretches of time, are for bigger projects that require that extra time. But lunch is good for doing some quick computer work, since I’ve been trained to eat quickly from my previous teaching job where I only had about a half hour to eat lunch. Having a full hour feels luxurious, but also much appreciated. It really does help give me a breather in the middle of this demanding job, allows me to catch my breath.
I’m continuing to work on focus, and continuing to get better at it, and thus more efficient. But there are still plenty of mistakes that I’m making. There was a time back in my teens, when I tried really hard to be perfect, do things perfectly, and I managed it for a little, but they circumstances made it difficult and I stopped, and I got really depressed. I think I decided then that I just couldn’t do it, that I’d never be able to be really productive and focused and stick to a good routine or any super disciplined behavior. I think that belief is still deep in my subconscious, but now that I realize it, I need to turn to myself and say, “no, you can change, and just because you forget, or give in during a moment of weakness, doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Pick yourself up, learn what you can from the mistake, and try again, and if you don’t give up, certainly you will succeed in the end.”
Also, I realized I need to prioritize joy in my life. It’s an essential element of my ultimate goal, enlightenment, and of all the aspects of that, I think that one may be where I am doing the worst. That was something that came out of my “climb the right ladder” introspection.
OK, that’s definitely all for today. The artificial time limit that my lunch break imposes has the added benefit of keeping me from spending to long on these.
Love to you, friends and family,
-Isaac
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