Four hands and a burning car speeding down the highway.

Quick post I think. 3 papers due this weekend (hopefully only two if I can get one of them moved to next week). Thus the shortness of this.

The end of this semester, April 21st, I have four papers/projects due. Given that I can do about 1.5 large papers per week, if working at max capacity, I need to begin working on this now, since I have papers due each weekend going forward, except next weekend. Except I will have one due next weekend, if my professor is kind.

I've been burning out. I've come to the conclusion that I need to reduce my course workload. I'm not the first one to come to this conclusion, but I'm the one that has to pull the trigger, so now it's going to happen. Though I'm not wasting the last 9 weeks of work by quitting in the middle, so it's gonna start either during the summer semester, or this coming fall. I'm looking forward to it.

In the meantime, I'm thinking about how to excuse myself from any responsibilities I can reasonably excuse myself from, such as some of the volunteer work I do. It makes me sad to do so, but future Isaac will be thanking me, I suspect.

My birthday is coming up. I think that makes 38? I feel like I'm getting kinda old to have kids. Seems like a young body is better suited to keeping up with them, but I guess the biblical Isaac was born to a much older father, so there's precedent. I notice the difference though. The declining energy, how it takes longer to heal injuries. In a sense I've been preparing for the aging process my whole life, as I've felt like a crotchety old man since I was like 7 years old. On the other hand, there is definitely some regret that it's taken me so long to get myself together enough to really enjoy life. On the third hand, at least I've kind of got it together now, that's not something guaranteed in life, it is a blessing at any age.

On the fourth hand, if I keep up this crazy young persons graduate school schedule, I'm still not getting to enjoy it. Thus realizing I need to chill out. I don't like that it will take longer to finally be working with people, but from the "you might croak in your sleep tomorrow" perspective, it really makes more sense to take it at a pace that I can enjoy. I had a dream last night that kind of drove home the point. I'm lucky enough to have the option to take longer with my degree, so it's kind of masochistic to keep going as hard as I can, just because it means I'll reach my goals sooner. My ultimate goal is not one I can reach faster by rushing, and in fact doing so could easily make it take longer. As my teacher says: start early, drive slowly, arrive safely.

OK, that's all for this week, back to work.