As usual these days, I don't have much time, so I'll try to be concise.
Unusual is that I have a few pictures from my own life to share:
From a while ago: my aunts house (where I'm staying) has a beautiful vine that's consuming everything, but I don't think anybody minds because it is super-prolific with fragrant white flowers.
Makes me think vaguely of about environmental imbalance and armageddon, but with a happy spin on it. Like, we're all going to die, but our deaths will be due to an overabundance of beautiful flowers. If you have to go some way, that doesn't sound too bad.
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| (Photos of the earth-devouring, idyllic plant) |
Now to today: I went to sleep and woke up anxious. Common feeling for a new teacher (maybe for an old teacher as well?)
One thing a mentor told me last night was that energy, which could be interpreted as anxiety, but also could be interpreted as excitement, is actually not a bad thing: it keeps us on our toes, as teachers, it keeps us fresh, present, and the energy generated can be used to power our preparation and teaching.
I really like that interpretation. Though I’m still working on converting my anxiety into excitement via the magic of perspective.
In addition I was working on faith, as a way of staying connected to source, spirit, throughout the day, despite anxiety, being super busy without time for silence, etc. Faith that all is untimely for our best, because not a blade of grass blows without God’s will.
(and incidentally, if we allow ourselves to be guided by our internal voice of good, of spirit, conscience, intuition, however we want to call it, it’s the state of being in flow with life and our own highest wisdom and heart. When we are doing that, then our life becomes maximally good. But no matter what, the universe is giving us the best it can. Not always what we want, but what we need, to grow towards and pupate into our butterfly form.
With that faith, there is a certain relaxation. Even in the midst of anxiety, that allows for a clear head, and at least some level of connection to Source, to the light within.
Anyways, today seemed to go well, I didn’t get emotionally triggered and remembered often to center and check in with that internal compass of light.
And then, walking to my car across the school soccer field, I found a FIVE leaf clover! What a playful little wink from the universe. I feel much gratitude.
Pics or it didn’t happen, right? One of the things I like about having a good phone camera is I can capture beauty or whimsy without destroying the thing. A potted flower rather than a cut one, so to speak. Here it is:
Final things: as I was almost home, I saw yet another of these black, fuzzy, extremely quick moving caterpillars running across the road. I don’t see how they could understand the concept of traffic, but to all appearances that’s exactly what they’re doing, trying to get across before they get run over. I remember there have been a lot of them this season because I always feel really bad when I don’t notice them until too late and potentially run them over (potentially because there’s no way to check, they’re too small to see in the rearview mirror and I don’t know exactly where me wheels are.)
Anyways, I got it into a jar with some leaves and a stick, and at the very least I will enjoy it’s presence, but maybe I can share my fascination with the kids.
Again, a personal picture to illustrate:
It’s cozyer now, I’ve added a bunch of different leaves in an attempt to see what it likes. So far it’s been fond of fruit tree leaves.
Last, my attempt to sprout almonds resulted in growing something entirely different. A smelly, feather-thin mold. I suspect the almonds weren’t of the highest quality, even though they were “raw” and organic. I’ll have to try a different supplier than the local health food store.
And that’s all for the week.
Man, it still took to long. Far, far too long. Now it's time to prep my writing lesson and go to sleeeeep.
In the future my posts may simply have to be “Hello. No time for a long post this week. Goodbye”
until then,
Love ^_^
-I
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