So much going on!

 Alright, some rather larger than normal announcements.

First and foremost, Japan just announced it's opening its borders to tourists, so Suzannah and I are going on our long postponed honeymoon to Japan! It's happening real soon! Like, in two weeks 😮

We'll be gone from October 16th through November 6th, so if I don't respond quickly to emails or texts, this is why. As for right now, I'm trying to get ready for the trip, researching where I might like to go and what I might like to do, so we can plan our itinerary a bit and find some hotels, or buy tickets, if there are things we need to do ahead of time. I'm hoping to have some time and flexibility to be spontaneous and explore and have adventures as well. We've gotten lots of good recommendations already, since many of Suzannah's workmates are from Japan (and in some way intersecting with the travel and tourism industry.)

So, that's awesome. I'm also trying to learn as much Japanese as I can in the few weeks I have before I leave (and I'll continue while I'm there. I should be able to do some immersion learning, right?)

Also, the house is finalized. We did the back and forth dance and inspection etc., and things seem pretty much settled. Closing set for a week or so after we get back from the Japan honeymoon.

So... a lot going on. As I said in the beginning.

I don't know that I'll have anything to top that until I get back and hopefully have some awesome stories to share. Suzannah is going to be writing an article about the trip for her work, so I'm planning to help out by writing down some of my experiences as well, along the way. It also means there's more incentive to take good and copious pictures, so we may have more pictures that our normal sparse documentation. I prefer having the experience to recording it, but I'm also coming to appreciate how much gets forgotten if it doesn't get recorded in some way. Just enough pictures to jog my memory, of things I want to remember.

OK, that's it for this post. Another week has passed, so I'm still two behind :D

-I Out

2/4 Catch-up, Cat discipline, House!

 Alright, #2 catch-up post. 

Perhaps I should mention why I'm so behind. Well, technically, I posted on Wednesday, so rather than 4 weeks behind I'm... oh, actually it's worse, it's 4 and a half weeks behind :D

Anyhoo, I couldn't post on the 27th or 28th, because I was packing and preparing furiously for the vision quest, and traveling there, and then actually doing it, same goes for the next weekend. Then I was spending time with Suzannah, and spending any spare time I could get, journaling, trying to capture everything I could about the vision quest, so it wouldn't be forgotten. Only partially successful there, there was just too much, and too much detail. But there is always the option for a clarification quest, so, all good. I wanted to spend that next week either being with Suzannah, letting her show me around her childhood vacation neighborhood and interacting with her extended and immediate family, or journaling.

Then I got home a week and a but ago, without Suzannah, and I wanted to continue Journaling whenever I could, but there was also stuff to take care of in the house, unpacking, cleaning, petting the kitties, convincing the picky-eater kitty to eat her non-preferential meat (I've been successful with that so far, see previous post on me being a good disciplinarian)

AND, I found (or more precisely our real estate agent found and I jumped on) a house! woo!

And, as I mentioned previously, getting back into the swing of things and being productive has been a steady process of improvement. So, here we are.

And, there I go, since it's time for my weekly lunch with my Aunt.

See you next time (which may be soon, since I'm only at 2 out of 4 catch-up)

-Isaac

1/4 catch-up. Timing myself to improve my efficiency. Life is a game, play it full-out!

 How many weeks has it been? The last post was August 24th, so that makes...about 4 weeks. Wow. OK, for my own rules-lawering satisfaction, I think that calls for 4 very short blog posts.

I'm going to make this one short via a timer I already started for 10 minutes. Why? Well, I've finally arrived at home base, after a summer of crazy moving and then a whole bunch of travel, culminating in an incredibly powerful vision quest experience and then slowly winding down with a bit of fun in Cape Cod and then a week and a bit by myself while Suzannah continued to travel and be with family. (A nephew's birthday elicited the last minute change in plans. Suzannah has a hard time saying no to cute nephews. She's remarked more than once that I'm probably going to be the former disciplinarian. I'd find this idea funny if it wasn't true, because before my odyssey into teaching, I was one of the most lax disciplinarians I could think of. As I've said before, good Dad training, if nothing else (though I do think it will be useful for other things relevant to my life. More on that... perhaps in another post.)

In any case, the timer came about during a morning reflection and brainstorming session. I'm back into the enviable situation of making my own hours and answering only to myself (and Suzannah, I guess). But that situation is not truly enviable. Only enviable to people who have not had the experience themselves for an extended period of time. Sitting around doing nothing actually feels kind of trash, turns out. Humans are designed to have goals and to work. Like car batteries go dead if you don't use them for a while, our souls kind of go dead if not given over to some vigorous work at least fairly regularly. Incidentally, my car battery did go dead and I had to jump it when I returned. Perhaps a good analogy, as I'm having to jump-start myself, and get back to the habits I developed previously, to make sure I was feeling good and staying active and focus, when I was on my own routine back in New York. 

I find it exciting and invigorating though. When things are not working, it's a chance to reflect, figure out what isn't working, and come up with an idea for a fix, and then try that fix out. It's the same kind of joy in improvement you get when playing a video game and dying repeatedly to the level boss, as you slowly try out strategies and get better and better until you beat them and get the satisfaction of doing so and getting to move on to the next level, knowing you're now much better at facing those kinds of enemies.

Welp, so much more to talk about, including my incredible vision quest experiences (though I'll only be sharing little tidbits, as the transformative action of the quest is best served by keeping the deepest core elements secret, and even some of the other elements, until they've had a chance to work their magic into my life.)

But my time is past up, so I'm signing off on this post.

Quest-ions

 I leave for my vision quest in 4+ days. So, my main focuses are:

- make sure I've got everything I need for the quest, packed and ready, including my travel plans, which are going to involve a fair bit of public transport

- make sure I've got the questions I want to bring into the quest, ready at hand, deeply thought about and researched

- prepare for my SSE online classes, with some lesson plans and activity ideas

So, aside from going through some simple todo's, I'm thinking deeply about what questions I want answered. In general what I want is obvious: I want a job, work, that I love.

But how can I get specific about that? the more specific the questions are, the more useful they will be. What constitutes a "good job"? I want to enjoy it, but I also want to be financially comfortable. Should I entertain the idea of doing something I'm good at but is ho-hum, part time, so I can do something I really enjoy, the rest of the time? or should I keep searching until I find something I enjoy that can also make me enough money to feel financially secure? And I also want to be doing something that is helping others. Will that need to be a separate consideration? Should I think about that after I've thought about what I enjoy? What about the role of working with my strengths? If I'm going to be useful to others, it makes sense to work with my strengths. Same for being financially secure. Using my strengths means I'll do a better job that average, probably.

In addition, how will I know if what I think is a good choice, actually is? My only clear way to figure that out is to try it, in some way. But if I'm taking the time to think about this a bunch, which I'm doing now, and planning to do in the vision quest, I'm not going to have the opportunity try out my hypothesis. Which will likely improve as I try them out and see, 'yes, this i really is enjoyable, no this actually isn't, yes, I am strong in this, no I actually am average in that.'

In addition to those questions, I'm thinking about what my underlying values are and why, thanks to a book called "The Pragmatists Guide to Life," which is offering some questions and thought experiments with the thesis that the most important and fundamental thing to identify is: what are your intrinsic values? Things you think are important for their own sake. And which are your highest values, that supersede the others?

Do I try and work this out before going into the vision quest, or just bring them in as well?

It's been a while since I really journaled voluminously, but I used to do it all the time, at length. I'm feeling like it is time to revisit that practice, to help me get some clarity in my thinking. I can't do it here, because it usually produces a very large quantity of materiaal, with no editing and often fragmented trains of thought, and may be very personal or potentially offensive. I don't think it would actually be offensive, but it definitely could be more personal than I'd like to share publicly, and just the act of writing something knowing it will be read by others changes what gets written.

But writing itself helps me organize my thoughts. I usually end up typing, because it's the only way to kind of keep up with my thinking, and I sometimes find it better than speaking, because I can look back at what I've written. Though often I don't. So, that's what's up next on the menu. I may not have a post next week, because I'll be in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey, again. If I do post, it will be by Saturday, since I'm traveling Sunday. If you don't see it by then, you won't get anything until after the following Sunday.

See you later, where I can maybe tell you a little about my quest (though you're always supposed to keep some of it to yourself, not shared with others.)

Quest

 I am in beautiful Rehoboth beach, in a multi-million dollar house rental, (the rental isn't millions, but the zillow estimate is maybe 3 million for the house) with a multi-generational family (nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles and cousins and parents and wife.) All together helping to pay for the rental and the chef that makes dinners for us.

And I took today to fast and meditate and quest. The fast is to prepare for the 4-day fast involved in the vision quest coming up for me. The spiritual activities are to take advantage of the fasting, and also prepare for the activity of the quest, and to seek answers and clarity, just the the full quest itself is for.

Many would look at this externally and say, why are you wasting a day of paradise for deprivation. Not eating the delicious food, not having fun with family or at the beach. Or they would say, wow, that's intense, I couldn't do that.

The reality is, I'm not questing or fasting because I'm masochistic. I'm questing because questing is good. Fasting and prayer and meditation is food for the soul, when done right. After just a little of it, I feel a sense of peace and beauty and gratitude that is somewhat intense, and definitely outside what I experience in my everyday life. Even some clarity on deep questions I have about myself and my path.

Life is not all about doing easy pleasurable things. Eating and sleeping and playing games to pass the time. We all crave purpose, peace, love, and joy. Food, external things, will never give a lasting version of these. It's when we answer the deeper promptings of our heart and soul, that life really reveals it's sweetness. Like a flower blooming. Give, help others, for its own sake. Revel in the beauty of the world and dwell on all you have to be grateful for. Seek the spiritual font within for your primary joy and solace. Do what you know to be right, even when it's difficult.

There's a verse in the Bhagavad-Gita that goes something like, "for the wise, day appears as night, and night as day." It makes me think of this. Most of the world thinks the external things are "day" and will give them happiness. It's not totally wrong. You get some happiness from them, sometimes. But the wise know it is the internal that really is where to look for happiness. That is "day" for them. And each see's the other option as "night"

If you want to look externally for lasting or deep happiness and fulfilment, it's what I mentioned. Serving others for its own sake. Living a life based on righteousness, love, truth. Those values that are the external manifestations of the internal like within.

People maybe think I'm a little crazy, or if they're generous, just eccentric, but I think the same thing of them. And they'd probably think what I thought, if they'd experienced what I have. I did think what they thought, before I experienced it. I don't really think they're crazy or eccentric. I get why they act the way they do. 

I'm definitely not anything like done, but I've gotten enough experience to confirm the general hypothesis to my own satisfaction, and the main emotion that goes along with that, is just gratitude. And so, I am grateful for my little mini vision quest.

I think that's one of the differences, between my novice spirituality, and my now journeyman spirituality, is that I now do the spiritual work, because I like to. Because it feels right, and makes my life better, richer. Rather than, because somebody told me to, or I think I'm supposed to.

Makes me think of the habit formation advice for establishing an exercise routine. You need to choose a good "why" for your exercise. Not "so I'll look good in a swimsuit" or even "so I'll be healthy" but something more immediate, like "because I feel better after running" or "I have more energy for the rest of the day."

Anyways, the quest is done, all that's left is the night, which is actually kind of a lot more time to fast, but I'll probably be asleep for most of it.

Sacrifice is essential to life, and is not a bad thing. I sacrifice some food and comfort, for peace, clarity, meaning, and joy. What you have to remember is to look at the right time horizons. Most of the deeper satisfactions come after a period of struggle, when it's not fun. The easy pleasures are often like junk food. They taste good in the beginning, but later you get indigestion. The longer lasting pleasures are more like complex carbohydrates. They don't taste as good as candy, but they give you good energy throughout the day.

Good Night! Next time I'll have some stories from my trip to New York, probably.

Cleaning House. Packing Up.

This week is pretty simple: try and get the house in some kind of presentable order, with boxes not all over the place, for the house/cat sitter. And the house generally cat proof (and ant proof, as we've had some issues with ants in the kitchen. So far the diatomaceous earth is working, but I won't be able to do any more, if they find another way in.) Pack (which has a lot of sub categories because of how long we'll be gone and the different things I'll be doing). And take care of any other miscellaneous tasks I can't do once I'm on the road. I'll be gone for a full month, starting Thursday. That's two days away. Lot to do. So this one's a short one.

Back to cleaning up the house.

Take care, be well.

-I Out

House Hunt, Vacation Protocol, Time Tracking

 OK! I'm back, couples massage is tonight, looking at a house, also tonight. Probably too small, and too far out of town, but it's an area that, back in highschool, I remember seeing, and thinking, "this is the kind of place I'd like to live." Because it was beautiful nature, not too far from town, and had some neighbors, so it didn't feel super isolated. We'll see, I guess.

I'm back into the groove of things finally, starting to re-form my habits and routines that so increase my general happiness, wellbeing, and productivity. And, beginning to experiment and tweak things, once again. For example, I'm starting up time tracking once again. I'd done it in the past, and it was useful, though at some point, I got too busy to even check what my days actually looked like, so all the data tracking was useless.

But as long as you are actually looking at what you track, there is very strong scientific evidence that what you track, improves. Kind of like a more specific version of "what you put your attention on, grows." Except easier to measure, and so easier to prove scientifically. Weighing yourself leads to a higher likelihood of reducing your bodyweight, of that's a goal of yours. Tracking what you eat makes you more careful about what you eat. Tracking whether you exercise makes you more likely to exercise.

At least with exercise, I have personal experience. Tracking it was helpful (along with reducing the requirements I needed to meet to be successful, aka 2 minutes of sun salutes was sufficient) in establishing the habit of exercising every day. Once the habit was established, there was no longer any need to track it. Like brushing my teeth, I just felt a little incomplete, if I didn't do it. And if something happened to disrupt everything in my life, like moving did, it is easy to get back into the habit again.

I'm hoping tracking where I spend my time will help me spend it better, and do things more efficiently. It theoretically should, as long as I take the time to review and reflect briefly on the data every day. I'm excited about this, as I'm excited about lots of things I've been wanting to do previously but havent had the time for.

My routine is going to be repeatedly disrupted in a week and a half, because I'll be "on vacation" traveling around, seeing family and such. This is a good time to work on creating a modified "travel routine," a morning routine that can work with uncertain travel conditions and environment and often smaller amounts of time.

We also saw some land come on the market, that looked beautiful and spacious and in the right part of town that we wanted. BUT then I drove out there to double-check a hunch Suzanna had, and she was right: it was too close to the massive 4 lane highway that goes by town, and the sounds from it were too loud. I want to spend as much of my time outside the house as possible, or as close to outside as I can, and having constant car sounds as loud as the birds chirping is just unpleasant. But it was pretty close. Minus the car sounds, I think we would have jumped on it and started the long process towards building a house. And it was an exciting feeling. I think we both want to be done with the house hunt process. Especially since our current house feels a bit to small. Like wearing shoes that pinch at the toes or something. Except buying a new pair of shoes is a bit of a bigger deal, so it's worth waiting. But it will be a huge relief once we are truly settled in somewhere, can put all our stuff way in a neat and orderly way, somewhere we're not worried about it flooding or molding (like our basement) and take that big todo off our minds.

On the other had, the market is bad right now, so the longer it takes, the more likely it is to be a better move, financially.

Hopefully today, I'll get some stuff cleaned up, at least in my room. Not having ample storage space means it's harder to keep things clean, and harder to put things away, when your trying to tidy.

Still hopeful,

-I Out